Abu Dhabi GP - "Excellent job"

Firstly, apologies for the very late posting.  As some of you are aware, when we pressed play on our recording of the race, all we had was Davis Cup tennis...Had to wait until Monday evening to watch the race downloaded...

I probably would have enjoyed the race more if I had cared more.

Nice

Our new favourite game - "Where would Alonso rather be?"
Double points - I think very few people noticed that it didn't happen this year.
Female aerodynamicist on the podium for Mercedes - hooray.  The first woman on the podium ever???


Naughty

44? - 44th year of UAE but (by bizarre coincidence) also Hamilton's number and his potential win tally.  I smell a conspiracy.
Bottas' pit stop - Williams (or Willys, as Button insisted on calling them) find a new way to sabotage their own race
Alonso's race strategy - "if there isn't a safety car, I will retire".  Definitely a way to save tyres.
Barrichello's black tie T-shirt - there is lots that money cannot buy
Verstappen's new catch phrase - "He pushed me off the track!"  Then he ignored blue flags.
"Strat 6" "Strat 10" - what was this shenanigans Mercedes were doing?

As always, thanks so much to everyone for playing this season.  We have finished with 20 teams, so the top five will be receiving some dosh sooner or later.  If you want me to keep hold of £10 of it for next season, let me know.

Looking forward to reading all your comments about the race below!

Abu Dhabi GP - Final Fantasy F1 Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,534
2. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,519
3. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,517
4. Double Mercedes is boring! - 1,204
5. Go Fast and Prosper - 1,156
6. Mike and the Mechanics - 1,149
7. The F1 Flumps - 1,132
8. Muppet Racing - 1,128
9. Baby on Board - 1,117
10. Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious - 1,093
11. Hippy F1 - 979
12. The Pitstop Princess - 910
13. The Hopefuls - 895
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 835
15. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 782
16. No Vices Now - 730
17. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 718
18. The Very Good Value - 708*
19. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 589*
20. 10CC - 522

* Home track

Brazil GP - "yeah guys, awesome" "strap 30, when you can"

Rosberg won this one at Qualifying and it seems fair to say this was the most boring race since the rein of Vettel.  Was the reason behind this an inability to overtake at Brazil?  (Although points to Verstappen for his overtaking.)  Or was the reason that Hamilton had a fever and crashed his (road) car earlier in the week because he was "tired" (and emotional?)?  The BBC were far too nicey nicey with their coverage and I spent a lot of the race wondering if I would be better informed if I was watching Sky.  The high points were Alonso and Button's podium antics on Saturday and male clapping ladies.  The low points include early departures for Alonso and Sainz and Massa being disqualified for having incorrect something with his tires.  Fingers crossed that Abu Dhabi can bring better.

Brazil GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,448
2. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,433
3. Double Mercedes is boring! - 1,150
4. Go Fast and Prosper - 1,108
5.The F1 Flumps - 1,079
6. Muppet Racing - 1,079
7. Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious - 1,044
8. The Pitstop Princess - 860
9. The Hopefuls - 851
10. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 754
11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 789
12. No Vices Now - 716
13. The Very Good Value - 684
14. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 681
15. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 573
16. 10CC - 514

Mexico GP - "Excellent job"

Tequila

Stadium section  - the atmosphere came through the TV screen
Instructional radio - to Ericcson: "Try and use the new tyre grip in all areas".  To Hamilton: "...Instruction."
226.8mph - Massa on the straight, I can't comprehend driving that first (stop sniggering Baby Pitstop's Change Crew)
Revenge - best served like gazpacho, Bottas gets back at Raikkonen
Slo mo shots - in particular of Rosberg's pit stop.  So much detail to see.
More radio - to Hamilton: "Do you need a flap adjust?"

Worms

Missing qualification - a new low for Button, although he did score 15 points for making the most places up on the grid
Sergiomania - "And Checo takes a sip of water...."
From bad to bratwurst - for Vettel
Sombreros on the podium - a hat too far
Viva Mexico - Mansell runs out of things to say

Mexico GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,362
2. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,347
3. Double Mercedes is boring! - 1,083
4. The F1 Flumps - 1,028
5. Muppet Racing - 1,020
6. Go Fast and Prosper - 990
7. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 986
8. The Hopefuls - 802
9. The Pitstop Princess - 800
10. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 735
11. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 709
12. No Vices Now - 678
13. The Very Good Value - 664
14. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 635
15. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 551
16. 10CC - 485

US GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,276
2. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,261
3. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,259
4. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 1,258
5. Double Mercedes is boring! - 999
6. The F1 Flumps - 977
7. Mike and the Mechanics - 972
8. Baby on Board - 966
9. Muppet Racing - 951
10. Lots of trouble usually serious - 919
11. Go Fast and Prosper - 912
12. Hippy F1 - 817
13. The Hopefuls - 732
14. I blame Clarkson - 722
15. The Pitstop Princess - 714
16. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 680
17. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 656
18. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 624
19. No Vices Now - 611
20. The Very Good Value - 610
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 503
22. 10CC - 445

Orange teams are being disqualified at Mexico unless subs are paid!!!

US GP - "You've only gone and done it mate"

Yeehah

Alaska Coffee Roasting Company - another bizarre sponsorship for Manor?  No, they're the money that Rossi brings!
The return of random radio codes - "Green Cow 3", perhaps a corner?
Restarts - spicing up the racing no end.  The one thing that Rosberg really nailed.
Classic Kimi - Team: "Ready for a new tyres and nose."  Kimi: "okay".
Three drivers leading the race (at least): this is the sort of F1 we like, lots of movement at the front.  And not due to penalties, pit stops, tyres, team orders...

Saddle Sore

Crashing - Sainz: "I crash.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry." (And then walks into the wrong hospitality suite - Manor's.)
Worst possible start - a poor one for Rosberg, followed by a shoving off the track from his team mate
Worst possible ending - a silly mistake for Rosberg and his race, his championship and his manners are gone
Lost noses - two in the first lap
Team collision - Sauber's drivers make the biggest mistake
Losing it all during the first two laps - which team would do a thing like that?  Williams, of course
VSC - unfortunately goes by initials now, meaning it's going to be a fixture, also, how do you know when it's ending?
Lack of experience really starting to show - Kvyat
Frustration - Alonso: "Let's jack it in."  Radio: "No, we're still in the points".  Alonso: "When I not in the points, I come in".  So, he didn't lose tenth place until the last lap.
Awkward cap throwing - for once I think Hamilton was possibly the bigger man
Elton John - ???  Matt le Blanc was there and he is a fan.  Also lots of former drivers.  And professional journalists.  And the lady who sobbed after a selfie with Hamilton.

Russian GP - "What the **** can you do?"

Da

Horner quotes - "Eddie is talking out of his a**e"
Walking free from big crashes - Sainz and Grosjean
Ushankas for the podium - well, the drivers seemed very please with them

Niet

Perry quotes - 15 degrees is "very cool".   Sainz had a "spectacular crash".
Poor qualifying - Kvyat 11th, Massa 15th.  And did it lead to exciting racing as they made their way up through the grid...?
Rosberg out - too early and dashing the chances of a championship climax
Return of the moving chicanes - or, as is says on their garage wall, McLarens
A shame - Sainz and Ricciardo
Raising our hopes - radio to Hamilton: "suspect performance from the rear wing...do not use DRS" - amounted to nothing
Writing "Perez denied Force India's third ever podium" too soon
Raikkonen - boo
Putin the podium room - making it actually less awkward then usual

Russian GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,188
2= Sharks have no bones :) - 1,173
2= DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,173
4. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 1,172
5. Double Mercedes is boring! - 956
6. The F1 Flumps - 942
7. Mike and the Mechanics - 917
8. Baby on Board - 913
9. Muppet Racing - 896*
10. Lots of trouble usually serious - 872
11. Go Fast and Prosper - 867
12. Hippy F1 - 771
13. The Hopefuls - 681
14. I Blame Clarkson - 649
15. The Pitstop Princess - 648
16. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 647
17. No Vices Now - 611
18= Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 608
18= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 608
20. The Very Good Value - 589
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 485
22. 10CC - 441

* Home track

Japan GP - "Absolutely flawless all weekend"

As good as cardboard car hats

Rosberg on pole - hooray
Franz Tost - first time we've seen him.  Extra points if you know who he is!

As slow as a Honda engine

G1 or G3 - McLaren fail to set up a car for qualifying.  New lows.
Massa - just can't catch a break
Rosberg - just can't get the start right
Lap 1 punctures - should spice up a race but really don't
Criticism - Alonso calls his car "embarrassing" (as he was overtaken by a Sauber) and a "GP2 engine" (as he was overtaken by Verstappen)
Hitting the cones - it was a late call into the pits for Sainz Jr. apparently
Battles that aren't for points - what we watched for most of the race.  Something must be wrong in Formula 1.
No hospitality for Lotus - let them eat cake
Japanese tech - lets down the podium interviews
Kai Ebel - dressed like a clown for the podium interviews (click here for a laugh)
Being "happy with the fightback" - all Rosberg could take from the race

Japan GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,130
2. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,123
3. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 1,122
4. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,115
5. Double Mercedes is boring! - 909
6. The F1 Flumps - 890
7. Mike and the Mechanics - 879
8. Baby on Board - 851
9. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 829*
10. Muppet Racing - 820
11. Go Fast and Prosper - 812
12. Hippy F1 - 738
13. The Hopefuls - 644
14. The Pitstop Princess - 620
15. I blame Clarkson - 615
16. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 614
17. No Vices Now - 587
18. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 586
19. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 581
20. The Very Good Value - 553
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 460
22. 10CC - 423

*Home track

Singapore GP - "You're great. You're magic."

Sparkling under the lights

Di Resta presenting on Sky - "turn 11 is followed by turn 12", VERY clammy Scotsman abroad
Exiting the pit lane - presenting the most excitement for most of the race - Massa and Hulkenberg, Alonso and Grosjean
Deception - Toro Rosso were leading us to believe they were having a dreadful race, then...
Mechanical failures - hooray, for Hamilton at last
Overtakes - in particular, Rossi overtaking Hamilton, not what he expected from his first F1 race
Reliability - what could Manor Marussia do if they had this year's Ferrari engine?
Multi 21 - Verstappen doesn't give the position back to Sainz, what you get when you employ a teenager

Down a dark alley

RIP Red Bull? - it's a Ferrari engine or nothing for them next year
Button's retirement - it's McLaren or nothing for him next year
Button's lengthy pitstop - a world record?
Tyre PSI chat - and we didn't think the tyre chat could get any worse
"Try HTT 391" - I struggle to change the radio station whilst driving
Throwing away a golden opportunity to score points - Williams
Man on track - not sure how the Beeb covered this but Sky spent a couple of minutes going "not sure why a safety car has been called...hmm...can't see any reason", whilst a shot of a man walking along the track was aired
Crofty - as Button drove into Maldonado and lost his front wing: "looks like severe front wing damage"!
Throwing away a golden opportunity to score points - in their "third best opportunity to score points this season", McLaren retire from 12th and 14th (what a lot of points they missed out on)
Gearbox problems - ruining or contributing to a great race?

Singapore GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,044
2. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,037
3. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 1,036
4. Sharks have no bones :) - 943
5. Double Mercedes is Boring! - 848
6. The F1 Flumps - 832
7. Mike and the Mechanics - 803
8. Baby on Board - 800
9. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 766
10. Go Fast and Prosper - 759
11. Muppet Racing - 744
12. Hippy F1 - 695
13. The Hopefuls - 601
14. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 574
15. The Pitstop Princess - 566
16. I blame Clarkson - 565
17. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 553
18. No Vices Now - 549
19= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 532
19= The Very Good Value - 532
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 437
22. 10CC - 387

Italy GP - "Don't ask questions. Just execute"

Mighty roar from the crowd

Button in the points for much of the race - what madness is this?
Lapping by Lap 3 - this could make for a more interesting race
Angry Toto - bringing a little excitement to the end of the race
Speaking Italian - Unit 2 Moving Beyond "Thank you" - Massa gives Vettel a lesson

Boos at the podium

Coffee machine bonus - if I was Hulkenberg or even Mehri, I would be expecting more from my F1 career
Taps aff - Verstappen and his Red Bull respond in a very Scottish way to the sunshine
A blonde moment - oh dear
Grid penalties - I agree with Brundle, they should lose points or have some other penalty because this just ruins races
Stalling on the grid - I was out and about on Sunday lunchtime but I was sure I could hear screaming and shouting in the air about 1 o'clock, I should have guessed it was I Monza Brink of Insanity
Out by the third lap - both Lotuses, even the receivers don't want them
Damn the undercut - how did Rosberg overtake Bottas and Massa?
It was all shaping up to be a good race three laps in... - and then it wasn't
Alonso's retirement - and he was a shoo-in for 14th
Fans cheering - as Rosberg's engine blew
Tense moment on the podium - everyone held their breath as we waited to see whether bananas were going to be thrown - Vettel diplomatically stepped in

Italy GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,019
2. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,013
3. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 1,012
4. Sharks have no bones :) - 918
5. Double Mercedes is boring!! - 818
6. The F1 Flumps - 816
7. Mike and the Mechanics - 777
8. Baby on Board - 774
9. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 744
10. Go Fast and Prosper - 728
11. Muppet Racing - 718
12. Hippy F1 - 649
13. The Hopefuls - 581
14. I blame Clarkson - 547
15. The Pitstop Princess - 538
16. No Vices Now - 519
17= I Monza Brink of Insanity - 510*
17= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 510
17= The Very Good Value - 510
20. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 480
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 411
22. 10CC - 367

*Home track

ps. Emails are also going out for non-payment!

Belgium GP - "Top job...beautiful work"

Oui

Skeletons in the closet - Raikkonen must know about Arrivabene's, how else does he have another contract with Ferrari signed so early?
Overtaking - treats from Grosjean, then Kvyat
Kvyat: "It was really good fun today" - at last a racer who enjoys his job

Non

How did Spa get so boring?
Penalties - ruining an interesting grid
Under starter's orders - Hulkenberg was starting, no he's not, yes he is, no, no definitely not...then Sainz
Poor starts - Bottas and Rosberg threw everything way early doors
Mixing up the tyres - from bad to worse for Bottas
Sunshine - another way to ruin Spa
Getting the marigolds on - the marshals get ready to move Ricciardo's car
Bailiffs at the door - things are looking bad for Lotus but then up again with Grosjean's podium ("don't ask me how or why")
"Hyper-exciting" - EJ sounds like your gran taking selfies
Lauda: "Hamilton is unbeatable at the moment" - disappointing news
Tyre chat - more after the race than before for a change - Vettel was swearing and blaming Pirelli for his missing out on a podium finish.  Pirelli insist the tyre blow-outs have been a "third party problem".  Well, isn't this going to be an interesting new forum in F1?

Finally, what is the new starting procedure?

Belgium GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 969
2. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 961
3. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 960
4. Sharks have no bones :) - 868
5. Double Mercedes is Boring! - 759
6. Mike and the Mechanics - 725
7. The F1 Flumps - 720
8. Baby on Board - 719
9. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 692
10. Go Fast and Prosper - 675
11. Muppet Racing - 666
12. Hippy F1 - 603
13. The Hopefuls - 555
14. I blame Clarkson - 522
15. The Pitstop Princess - 505
16. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 483
17. No Vices Now - 447
18. The Very Good Value - 441
19. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 433
20. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 428
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 357
22. 10CC - 328

Hungary GP - "*Italian* *French*"

Exciting Race

Pushing the car - very old skool and against the rules - but shows the right spirit
Excellent overtake - Ricciardo on Bottas
All happening in the pit lane - Grosjean's unsafe release, Hamilton's long stop, lots of speeding
Hamilton's magic engine button - the other drivers don't stand a chance
Kvyat - first podium - and don't forget Verstappen finishing just off the podium
Points for McLaren - at last
Kvyat never gave up - just like a Furchester

Or the "best drivers on the planet" making lots of mistakes?

Jules Bianchi - nothing expresses grief like a hash tag
Stopping short on the grid - Massa gets Williams' race off to a poor start
Blaming Rosberg - Hamilton's response to running off on Lap 1
Excellent overtake - Ricciardo on Bottas
Perez crashing - day after day
Switching it off and on again - Ferrari's response to Raikkonen's loss of power
Scary front wing failures - poor Hulkenberg
Being too pushy at the restart - Hamilton locks up, gets a drive through penalty and then apologises!!!
Puncturing other drivers - Kvyat to Bottas and Ricciardo to Rosberg - booo.  *Chants* Penalty penalty.
Maldonado - seems to be up to his old tricks
"Why are the clapping ladies wearing life jackets?": Go Fast and Prosper - commentary always welcome
Angry pizza? - Arrivabene might need a translator
Honey badger? - refers to Ricciardo apparently

Hungary GP - Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 883
2. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 874
3. HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 873
4. Sharks have no bones :) - 782
5. Double Mercedes is boring! - 694
6. The F1 Flumps - 660
7. Baby on Board - 646
8. Mike and the Mechanics - 638
9. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 624
10. Go Fast and Prosper - 610
11. Muppet Racing - 579
12. Hippy F1 - 559
13. The Hopefuls - 500
14. I blame Clarkson - 475
15. The Pitstop Princess - 458
16. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 425
17. The Very Good Value - 419
18. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 412
19. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 404
20. No Vices Now - 403
21. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 333
22. 10CC - 286