Monday, 1 October 2018

Russia GP - "We'll talk about it later"

Guest blog this week from Halo, Baby!

It was already shaping up to be a poor race weekend on Saturday when it was announced that dirty Di Resta would be co-commentator for Sky, when Sirotkin killed-off Q1 by spinning out to cause a yellow flag and when Q2 became the most pointless 12 minutes of the season so far (as 3 of the 15 drivers had massive penalties and 2 were not running due to tyre tactics).

At the risk of pissing in the wind, I’m getting so sick of SkyF1’s infatuation with Lewis Hamilton, who I will never stop despising. I mean, why did the grid-walk have to be interrupted to show a fluff piece where Hamilton, dressed like a holidaying Rupert the bear, was interviewed in Borneo by Anthony Davidson about eco stuff (no mention of irony in terms of the carbon footprint caused by the F1 circuit killing the Borneon rain forrest). 

The lovely folk at Liberty Media have brought in a mixed bag audiovisual stylings to F1, summed up in a race where 37 laps in we witnessed a “the Pit Window is OPEN” flashing graphic. And then there’s Hamilton’s “gangsta” F1 profile pic where he does the pointy gun thing.... Though the slow-mo internal graphic of a Sauber’s brakes was pretty damn cool.

So, what did we learn from this race? 
- No one notices Toro Rosso anymore (it escaped us that they both went out within the first half-dozen laps);
- That Williams and McLaren have forgotten who they were and should be and have entered into a race to become the new Marussia [Ed. Make that Minardi];
- That Carlos Sainz has a long memory and a strong sense of justice (“remember the 5 second penalty I got two years ago for...”)
- That Force India are no longer prepared allow Perez to write-off cars for our entertainment;
- That Vettel has resigned himself to runner up this year, as displayed by blowing within a few corners his position ahead of Hamilton;
- That Max Verstappen has an “ultimate objective” (according to early team radio) and that he’s so freaking fast he’ll probably achieve it;
- That the (not) podium interviewers think up their own questions.... and that this is a very poor idea;
- That Di Resta thinks Hamilton is “a very special human being”;
- That it’s OK to shaft Bottas for a couple of (ultimately unnecessary) driver points for Hamilton;
- That Toto Wolfe is crap at apologies;
- Oh, and that beards are officially no longer hip (as demonstrated by Putin’s wee buddy, Bernie E)

Monday, 17 September 2018

Singapore GP - "Keep pushing"

The weekend started poorly with Hamilton turning to two wheels for the weekend - a scooter.  The attitude continued with his Q1 radio comment: "You guys need to listen to me".  In all fairness, they probably should, as he did an amazing qualifying lap and secured an easy victory.

Force India are in contention for the team bringing the most entertainment to the race.  The last thing Ocon needed was Perez taking him out of the race.  I'm not sure anyone knows why they've chosen Perez (one of the most hyped drivers of recent years and yet not going the way of Vandoorne???).  The FI bosses must be scratching their heads post-race after subsequently seeing his mid-race move on Sirotkin.

Verstappen also brought a smidgin of excitement, as we waited to see whether he would come out of the pits ahead of Vettel (he did).  It was fantastic holding of nerve and a demonstration of the power of the undercut?  Overcut?  Half cut?  Cut and blow dry?

Magnussen somehow gave the fastest lap of the race.  I think every year we should keep looking out to see if it is ever beaten.

Ultimately though, Ferrari tweeted post-race: "Boredom is the real winner at Singapore".

Singapore GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly! - 842*
2. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and, um, Two Other Guys - 806*
3. Evel Marque - 741*
4. Maximum Attack! - 681
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 637*
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 631*
7. The Hopefulls - 598*
8. No Vices Now - 596*
9. The Pitstop Princess - 554*
10. Halo, baby! - 550*
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 485*
12. Hippy F1 - 437*
13. Jack Johnson - 424
14. Wheels on Fire - 398

* Home track played

Monday, 3 September 2018

Italy GP - "For continuing to believe in me, I really do appreciate it"

 Or "Disappointing.  There was nothing I could do"

Everyone was happy to see to see Raikkonen on pole, even if he is an old man.  Or because he is an old man?

Lap 1 saw an "incident" that we hoped would get Hamilton a penalty.  But we did get to watch Vettel "fight" his way through the pack and hear the tfosi roar.  Whilst we wondered how Ferrari would engineer his pass on Raikkonen.
Lap 4 (or 2 if you don't count the laps under the safety car), saw Hamilton overtake Raikkonen and then he got it back.  A heartstopping moment.
After Alonso stopped on lap 10, I'm wondering if we'll ever really see him race a Formula 1 car again.  I see they've chosen a young gun to replace him, who I guess isn't used to do many laps in a race, so will fit right in.
After the first stop, we were willing Raikkonen on, to push, push, push to get the undercut.  Ultimately it didn't work out for him though and Bottas was usefully deployed.  I've not been so invested in a race for a long time.  Lap 45 was a disaster as Raikkonen just couldn't match the lap times of the Mercedes although he was too nice about it and could have made himself a little wider.

Other highlights of the race included a petulant Verstappen holding back Bottas saying: "I know I'm losing to Vettel but I really don't care", the "Kimi for President" banner and Williams getting their first points of the season.

Volunteers for writing up the forthcoming races please!

Italy GP - Result

1. Give it some Gasly! - 791*
2. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 755*
3. Evel Marque - 682*
4. Maximum Attack! - 622*
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 603*
6. No Vices Now - 553*
7. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 551
8. The Hopefulls - 550*
9. The Pitstop Princess - 533*
10. Halo, baby! - 529*
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 461*
12. Jack Johnson - 408
13. Hippy F1 - 407*
14. Wheels on Fire - 376

*Home track played