Italy GP - "Pidgeon Italian from the 3rd Placed Driver (and probably a "Nice Job Lewis" or "Get it there" that wasn't broadcast)"

London has many things the rest of us don't get access to, but it seems the SkyF1 channel isn't one of them so I've been asked to guest blog while PSP and her litter were holidaying in the big city.

Sky's coverage took a break from the usual Hamilton-heavy features to carry out the obligatory "We're in Italy so lets jam as many Ferrari pieces in as we can" schedule (everyone in Italy passionately loves Ferrari and thinks about red cars 24/7, don't you know?). It did include one of the best Kimi interviews I've ever seen, as he was surprisingly pleasant and chatty with Brundle... Probably was for the best to steer clear of Hamilton anyway, in case he carried out a rendition of his Princess Di poem.

It's worth mentioning the farce that was qually: Grosjean's crash, due to weather he warned was unsafe to drive in, red-flagged the session, which then didn't restart for nearly 3 hours because of said weather. A litany of farcical grid penalties (9 drivers penalised for offenses such as replacing faulty parts and forgetting to collect Tiger Tokens when fueling up) meant the grid looked nothing like it did at the end of qually and only someone with the brains of an actuary could work it all out.....All this lead to the inevitable Hamilton pole, Vettel starting way back, Lance Stroll on the front row and bad omens for a predictable outcome.

Lance Stroll decided not to go for the win (leaving Hamilton free to fly off onto an insurmountable lead). Meanwhile Max Verstappen decided to ruin his race after only 4 laps by smacking into Massa.... Bloody foolish weans, don't know what they've got till it's gone.

Sauber decided to try and hit each other in an attempt to get on TV (though I'd forgotten what they looked like and had to Google them). They were not shown again and you have to wonder how much worse they would be if the Honda deal had went through (NOTE: PSP and I both drive Hondas and are very happy with them [not a plug to get more Hondas - ed.] [unless they're up for that? - ed.]).

Joylen Palmer did his best to prevent McLaren getting their hands on his Renault engine, diving off the track and peeving Fernando in the process - "5 seconds is a joke", repeatedly bleated Alonso, who presumably felt castration was a more suitable punishment for the minor offence. I suspect the thought of McLaren throwing away Honda money for a small engine improvement has finally brought on his mental breakdown.

Danny Ric shimmied his way up the field, as he always seems to do, despite his car feeling "gooey in traffic". An incredible drive by him again, it's a shame he joined Red Bull as their era ended.

The Ferraris, having ballsed up qualification, decided to use team orders early on to enable Kimi to battle the increasingly impressive Force Indias for 5/6th (instead of the Mercs) and allowing Vettel another bland 3rd.

Williams tried to liven things up for the viewers, with their drivers attempting to take each other out on the last lap. Mercifully it didn't come off for them. 

Oh, and as expected Hamilton bolted off to an unassailable lead and will now win the championship, become the greatest driver of all time and be canonised by the end of the week. Despite all this, the fans at Monza booed him...though they may have just been booing the garish Heineken themed trophy he was given.

Belgian GP - Results

1. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 753*
2. No Vices Now - 729*
3= Bernie is a hobbit - 682*
3= Evel Marque - 682*
5. Hoping for an Indian Summer - 675*
6. The Pitstop Princess - 633
7. Torque of the Devil - 630
8. Moneyball - 624
9. Even more hopeful - 590*
10. Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 544
11. Burn After Racing - 523*
12. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 495
13. BOT-RAI-PER - 482*
14. Hippy F1 - 416*
15. Slightly Slower Racing - 398

*Home track played

Belgium GP - "..."

No winning radio transmission from Hamilton and not much to say from me.  When did Belgium become disappointing?

This year the track really suffered from "Curse of the Home Race" with honorary Belgian Verstappen going out on Lap 8 and genuine Belgian Van Doorne starting right at the back of the grid.  How can a land that gave the world chips with mayonnaise be so cruel?

It turned it's attention to Raikkonen on Lap 16 with a ten second penalty, depriving us poor spectators of yet more action: "What do you mean?  It was at the side of the road!"  Alonso decided that we should no longer enjoy his team radio: "No more radio for the rest of the race."

Force India drivers did their best to spice up the race, with Race Control "noting" their childish spats.  Vettel's attempt to give the race a little drama by having a slow second pit stop, did nothing but hand the race to Hamilton.  My drive of the day goes to Ricciardo, who at least overtook Bottas and Raikkonen.

The analysis of the race has given me more to comment on than the race.  Webber believed it to have been: "an absolutely amazing display from the top three drivers".  What?  Of driving unchallenged?  Hamilton answered his first podium question with the usual: "The crowd have been amazing."  Followed by some controversial (?) "Irish orange" stuff.  His second question was answered with something about: "Dreams do come true."  And to think that some people might want to hear about his racing?  Ricciardo got the biggest cheers, which is well justified.  Bottas got a review from his boss of: "performance not good."  Well, he's been resigned for next year, so he's probably resting on his laurels now.

Raikkonen has also been resigned for next season.  Which cements for me that he has some sort of incriminating information about someone high up in Ferrari.

Hungary GP - "nice drive"

Martin Brundle falls ill; Paul Di Resta is promoted.  Felipe Massa falls ill; Paul Di Resta is promoted.  Paul Di Resta is promoted; Anthony Davidson is promoted.

Not the only promotions this race...McLaren locked out the fourth row in qualifying!

At the start of the race, Ricciardo radioed in: "someone hit me".  Yes, your team mate.  Crofty observed of the start: "Di Resta let everyone get away ahead of him."  How kind.  Soon after, Renault are on the radio to Hulkenberg: "Jo is slower than you".  He was very kind not to reply.  Why hadn't we heard from Hamilton?  His radio was broken, a mercy to all.   Kimi "leave me alone" Raikkonen was all over team radio too.

Team orders were out in force this weekend, although no one labelled them as such.   Both Mercedes and Renault played them, with Ferrari choosing not to.  Although would Raikkonen have his contract renewed if he overtook Vettel?  (Mr PSP wonders.)

With eight laps to go Di Resta retired.  Having never driven the car before.  This begs the question, why Williams didn't employ their test driver?  Or give their reserve driver track time before?

As the procession was nearly over, a couple of interesting points arose.  Was Hamilton going to give third place back to Bottas as promised?  He did.  Who would score fastest lap?  Alonso!

What have we learnt from this race weekend?  That Raikkonen's Finnish fans all speak English.

Hungary GP - Results

1. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 708*
2. No Vices Now - 685*
3. Bernie is a Hobbit - 634*
4. Evel Marque - 629*
5= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 585
5= Torque of the Devil - 585
7. The Pitstop Princess - 580
8. Moneyball - 574
9. Even more hopeful - 563*
10. Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 517
11. BOT-RAI-PER - 453*
12. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 447
13. Burn After Racing - 443
14. Hippy F1 - 401*
15. Slightly Slower Racing - 383

*Home track played