Abu Dhabi GP Race Report

A lot of the talk this weekend and after Qualifying was about Hamilton; all the sympathy is now going to the pit lane reporters at the press pit who are having to try and interview him.  The three way run in this race for the driver's championship was a welcome distraction.

It seemed to be the general consensus that Verstappen would win this race but Norris would win the championship.  No one really thought Piastri was in contention.  As they left the grid for the formation lap, it was seen that drivers were on a variety of strategies with Piastri on hard tyres and Verstappen and Norris on medium.  Some drivers further back had gone for soft too.

Verstappen made a quick start and it almost looked as though Piastri was going to try and get past Norris but he moved across and blocked him off.  Alonso and LeClerc battled behind them furiously.  Piastri held his place for a short while and then he got a slip stream behind Norris and was easily past him.  Russell dropped back.

After four laps, Russell got past Alonso and then Norris had LeClerc right on his tail.  On lap 17, Norris and LeClerc pitted on the same lap.  They were both ahead of Russell though.  Norris was stuck in a DRS train; he got past Antonelli then Sainz (who pitted afterwards), next up was Stroll and I held my breath.  He got past Stroll and Lawson in the same corner, giving everyone a good reason why he should be world champion.  LeClerc repeated the feat though behind him.  Tsunoda was the next driver up and Red Bull were quick to instruct him to hold Norris up, he tersely told them to leave him alone.  Brundle was not happy with this all, considering it to be "verging on unsporting behaviour".  Norris risked everything and went for the overtake.  This was investigated by the stewards: Tsunoda as weaving but Norris left the track.  It was the Red Bull who would be penalised.

By the middle of the race, I felt I was being held hostage to the tyre strategy of the race.  Piastri was due to come in to pit on Lap 41 but LeClerc pitted and Ferrari were directing the McLaren strategy now.  Norris was brought in instead and Verstappen overtook Piastri.  He boxed on the next lap.

With ten laps to go, Verstappen started to panic that LeClerc may not overtake Norris for third place and he would not be getting the championship despite his late efforts.  He got his first warning for exceeding track limits as well.

Norris held on to the end though to clinch his championship.  Verstappen took the win and Piastri was the biggest loser really having thrown it all away at the end of the season.  Norris celebrated with a cry and doughnuts.

Verstappen was being very sweet to Piastri in the cool down room as they awaited Norris, who was interviewed by Coulthard below.  Norris was interviewed twice and got to stay on the podium as long as he liked.  Piastri was let off doing a long interview.  I think everyone was happy with the outcome.  I wonder how different it would have felt if Piastri had won.

Meanwhile it was the last race for Tsunoda, Renault, Sauber, DRS and ground effect cars.  None of them were going to get much attention but perhaps that was the Plan B for the broadcasters if one of the others won.  We will see what next year brings.  The rise of Verstappen?  A surprise team that excels with the new regulations?  Some jazzy new graphics for TV coverage?

Abu Dhabi GP Qualifying Report

The last ten races at this circuit had been won from pole position.  This was the most important Saturday of the season.

The weekend had got off to a better start for some than others.  Norris, Piastri and Verstappen had fielded many, many questions about their championship hopes.  Also under scrutiny was Hamilton, who then spun out of nowhere in Free Practice 3 and smashed his Ferrari nose-first into the tyre wall.

It was a fairly boring first Qualifying session until after the Chequered Flag was waved and Albon was knocked out followed by Hamilton (who was knocked out by Bortoleto).   The five drivers out were Hamilton, Albon (not how either of them would want to end the year, with their team mate in the top ten), Hulkenberg, Gasly and Colapinto.  The Alpine drivers will be praying the team gets the regulation changes right next year.

The second session was even more boring.  Fastest was Russell, then Verstappen and Norris.  Out went Bearman, Sainz, Lawson, Antonelli and Stroll.  Apart from Sainz, all the others were bested by their teammates who went through, Ocon putting in a very good lap in his Haas to be ninth.

Gloves were off for the final session.  Red Bull sacrificed Tsunoda to give Verstappen a tow down the straight which helped him set a quick lap to be in first position at the end of the first set of laps.  Norris could not get his groove back around the track and left himself in a poor position for the final push.  Piastri's lap kept him second until Norris took it from him.  Verstappen was putting in an even quicker time behind them.  Russell tried his hardest to take it but was fourth.  Behind them was LeClerc, Alonso, Bortoleto, Ocon, Hadjar and Tsunoda (who didn't set a time).

Verstappen had given himself the best possible chance of winning the championship.    There are lots of different permutations and calculations to figure out who will take the crown and number one on their car next season.  I'm sure the commentators will keep us up to speed.

Abu Dhabi GP Race Report

All the attention was on Lewis Hamilton and his last race with Mercedes in Abu Dhabi.  It was the last race of their career for Zhou, Bottas and Magnussen (and possibly Colapinto), who received less attention.  A fair deal of attention was on Brad Pitt's film, it was their last race too.

There seemed to be some extra penalties applied over night but because of the nostalgia-fest if was very hard to see what they were.  We were also treated to Will.I.Am and Jackie Stewart DJing.  Hulkenberg was given a penalty for something during Qualifying and his team mate Magnussen did a practice start before the race somewhere he shouldn't have and would be investigated and penalised after the race.  Surely the stewards could have found time before the race started.

Ferrari were on the back foot vis-a-vis the championship with LeClerc starting at the back of the grid.  Initially it looked like a clean start when the lights went out but Piasti and Verstappen touched unnecessarily and both spun, each to one side of the track.  This put Norris out front, with Sainz behind, then Gasly.  LeClerc was up to 12th then Perez spun and a couple more cars came together.  There was a high chance of a Safety Car at this track.  It was the McLaren of Piasti now at the back.  Perez came together with Bottas and was left stranded on the track, a Virtual Safety Car was set.

Then Piastri drove into the back of Colapinto, giving him a puncture.  The McLaren came in but did not get a new wing just tyres, possibly to see him through to the end of the race.

Verstappen was given a 10 second penalty for his early incident, which was fairly clear from the overhead shot.  Piastri's radio as he spun was replayed: "Move of a world champion, that one."  Bottas was also given 10 seconds for taking Perez out.  Then...10 seconds for Piastri for hitting Colapinto.

Magnussen had a very slow stop to continue his unfortunate last race.  Zhou also got a last race penalty, for a false start.  Clearly, everyone was tired and not operating at full potential.  Racing Bulls did not put Lawson's tyres on properly at his first pit stop.  Williams ended an awful season retiring Colapinto.

Verstappen made an annoyed comment to his team after taking his 10 second penalty during his stop.  I felt it was unclear whether he was criticising the time it took his team or the stewards but it wasn't necessary.  It really confirmed all the comments Russell reported.

Bottas locked up and went into Magnussen, ruining both their final races and leaving a lot of debris.  Bottas was out but Magnussen limped on although he went on to set the fastest lap but wouldn't get the point for it because he didn't finish in the top 10.  It said, "What next?" on the top of Valteri's helmet.

Rookie Doohan had a good race; he didn't crash into anyone or worse.

With 11 laps to go, Piastri had a big off to avoid crashing, he was looking ragged too.

It looked like it was going to end Norris, Sainz, LeClerc.  Could Ferrari do anything to take the championship by getting Norris to drop back even one place?  The panicking started: LeClerc thought his tyres were graining too much and then Sainz thought he had run over debris and got a puncture.

With 3 laps to go, Albon had fallen out of the points unfortunately.  Let's hope next year sees better results for the team with the arrival of Sainz and Vowles being deeper embedded.  On the last lap, Lawson stopped somewhere on track with an engine fire.  His car was rolling downhill.  Hamilton was hoping to overtake his team mate on this lap but the Yellow Flags were hindering him.

The fireworks heralded Norris the race winner, he drove cleanly and triumphantly.  The Ferraris of Sainz and LeClerc were behind him; they could not have done more to try and win it (well, not needed to change LeClerc's battery).  The mechanics of both teams congratulated each other in the pit lane.  Hamilton snatched 4th place from Russell in the last couple of corners.  Rounding out the top ten was Verstappen, Gasly, Hulkenberg for his last race for Haas, Alonso (who it feels should be going somewhere or retiring but ploughs on) and Piastri.

Hamilton did doughnuts on the pit straight.  It was a long wait for the interviews and the podium, in fact it seemed very poorly planned.  We head into 2025 with some intrigue and I wonder what Drive to Survive will make of it all?

Abu Dhabi GP Qualifying Report

There was old news and new news going into the final race event of the 2024 season.  It would Hamilton's last race for Mercedes before he heads to Ferrari.  I assume that Ocon, Bottas, Magnussen, Colapinto and Zhou will be getting similar coverage in their nation's output as they leave F1.  This weekend will also decide the Constructors' Championship between Ferrari and McLaren.  The new news is that Ocon was told his services would not be required by Alpine this weekend and they would prefer to run their new driver Jack Doohan in the car instead.  LeClerc would be taking a 10 place grid penalty and both Williams would be moved back 5 places, all for changing parts.

The track improved so much that it came down to the last person over the line before the Chequered Flag came down in the first Qualifying session.  There was a big queue in the pit lane which hampered things too.  Extraordinarily, Bottas finished 2nd but out went Albon, Zhou, his old team mate Hamilton, Colapinto and Doohan in his first ever F1 Qualifying.  Magnussen had knocked a bollard down which Hamilton ran over and it was completely stuck under the chassis.

In the second session, all the drivers set a first time.  Verstappen was happy enough with his first place position that he got out of the car, whilst all the other drivers queued up in the pit lane.  He lost the place to LeClerc but the lap was deleted as he went off the track limits.  This was disastrous for Ferrari.  Bottas went 9th to get through to the final session for the first time this season.  Also notable was Hulkenberg in 3rd and Gasly in 4th.  Out went Tsunoda, Lawson, Stroll, LeClerc and Magnussen.  

From the excitement in the commentator's voice, you would have thought that the drivers' first set of fast laps was the main times set.  Verstappen won the first round, then got himself in the best position by being the last over the line so the last driver to set the last time.  With thirty seconds to go, Hulkenberg took pole.  He didn't hold it for long.  Norris took pole, with Piastri next to him, setting the McLarens up well for the Constructors' battle.  Sainz took third in his last Qualifying lap for Ferrari.  After that was Hulkenberg because Verstappen did not put anything near a good lap together when he needed to.  Completing the top ten was Gasly, Russell (hero to zero and right behind the man he's been exchanging fighting talk with all week), Alonso, Bottas and Perez.  I think we can all now expect an announcement from Red Bell as he couldn't out-qualify a Sauber.

Toto Wolff was very angry with the team's performance but everyone else seemed happy enough with where they were.  It seems likely that Verstappen will come through to win the race but it feels too close to call with the Constructors' Championship.  It's been such a long season but it feels unreal that it's over so soon.

Abu Dhabi GP Race Report

At last, the final race of the season.  Several drivers had complained they had reached this point tired and sick.

Everyone lined up cleanly.  LeClerc made a good start, with Verstappen going aggressive to stay ahead, cutting him off.  The McLarens made it up to 3rd and 4th.    LeClerc battled to get past and Verstappen moved his Red Bull decisively, cutting him off and after two laps, he was more than a second ahead.  Tsunoda held his 6th place and Sainz was up to 13th from 17th.  Albon fell to 18th, Perez also lost out.

On lap 5, Norris made the crucial pass on his team mate; firmly cementing his 2023 reputation as someone who cannot put a qualifying lap together but knows how to race.  On Lap 11, Russell got past Piastri to finally get back to his starting position of 4th.  The Australian was immediately under pressure from Tsuonda, as Perez got past Gasly.

The first round of pit stops came early, led by Piastri.  Russell got past Norris in these as McLaren had a problem.  Hamilton and Gasly had a racing incident, with the Mercedes coming off worse.

The hard tyres worked really well initially, with the rest of the field all having pitted a few laps later.  Verstappen came out of it a couple of seconds ahead of LeClerc and Russell charged through the pack.  Both Williams were running last.  Gasly was fuming that they played the undercut so his team mate Ocon over took him.  The headline of this phase was Tsunoda leading the race for several laps.

When the second round of pit stops started, with Ocon returning to the garage to get him wheel tightened,  Norris got a clean stop.  Russell's undercut didn't work, with LeClerc coming out ahead of him.

The drivers continued to battle.  Perez and Norris came together, with Norris being crashed into and forced off the track.  Perez was given a 5 second penalty.  Hamilton, then Gasly, were both investigated for pit stop infringements, which turned out to be because the pit crew didn't have their helmet visors down.  LeClerc schemed to back Russell into Perez if they needed to swap the order for the Constructors Championship position.  In the end, he didn't need any help and got past Russell easily as the Mercedes driver was a little sleepy at the end of the long season.

A lot was decided behind race winner Verstappen, who doughnutted to finish: Mercedes beat Ferrari to 2nd place in the championship, Williams secured 7th, Alonso fourth ahead of LeClerc and Norris, Gasly outscored Ocon, Tsunoda outscored Ricciardo but by only by 11 points in 6 races.  LeClerc finishing 5th really doesn't reflect his season of pole to possible podiums/possible crashes.  Of the bottom four teams, Albon was the highest scoring driver, 26 points ahead of his team mate.  Sargeant did beat someone in the championship, the forgotten De Vries.

Verstappen showed himself to be a man of the people by warmly and lengthily embracing his sweaty mechanics.  Tsunoda got Driver of the Day, which was heartwarming.

And the season closes.  97 days until the next one.  I'll be back with a Drive to Survive review, although I think it will underwhelmingly focus on De Vries being dropped and the questions over Perez' position.  Enjoy the rest and pray Newey has forgotten anything he has ever learnt about how to design a car.

Abu Dhabi GP Qualifying Report

It was a long time before anyone came out to start the final Qualifying event of the season.  It was Perez out first, who trailed a number of others.  It became apparent that track limits would be an issue for some drivers, with lap times being deleted, notably Sargeant who didn't set a time on the complete track at all.  Having had some wobbles over the weekend, Red Bull were proved to be sandbagging in Q1 as Verstappen and Perez were first and second.  The Ferraris had looked very strong but Sainz was out in 16th (having had two big shunts over the last 8 days), blaming traffic, in front of Magnussen, Bottas, Zhou and Sargeant.

Again, in Q2, Verstappen was through in first.  There were more shocks lower down though, with Hamilton out in 11th, then Ocon, Stroll, Albon and Ricciardo.  Tsunoda, Alonso, Gasly and Russell were through, so teams were divided between Q1 and Q2.  It was a shame for Williams as they were showing strong in practice.

In the final Qualifying session, the only team looking to compete with the Red Bulls was McLaren.  This was Norris's final chance of the year to pip his pal to pole.  With a huge slide, he lost out in the final sector and not only didn't take pole but lost the front row to his team mate.  In the dying seconds, LeClerc took second, with Perez unable to get close to his team mate and coming in 5th, then 6th as Russell jumped him before having his time deleted and finished 9th.  Verstappen held pole followed by LeClerc, Piastri, Russell, Norris, Tsunoda, Alonso, Hulkenberg, Perez and Gasly.  Over team radio we found out that Red Bull supremo Helmut Marko had bet against Team Principal, Christian Horner that Verstappen wouldn't make the front row - what confidence!

In the press pen, LeClerc was determined to get second in the Constructors Championship.  His opposition, Hamilton, was done with the season and clearly wanted to get away on holiday.  Norris continues to be frustrated that he makes these mistakes and "ruins" his chances.  He thought he had the pace for pole.

Abu Dhabi GP Race Report

The last race of the season is always a race of lasts.  Gasly got a guard of honour as he left the Alpha Tauri garage for the last time.  Vettel wore a helmet with photos of his supporters. Ricciardo had all his family with him.   Williams explained how to make the racey car go vroom vroom please no crash to Latifi.

Everyone was clean away at the start, I feel everyone has improved greatly this season in this respect.  Hamilton continued to have awful luck in Abu Dhabi as Sainz tapped him off the track.  He came back on track in front of the Ferrari and was finally made to give the place back.  By Lap 9, Russell asked, as he seems to do most races, if he was free to race his team mate.  Once confirmed, he was straight past him.

Mercedes are keen to pamper Hamilton as they gave Russell a 5.something second pit stop and then released him into the path of his friend Norris.  He was given a 5 second penalty for this.  There were a few slow stops, including Verstappen and the departing Vettel (his last pit stop?).

Alonso took the last bad luck as he retired for his last race with Alpine, on this stint has a race driver with the Enstone-based team.   Latifi and Schumacher finished as they started and continued by crashing into each other.  Vettel finished the race asking: "How did we get the strategy so wrong?"

With 3 laps to go, Hamilton lost all sort of functions on his car, pitting and retiring.  He could have brought out a safety car to finish the Abu Dhabi race with a bang, as is traditional.  

Verstappen had an easy win; not even a little panic about something not feeling right on the car.  LeClerc took second place, with Perez behind him and taking second place in the championship.  Vettel scored one point for finishing 10th and Ricciardo scored two for finishing 9th.

There were doughnuts all round.

Abu Dhabi GP Qualifying Report

The big news at the event was mostly about those leaving the paddock: Vettel, with everyone celebrating his career, Ricciardo, potentially heading to a third driver job at Red Bull travelling full circle, Schumacher, who turned out to be too expensive despite the sponsorship money he brought and Latifi, unmentioned really.  Where were the Latifi tribute helmets?

Latifi's last qualifying session was the first session and he was out plum last.  Schumacher was out in the second Qualifying session.  Alonso was happy with 11th, I think his expectation of his soon-to-be-ex team was very low.

In the third session, Vettel finished 9th with Ricciardo behind him and due to take a 3 place penalty.  At the front, it was two Red Bulls, then two Ferraris, then 2 Mercedes.  There are plenty of people still fighting for points or to prove a point in the race, so it could be explosive.

Abu Dhabi GP Race Report

The Decider in the Desert.  It's only live once.  Channel 4 stumped up a few million to broadcast the whole race live.  Sky spent the big bucks getting Rosberg, Button, Hill plus Brundle.  All the coverage was on Verstappen and Hamilton, not even much on Horner and Wolff or Red Bull and Mercedes.  It was more like a boxing match than a race.  Norris in third was briefly touched upon.  If the championship had been decided the week before, it would have been all about Raikkonen (and Giovinazzi) leaving Formula 1 and Bottas' and Russell's last race for their current teams.  Raikkonen was wearing a throw-back helmet from his McLaren years.  Giovinazzi was wearing a throw-back helmet from Raikkonen's Ferrari years.  Which speaks volumes about his F1 career.

Bottas gave Hamilton a hug after the anthem.  Norris said he was "going to go for it".  Not sure for what.  Lando, someone has to be third.  Disappearing into nowhere, we found that Mazepin wouldn't be taking part in the race, having tested positive for Covid.

Norris lost "it" at start and several places, running wide.  It was not to be his best race.  Everyone will be hoping that McLaren come back stronger next year.

The start was clean, with Hamilton taking the lead from second.  Then the gloves came off at Turn 9 with Verstappen pushing hard and Hamilton running off.  Initially it looked like Hamilton would have to give the place back.  However, Mercedes believed that Hamilton hadn't gained a lasting advantage.   They had touched briefly and it was unclear whether this would have a lasting impact.  The stewards made a quick decision: no investigation necessary.  Blood boiled around the world.

On to lap 14, Verstappens gambles and pits to put on hard tires, that they've never run before.  It was predicted to be his one and only stop.

Six laps later, Perez did what he could as the team mate with the most to offer.  There was a tremendous battle (all thoughts of Tsunoda or Alonso defence gone) with the lead going back and forth between himself and Hamilton.  When Verstappen caught them up, Perez was called a "legend" and an "absolute animal".  

Raikkonen went rallying with a slide, spin and tapping the wall.  He got it back to the pits but had to turn the engine off on his final race.  The footage from his pit was longest we've been off-track in a  very long time.  Whilst he was retiring, Russell lost power in his Williams and came back to the pits via the run offs and also retired.

The dice was rolled again when Giovinazzi retired his Alfa Romeo at the corner of turn 9 and a Virtual Safety Car was called.  Hamilton did not come in to pit and both Red Bulls did for fresh tires.  They had nothing to lose as they were not in the lead of the drivers or constructors championships.

We got to enjoy a lot of helmet cam - during the race, this time installed in LeClerc's hat, particularly during his battle with Bottas and in the pit exit, which looked very scary, tighter than a 70s concrete car park.

It looked like it was game over for the Red Bull camp.  Horner said, "we will need a miracle in these last 10 laps".  Then came a slow puncture and a pit stop for Norris, caused by the curbs.  His mum and dad, who were at the race, are clearly not a good luck charm for him.  Hamilton was then warned to keep off the curbs, just in case.  Would this be the miracle?  No.

With 5 laps to go, Latifi put his Williams into the barriers and across the track as the consequence of another championship decided by a Schumacher smash.  Just as the safety car was called, Verstappen came in for tires and Hamilton was told to stay out.  There was one long swear over the radio from Hamilton.  He would have lost track position if he came in.  Now the audience waited on tenterhooks to see if there would be any more racing, with Max starting on fresh tires right behind Lewis or would the race (and championship) conclude behind the safety car?

Perez came into the pits for a fourth time, giving Sainz a podium.  No reason given but it sounded pretty urgent.

Then the miracle came, the lapped cars were not going to be allowed to unlap themselves, which played right into Hamilton's hands.  Then Masi made a decision, the cars in between Hamilton and Verstappen would be allowed past and the safety car was to end straight away.  Hamilton backed the pack right up, almost trying to force Verstappen to overtake him, which would result in a penalty for Max.  The Dutchman pushed him all the way to the line and got past.  Yes, it was aggressive.  Yes, it was hard racing.  The last lap was exquisite racing, literally edge-of-the-seat But it was the race of a champion and a champion he is.

Hamilton looked very lonely heading to the podium.  Everyone was Max's pal, they're all more like his age.  Then Vettel and Schumacher came over to give him a hug.  Having had a bit of Angie-time, Lewis approached Max and congratulated him.  Max then praised Perez as such a supportive team mate, which is more than Lewis had this year.  Verstappen made a very eloquent speech after the podium about how you hope for points, podiums, wins but you hope when they play the anthem it's for you.

Mercedes made two protests, both of which were rejected by the stewards.  Masi: "Toto, that's called motor racing."   Michael Masi has become the Alistair Campbell of F1, he shouldn't be the story but he is.  In the end, he did allow the drivers to race.

On to final thoughts...Vettel, Alonso and Raikkonen were the drivers who had made the most overtakes this season.  Experience over car performance.  Alex Albon was seen talking to Geri Horner in front of the podium; does he know about her previous career?  It's a sign of how popular he is amongst F1 fans world wide as Raikkonen was named Driver of the Day, decided by a phone-in.

Predictions for the future?  Many many Angry Toto memes.  Possible court action.  Mass Covid outbreak in the F1 community as a result of a lot of hugging post-race.  There will be a squad of children in a third world country all wearing Hamilton 2021 championship winner T-shirts.

Abu Dhabi GP Qualifying Report

 Good news if you're a Kelly Piquet fan, see also Christan Horner or Toto Wolff.  All eyes are pretty much on 4 men this weekend with the occasional nod to Raikkonen, Russell or even, maybe, Giovinnazi.

On to Qualifying and there was bollards on the track.  Bit like the last race.  The Red Flag was put out.  Bit like the last race.  Mercedes were dominant in the first session.  With Tsunoda and Gasly doing very well.  At the bottom end, both Haas, both Williams (Mr Saturday no more) and Raikkonen's Alfa Romeo all predictably out.

The second session was a parade as well.  The only interest was when Verstappen flat-spotted his tire, which was his race tire.  A lot of cars went out at the end of the session, which may have caused an incident of note, but no.  The only surprise was Gasly out in 12th.

The third and final session was also fairly dull.  As Hamilton crossed the line, he was unable to do better than second and the crowd roared.  Bottas and Perez were unable to make the top 3, with Norris in third with an excellent performance.  Red Bull worked hard for that pole, with the perfect slip stream set up from Perez.

With the race and championship leaning in Hamilton's favour, this was the result that we all needed and wanted.  Obviously we were aware that the stewards could find anything overnight to ruin it.

Abu Dhabi GP - Championship Results

1. Evel Marque - 1,123
2. Je suis Charlie - 1,105
3. PickedInAHurry - 1,048
4. The Hope Fulls - 1,043
5. BottHaas - 1,010
6. Jack the Lad - 878
7. The Pitstop Princess - 792
8. Hippy F1 - 738
9. Ferrari Rocher - 714
10. Francesco Bernoulli - 544

Abu Dhabi GP - "What a way to see out 2018"

I watched this race live *gasp* with Wheels on Fire.  Our agreed predictions were that Hamilton would win and Alonso would be retired by Lap 10.
Lap 1 didn't go our way, with Hulkenberg "hanging like a cow" out of his topsy turvy car.  The first, worrying glimpse that the Halo might not be the answer to all F1's safety concerns.  Sam Smith and Geri Spice managed to look suitably shocked for the cameras.
No Ocon/Verstappen clashes to spice up the race this Sunday.  Ocon "knows what Max is like" now and the future of F1 continues to be that Hamilton will get older, Vettel will be even older and make even more geriatric mistakes until Ferrari put him out to pasture and Verstappen will have scared all his rivals into fearing a crash whenever they are near him and so he glides uncontested to 10 championships back to back.
Then the farewells started.  Old Man Raikkonen, whom Ferrari can't quite let go of, came to a graceful stop on Lap 7.  Post-race, he commented that he's not really leaving.  With Sauber and Hass both propping up the Ferrari empire, the only hope for defeating Verstappen is that they continue to subsume all the other teams until F1 is basically Verstappen versus Ferrari and, each race, one driver is chosen to fight back and wound the flying Dutchman, leaving Vettel to take the victory.  It's what Schumacher would have wanted.
It's the end of the 2018 season, I am clearly feeling apocalyptic.
Lap 10 saw the departing Hartley bash the barrier and survive, which is a metaphor for his F1 career.  I don't know why he wasn't brutally withdrawn Kvyat-style earlier in the season to make way for Red Bull's latest fetus driver.
Mid-race, our old friend The Rain was on the horizon but felt the race was just spicy enough to stay away.
Ocon retired on Lap 47, which reminded everyone that Alonso was still battling on.  Still there was a on oil leak on the next lap - but for Gasly!  It even sprayed itself all over Verstappen, compromising his vision.  It didn't get the memo that Fernando was still racing.
So the season ends with Hamilton taking his top off, for no apparent reason but I suspect he was gesturing to something he had indelibly marked on his back.  And Alonso was Driver of the Day.  He pedalled all the way to the end.  Will he be back?  Will he win the triple crown?  Will his progress be more exciting that watching Hamilton/Vettel/Verstappen in 2019?

Always leave them wanting more.

Abu Dhabi GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly! - 1,161
2. Two world champions... - 1,138
3. Maximum Attack! - 1,127
4. Evel Marque - 1,126
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 903
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 885
7. The Hopefulls - 835
8. No Vices Now - 807
9. The Pitstop Princess - 683
10. Halo, baby! - 676
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 655
12. Wheels on Fire - 606
13. Hippy F1 - 592
14. Jack Johnson - 580

Abu Dhabi GP - "Thank you very much for everything"

Prior to the race, Alonso admitted he was pretty happy for this to be his last Honda-powered race.  I think a few folk around were demob happy.

I really enjoyed the amazing driving displayed...in the pre-race aeronautical display.

As for the race itself, I think that must have been as much airtime for Stroll as he has had all year.  And Bottas must be wondering why he barely featured.  He drove a faultless race, driving Hamilton to make an error on Lap 31.  If Mercedes continue to be dominant next season, hopefully he can bring the fight.

Despite a wheel falling off their wagon, Renault finished sixth in the championship.  I'm not sure why Williams didn't receive any love for finishing higher that that.  Or McLaren any criticism for finishing below Haas.

To finish the season, Bottas and Hamilton celebrated with one of my favourites...doughnuts.

(For comments on Massa's retirement, please refer to the 2016 season.)

Abu Dhabi GP - Results

1. Moneyball - 1,186
2. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 1,177
3. No Vices Now - 1,174
4. Hoping for an Indian Summer - 1,088
5. The Pitstop Princess - 1,085
6. Evel Marque - 1,084
7. Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 1,083
8. Even more hopeful - 1,066
9. Bernie is a hobbit - 1,055
10. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 887
11. Burn After Racing - 883
12. BOT-RAI-PER - 776
13. Slightly Slower Racing - 751
14. Hippy F1 - 703

Money in the post to the top three!

Abu Dhabi - "We did it"

It was all looking positive from the very good plane smoke display put on by the race host.  There was nothing big at the start, which I didn't mind for once.  At least we didn't know the outcome of the race/championship by Lap 2.

Mercedes were playing it very cautious, giving the audience some worries during their very long first pit stops.  I say very long, 3.6 seconds for Hamilton on Lap 7 and 4.8 seconds for Rosberg on Lap 9.  Also - first pit stops on Lap 7!

Button showed the world why he's quitting F1 with his steering failure on Lap 12.  He sounded relieved.  And drunk during his post-race interview.

There was a lot of (unnecessary) tyre chat during the race.  When did Karun Chandok become an expert?  I'm not sure I believe anything he says.

On Lap 17, Kvyat showed us where his career is going when he got on his bike to go back to the pits.

It started to get a bit racy by Lap 20, everything was crossed that Verstappen wouldn't do anything silly when Rosberg went for the overtake.  Anytime Verstappen got in the mix, you were put on the edge.

I then have no notes until Lap 44, when Vettel became an "imminent threat".  The stewards finally got involved in the race on the next lap with Palmer.

We saw inside the Mercedes ICT support room a couple of time during the race.  I'm not sure what this added to our viewing pleasure.  The atmosphere was as electric as a Tuesday afternoon at the Hymans Robertson office.

As ever, there was a little something thrown in for the conspiracy theorists.  Was "41.5" a code for Hamilton?

It was a great end to a race and a season.  When Vettel overtook Verstappen on Lap 51 there were some tense laps.  Put out to Pastor commented on that the "reign of terror is over".  The Channel 4 coverage was so different from the BBC, there was no fawning and it did seem to reveal that perhaps Rosberg is the drivers' choice of driver.  Then there were lots of doughnuts.

This led to lots of lovely moments.  The coverage of the mums was nice.  How normal is Mama Hamilton (where was Dad?)?  I can't imagine her sitting down to a roast with Sh*tsinger.  Rosberg did get his anthem on the podium, thanks to the skewed nationality rules.  Rob Smedley had brought his family to the race, very cute.

Then Hamilton trotted out his spiel about how good the crowd is at this track.

Coulthard promised us "faster, wider, louder cars" next year.  I think I have finally cracked this Fantasy F1 lark, after decades of trying.  Crack open the rose water.

Abu Dhabi GP & Championship Results

1 (at last). The Pitstop Princess - 1,246
2. Weak End of Bernie - 1,211
3. Merc-redible Hulk - 1,098
4.Halo, it's me - 1,085
5. Hippy F1 - 1,062
6. Claire has to type out this sentence each time as my team name - 1,022
7. Three teams, one dream - 1,007
8. BogOffBernie - 996
9. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 911
10. The Hopefuls - 900
11. No Vices Now - 795
12. The Maranello Marvels - 760
13. Marian's Marvels - 695
14. Indiana Walker and the Tyres of Doom - 639
15. British Racing Green - 622
16. Put out to Pastor - 402

Abu Dhabi GP - "Excellent job"

Firstly, apologies for the very late posting.  As some of you are aware, when we pressed play on our recording of the race, all we had was Davis Cup tennis...Had to wait until Monday evening to watch the race downloaded...

I probably would have enjoyed the race more if I had cared more.

Nice

Our new favourite game - "Where would Alonso rather be?"
Double points - I think very few people noticed that it didn't happen this year.
Female aerodynamicist on the podium for Mercedes - hooray.  The first woman on the podium ever???


Naughty

44? - 44th year of UAE but (by bizarre coincidence) also Hamilton's number and his potential win tally.  I smell a conspiracy.
Bottas' pit stop - Williams (or Willys, as Button insisted on calling them) find a new way to sabotage their own race
Alonso's race strategy - "if there isn't a safety car, I will retire".  Definitely a way to save tyres.
Barrichello's black tie T-shirt - there is lots that money cannot buy
Verstappen's new catch phrase - "He pushed me off the track!"  Then he ignored blue flags.
"Strat 6" "Strat 10" - what was this shenanigans Mercedes were doing?

As always, thanks so much to everyone for playing this season.  We have finished with 20 teams, so the top five will be receiving some dosh sooner or later.  If you want me to keep hold of £10 of it for next season, let me know.

Looking forward to reading all your comments about the race below!

Abu Dhabi GP - Final Fantasy F1 Results

1. Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 1,534
2. Sharks have no bones :) - 1,519
3. DC's Tighty Whiteys - 1,517
4. Double Mercedes is boring! - 1,204
5. Go Fast and Prosper - 1,156
6. Mike and the Mechanics - 1,149
7. The F1 Flumps - 1,132
8. Muppet Racing - 1,128
9. Baby on Board - 1,117
10. Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious - 1,093
11. Hippy F1 - 979
12. The Pitstop Princess - 910
13. The Hopefuls - 895
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 835
15. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 782
16. No Vices Now - 730
17. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 718
18. The Very Good Value - 708*
19. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 589*
20. 10CC - 522

* Home track

Abu Dhabi GP - "Woo hoo...world champion, I can't believe it"

Hooray

Access all areas - Rosberg was allowed backstage to congratulate Hamilton.  A little moment of love shared.  How unlike FoM.
Contentious doughnuts - from Hamilton
Caterham - made it to Abu Dhabi, now we are waiting for our merch
Bottas - third in the drivers' championship
Not giving up - a lesson from Rosberg to many other drivers
Yachts - yes please
Face cam - especially good showing the moments of radio from Rosberg
The podium - a Williams double and the world champion got a spot too
Double points made no difference
 
Expecting better next year...

Contentious doughnuts - permission denied to Rosberg
Old school fire - from Maldonado
Tweeting - desperate tweets from Mercedes to fix Rosberg's car, I don't think this was the best use of resources in this case
Superimposed graphics - I'm sure Lewis appreciated seeing he was on course to win the championship lap after lap
If the race finishes now... - started 14 laps in
Losing hope - would the start replay show that Hamilton had jumped it?  Will he get a poor pitstop?
Poor starts - Bottas and Rosberg
Alonso/Button battle - we barely saw one move of this battle between champions
Prince Harry on the radio - bizarre?

Lastly, thanks everyone for playing this year.  I'll offer an enormous apology for the erratic and often late posts (I'm not taking any responsibility for this and entirely blaming Baby Pitstop) and look forward to seeing where testing leaves us in February.