Australia GP Race Report

I don't think there were any huge shocks in Qualifying.   Yes, Verstappen spun out in the first session but he had been complaining about the revised sport for a while.  We knew Mercedes were very strong and Ferrari and were doing well too.  The whole championship seems to be Russell's to lose.

No one had any educated guesses about what was going to happen in the race and there were huge questions over reliability.  And it was proven so...home track hero, Piastri had to radio to the team that he was okay after crashing out on his way to line up on the grid, smashing into the wall.  He went into the wall and took the front wing and nose clean off.

A couple of cars were starting from the pit lane and then Hulkenberg had radio problems and his card was returned to the pits.  It was a new starting procedure to enable the new electrics to work at their most efficient.  I thought the lights almost went off for the race start before all five had come on.  It seemed to catch some drivers out.  LeClerc commented on this after the race.  Hadjar nearly had Russell before he'd even put his foot to the throttle but LeClerc made it past easily.  His team mate Antonelli went back several places because he had no battery.  Lindblad got an amazing start and, after jostling with Hadjar, ended up fourth.  Everyone had said that Ferrari had a strong start mechanism.

It was hard to tell which passes used the electrics because it was fast and furious as they were close from the starting grid.  Russell and LeClerc got away from the pack, Hamilton hung back a little but still had a gap to the rest of the pack.  Lap after lap the front runnering two overtook each other and got the place back whilst Hamilton watched on.  When Russell locked up, he pounced.  Meanwhile, Verstappen was coming up through the pack and was in 10th place on the 10th lap then his team mates' engine went up in smoke.  It was a great time to pit under the Virtual Safety Car.  Lots of cars came in.

I noticed that Hulkenberg did not make the start.  Alonso had to stop his car.  The first retirement was Bottas who pulled his Cadillac onto the side of the track and there was another Virtual Safety Car.  Hamilton was firing instructions at his team for their tyre strategy.

There were fights further back too, including old rivals Gasly and Ocon.

Ferrari did not stop under either Virtual Safety Car and they had to pit during regular racing.  Alonso came back out onto the track with car/body fixed.  Whatever was happening with the nerve damage to the Aston Martin drivers' fingers, it seemed to have been resolved for the race.

On lap 38, another Virtual Safety Car was called to allow the marshals to pick up a bit of Perez' Cadillac; it was a little dicey.  At this time, Verstappen was now on Norris's tail and he pitted to avoid the competition.

Having come back out, Alonso pitted and retired as did Stroll.  Then Stroll was back out.  Aston Martin were doing the Hokey-Cokey.

Really Ferrari lost the win because they did not put under Virtual Safety Car conditions; they will need to start listening to Lewis.  Russell took a well-deserved first place and Antonelli capitalised on Ferrari's mistake for second.  LeClerc was ahead of Hamilton behind them.  Wolff looked very relieved.  Norris was fifth and Verstappen sixth.  Bearman took a good seventh, four places ahead of his team mate Ocon.  Lindblad scored points for eighth place on his first F1 race and Bortoleto handled the Audi well for ninth.  Gasly beat the slowly-diminishing Ocon for tenth.  It wasn't a good sign that Williams were 12th and 15th.

There were seventeen finishers including Stroll who was several laps down.  I wonder if much can be done before the next race weekend in seven days time and which features a Sprint qualifying and race too.  The drivers have a better idea what they are facing but the teams have little time to make changes.  Russell, Antonelli and LeClerc seem happy with what they have but how quickly can other teams and drivers catch them up?

Australia GP Race Report

The Brits were having a lovely time down under, talking about the rain.  The drivers put in a lot of laps before stopping on the straight to get a feel for the wet track.  Only Hamilton went out on Intermediate tyres; everyone else was on wets.  Bearman and Ocon had spins.  It looked pretty grim for the drivers and dignitaries stood on a small platform for the anthem.  A rolling start had been predicted but it was barely raining when the start came.

Hadjar, having got his Racing Bull into a starting position of 11th, just outside the top 10, spun on the formation lap and knocked his rear wing almost off.  That was one rookie out of the race.  He had a little cry at the side of the track.  Still crying as he got back to the pit, Lewis Hamilton's dad smelt a whiff of publicity and greeted the greeting boy to put a hand on his shoulder.

At the end of the 2nd formulation lap, it was time to go for real.  Lawson and Bearman were making starts from the pit lane but it seemed a safer option on this day.  Norris was quick to start pulling out a lead, with no spray in his face.  Verstappen overtook Piastri for 2nd but before the 1st lap was complete the second rookie of the day exited the running.  Doohan spun his car, losing it and dragging the car backwards down a wall, which immediately triggered the medical car and thus the Safety Car.  LeClerc had made up 2 places in his Ferrari.

Under the Safety Car, last year's winner and new-to-Williams, Sainz, spun his car, also into the wall.  He blamed it on a "torque surge".  It was a comfortable 6 laps for Norris before they went racing again.  As it hadn't actually rained for a while, the next challenge would be deciding when to change to slick tyres.

Another rookie, Antonelli, also spun but managed to regain the track unscathed.  Most overtakes were made when the driver in front made a mistake.  Piastri was able to get 2nd back off Verstappen when he went too close to the curb.  

The best radio of the race, and probably of the season, will go to Ferrari.  When LeClerc radioed in to complain (there was a lot of complaining on the red radio) that his seat was full of water, was there a leak?  His engineer said: "That will be water."  He commented that those were "words of wisdom".

On Lap 34 another old timer, crashed, the oldest of timers, Alonso, again scraping it down the wall and the Safety Car came out.  A lot of drivers pitted immediately but not the 2 McLarens in the lead at the time.  There was a 2nd tranche after.  Everyone went to dry tyres apart from both Haas.  After a few laps though and with McLaren having discussed the weather and decided that maybe they should put on intermediate tyres, Haas came in and put on dry tyres.  Clearly no one knew what the weather was going to do.

Back to the rookies, previously unmentioned Bortoleto, was awarded a 5 second penalty for an unsafe release.  

The rain came suddenly out of nowhere.  Initially it looked like the 2 McLarens out front had come together as we cut to them both running and wide and spinning.  Verstappen took the lead.  It became clear that this was the rain hitting the track.  Norris pitted and many others followed him.  Piastri, however, was beached on the grass.  With the crowd roaring him on, he did everything he could to try and get back on the track by rocking backwards and forwards until he got purchase.  Luckily, he was right in front of the pit lane entrance.  Verstappen would have to do another lap before he pitted but he was not in the lead but was told to stay out.   That looked a good move but then we saw how much it was raining at the end of the lap and he only just made it back safely into the pit.

Both Ferraris were left out on dry tyres.  A Safety Car came out to give them a free stop if they wanted it as 2 rookies, Bortoleto and Lawson came to a stop at the side of the track, having spun in the wet conditions.  The scarlet cars did choose to come in for a change of tyres.  Hamilton had said it was "dangerous" to stay out on dry tyres, which made it almost obligatory for his team to bring him in.  Having been reasonably polite over the radio so far, this was his most pointed barb at the time, that they pitted him at the wrong time.

Whilst the camera was trained on drivers overtaking Gasly and pushing him out of the top 10, Antonelli was pushing Albon for 4th place.  With 2 laps to go, the world was watching Norris and Verstappen battle for 1st place but behind them Anontelli took Albon.  It was announced that the rookie was going to be investigated for an unsafe release at the same time.    He was given 5 seconds., all Albon needed to do was stay within that parameter.  It was close but they finished Norris, Verstappen, Russell, Albon, Antonelli, Stroll (a quiet points finish), Hulkenberg (a great climb from the back of the grid), LeClerc, Piastri and Hamilton to finish the points.  Outside were Gasly, Tsunoda (who deserved points for that race), Ocon and Bearman.

Russell had a very quiet race for 3rd place and a podium; it almost fell into his hands although he must have handled the wet conditions well.  It's tough having your first Formula 1 race in the wet.  There were 6 retirements with 14 cars finishing, including 2 rookies, 1 in the points and 1 not. Antontelli started 16th and finished 5th, which was outstanding.  With the point for fastest lap now gone, I think the FIA should now bring in my old scoring system of giving a point to the driver who makes up the most places from their starting grid place.

4 different teams in the top 4 also holds promise for the season.

In other news, Mick Schumacher has been replaced standing next to Toto Wolff by Valteri Bottas, who is also trying to look very serious during the job.

Australia GP Qualifying Report

There are several drivers in contention for World Champion before they start racing in earnest this season.  Piastri has it the toughest this week, not only being the driver who needs to step it up the most to stake his claim within his own team, it is also his home track.  There is already extra demand for time from the media as it is the first race of the year but he will be needed to comment on racing in Australia too.

My son asked me who I thought would take pole for this first race of the season and I honestly had no idea.  Someone from Ferrari?  Someone from McLaren?  Someone from Mercedes?  There's also Williams in contention for two top ten places.

With so many rookies, it would be well to get a first lap in before anyone crashed and brought out any flagged restrictions on pace.  One of them, Bearman, immediately reported a broken gear box.  Lawson also had a poor Qualifying and went out with him, putting in a weak performance and going wide after aborting the lap.  Something went wrong, whether driver or mechanic fault, on Antonelli's car and he the car was very low sending up sparks and he went out too.  He had broken the bib of the car.  Along with the three rookies, was Ocon, newly driving for Haas and Hulkenberg, newly driving for Sauber.  Norris put in the quickest lap.

Nothing much happened in the second session, Bortoleto had a big off but saved it, still ending up in 15th in his Haas, still beating his team mate Ocon.  Doohan was next, then Stroll, with his team mate Alonso ahead of him.  In 11th was the best rookie, Hadjar for the Racing Bulls.  The end of the session was dicey as Hamilton spun his Ferrari on track.  With less than half a minute to go, he got going, which allowed some drivers to put in a quicker lap.  Norris took 1st place from his team mate at the last gasp, putting him in pole position to take pole position.

In the final session, it was busy at the top to start.  Norris's second hot lap time was deleted for veering off the track with all four tyres.  Halfway through Verstappen held pole position, followed by Russell, LeClerc, Piastri, Albon and Tsunoda, six different teams.   With four minutes left, everyone piled out of their garages.  Piastri took pole, then Norris snatched it off him.  Nobody could take if off them; it was a papaya front row.  Behind them was Verstappen, Russell, Tsunoda in his Racing Bull, Albon in his Williams, LeClerc beating Hamilton, Gasly then Sainz in his first outing for Williams.  Most improved definitely goes to Williams.  Everyone seemed very happy for them.  The range of different constructors in the top ten promises a great season.

There was a strong forecast for rain for race day, which no one was looking forward to.  A nice clean race to get a feel for each cars' strengths and weaknesses would have been preferable.  Hamilton was going to go home and study the rain settings for the Ferrari that evening.  It will be a big challenge for the rookies.

Australia GP Race Report

There was no news between Qualifying and the Race, so off we went.  Verstappen held the lead from the grid but LeClerc took Norris's third place straight away.  Hamilton, who wasn't sure about his soft tyre choice, made up one place, whilst his old nemesis, Alonso, fell back.

Just as I picked my phone to complete Wordle, Sainz makes a DRS pass on Verstappen round the outside of a corner, perfectly timed to take a second helping of open wing.  This is the first time in a long time that someone has overtaken him.  He radioed in to say the car was "loose"; was there something mechanically wrong with the car as it smoked it's way about and then his brake was on fire, or his tyre, or his engine. Verstappen pushed on for a while until the flames coming out the back of the car stopped in.  It's his first reliability failure for a many a season.   At this point, Perez was in 6th and ino position to step in to his team mate's shoes.

There was a flurry of pit stops by Lap 10, early on the 58 lap race.  Sauber, once again, had a poor stop and will need to make changes.

Just as Sainz pitted from the lead and came out second behind Alonso, Hamilton radioed in with an engine failure.  The moaning minnie pretty much manifested it for himself.  A Virtual Safety Car was called, which was a gift for those who hadn't already pitted: Alonso, Ocon and Gasly.

Sainz and LeClerc were told to hold positions  and later on there were more team orders, with Piasti moving over for Norris.

Everyone carried on from this point until the last lap when Russell had a major collision with the wall that left his car on it's side.  This meant that everyone finished under a Virtual Safety Car.  Alonso was subsequently given a 20 second place penalty for driving "unusually" and causing Russell to crash.  Sainz invited LeClerc to move close to him and celebrate the 1, 2 finish together, but he didn't...sour grapes?  He took Fastest Lap though; it feels likes a long time now since he has won a race.  The McLarens were 3rd and 4th and Perez was 5th, hardly scooping up the points upon Max's retiral.

Sainz climbed very slowly and gingerly out of the car, so his recent surgery was apparent.  The officials were trying to rush him about but it wasn't going to be possible.  To make matters worse, he was then interviewed by Guenther Steiner.

The top ten was finished by Stroll, Tsunoda, Alonso and both Haas, which is a massive result for the American team.  Albon, Ricciardo and Gasly came next, which was decent.

What can we look forward to in Japan and China?  The return of a second chassis for Williams?  Further wins for Ferrari?  Further mechanical failure for Red Bull?  Certainly more speculation about who will drive for which team in 2025.

Australia GP Qualifying Report

The build up to Qualifying was a tale of ailing drivers; Sainz was back in the car after abdominal surgery and Albon was in his team mate's car after destroying the chassis in Free Practice.

In the heavy Alpine, Gasly crossed a vital white line and would be penalised by the stewards.  The Frenchman must be on the watch list for drivers who might be racing in a different series next year.  No one noticed that Zhou's front wing was broken as he went around.  He was out last with both Haas (temporarily) and Gasly.  Then Ricciardo had a time deleted and put Magnussen back into the action.  The Australian never has any luck at his home track.

The Mercedes continued to struggle and Hamilton was knocked out in 11th in Q2 ahead of Albon, Bottas, Magnussen and Ocon.  Verstappen was complaining a lot about understeer, which left the Ferraris dominating the session so far.

On to the final Qualifying session and Alonso made a poor start with a trip through the gravel.  Piastri rode across a kerb.  The game played out as it always does, Verstappen comes from being slightly behind, Red Bull turn up the gas and takes pole position.  Next to him was a slightly-lighter-than-at-Bahrain Sainz.  Perez held third and LeClerc abandoned his lap when he knew he wasn't going any quicker.  So Norris starts 4th and Piastri is the other side of the Ferrari driver in 6th.  Russell was the highest finishing Mercedes in 7th, then Tsunoda, Stroll and Alonso.  Finally the owners son out qualifies his team mate.  The stewards would then give Perez a three place grid penalty for impeding Hulkenberg.

Australia GP Race Report

The sun was shining in Melbourne, much the same as the rainy Qualifying session.  It was looking punchy at the sharp end of the grid with a lot of drivers with a lot to prove on lap 1.  Russell made an excellent start and took Verstappen immediately and Hamilton wasn't far behind.  He felt that Hamilton pushed him wide but ultimately, he was being very cautious, preserving his championship hopes over taking unnecessary first lap risks.  The Ferraris initially made a good start, punishing Alonso but Stroll was too close to LeClerc and, with nowhere to do, the Prancing Horse was into the gravel trap bringing out the Safety Car.  The first casualty.  A few drivers pitted with the aim of finishing the race on these new tires (if only they knew).

Having initially pulled away nearly a second from his team mate, Hamilton then caught Russell up quickly, as did Verstappen behind him.  Russell was told to manage his pace but then panicked as Hamilton was looking to attack.  Just as this three way battle was climaxing, Albon spins out of nowhere and into the tire barrier.  A heart-breaking shame but the Safety Car was out, lap 7 and the race was neutralised.  Russell and Sainz pitted for new tires, which Hamilton felt was a disadvantage to his strategy.  However, in F1, things can change in a moment.  The Red Flag was shown as there was too much debris and the tire wall needed repairing and the cars retired to the pits, meaning Russell was now 7th for quite a while.

As it was a Red Flag and the race stopped, the Safety Car took the cars round to the start line for a standing start, effectively another race start.  On the way, some drivers got very confused trying to stay behind each other and came to a bizarre stand still but this did seem to be investigated or commented on for the rest of the race.  Hamilton got away well, with Verstappen at bay and Alonso in third.  De Vries flew over the top of Ocon but kept the car on the track.  Russell in seventh had places to make up and he scythed through the pack and was in 4th a couple of laps later.  Perez however, who had started in his Red Bull garage, seemed to be struggling to cut through the back of the pack.  Unlike his team mate, who was soon past Hamilton.

Just as things were going so right for Russell, his car was on fire.  He better watch out or he'll one of those drivers like Webber, who just never have the luck.  Retiring it at the end of the pit lane, a Virtual Safety Car was deployed, which gave everyone some cooling off time.

Nothing dramatic happened for a while and teams debated what each other were doing with their tire strategy.  Gasly made his way towards the front and Perez got up to 9th.  Just when it seemed plain sailing to the chequered flag, Verstappen makes a large lock-up goes off the track and over the fields.  This must have given great hope to Hamilton and Alonso behind him.

Then the drama started again, with Magnussen losing a tire and damaging his suspension with 5 laps to go.  There was some confusion as to whether a Safety Car would be required but the marshals needed to pick up a tire from the track.  It looked like the race would finish under the Safety Car but the Race Directors wanted more drama than that and Red Flagged the race so that there would be a third start to the race.

This time it was a classic Australian GP race start, with absolute carnage.  Alonso was the first to fall, tagged by Sainz, but managed to keep going.  His team mate Stroll seemed to just take himself out of the race but also kept going at the back.  Having had an amazing race, Gasly and Ocon took each other out, which is the Gallic coming to that everyone has been braced for since the partnership was announced.  Sargeant was also out in the Williams.  Verstappen held the lead as he had pointed right across the straight to block off Hamilton.  The whole thing was Red Flagged again.  For the second time the stewards were investigating  "the restart procedure".  It was a difficult decision to figure out how to fairly draw the race to a close.  The cars would restart in the same order that they started because they did not cross a sector line.  However, the Alpines could not start as the cars were not capable so they were taken out of the running order.  During the stoppage, Sainz was awarded, and told he was given, a 5 second penalty for his part in the ordeal.  He pleaded the case vociferously over the radio.  After the race he was so angry he couldn't give a coherent press briefing.

As the drivers had shown they cannot start a race in Melbourne safely, it was going to be a rolling start, with the drivers immediately finishing the race as they cross the line.  Only 12 cars finished, obviously with no Williams amongst them.  Points for both McLarens, ending a very grim era for them  and an unexpectedy points-scoring result for the home hero.  Even after the chequered flag there were incidents with Hulkenberg stopping on track but claiming 7th.

Verstappen was happy to have avoided all the drama (as he said: "We survived everything.")  and come home first and Hamilton was over the moon with second.  I think everyone would have liked to see Alonso on the top step but it was third for him.  David Coulthard didn't really know what to say on the podium interviews other than "that was crazy!".  Somehow Perez was voted Driver of the Day, maybe the time of the race is convenient in Mexico?  My vote went to Bert Mylander, the Safety Car driver, who did many more laps than some drivers.

Australia GP Qualifying Report

The big talking points going in to the weekend were: Perez and Verstappen have "made up" after disagreeing about Verstappen being the best driver in the team, Bottas getting his mullet trimmed, McLaren sacking a lead member of the team and there being a new Australian driver in Piastri racing at his home track.  Obviously, I am obligated to mention there being four seasons in one day in Melbourne.  

With a 90% chance of rain during Qualifying, Williams lined their cars up at the end of the pit lane very early.  It looked like a wasted opportunity, with Albon doing okay but Sargeant spinning.  However, as Perez has had a nightmare of a race weekend, he locked up, going straight and irrevocably into the gravel trap.  Apparently, it "was the same issue again".  All Williams (and Haas, McLaren, Alfa Romeos and Alpha Tauris) needed now was the rain to come on whilst the red flag was flying and they would all be through to Q2.  The rain never came and the only surprise car to go through to Q2 was Albon.  Home Hero, Piastri was out.

The hero of Q2 was Albon, who put in many laps and finished before many other drivers, so had to watch and see if anyone would set a quicker time and knock him out.  No one did and he was through.  Out went Ocon, Tsunoda, Norris, Gasly and De Vries.

In the final Qualifying session, Verstappen just could not find the pace and was down in 6th after the first round of hot laps.  He was leading the pack and jumped back up to pole with his second hot lap.  The countdown to the arrival of the rain had started but it was only due to arrive 1 minute before the end of the session.  I wish I could get similar forecasts on my whereabouts.  As everyone came back out, we found out that Verstappen was suffering from multiple technical problems.  Albon gave up and retired to the pits to watch the final showdown in comfort.  Even wounded, the Red Bull took pole position, with the surprise result of Russell and Hamilton behind them.  Further down were Alonso, Sainz, Stroll, LeClerc, Albon, Gasly and Hulkenberg.  Albon made the correct call not to waste any more tires.  Russell continues to outshine his world champion team mate.  Sainz was two places ahead of his team mate, who everyone feels should be challenging for the championship this year.

Verstappen was very happy, answering questions expansively.  Russell was full of congratulatory handshakes and waves to the crowd.  Hamilton and Alonso kept their helmets on and maintained a fast pace to their destinations.

90% chance of rain...my bahooky.  

What might happen in the race?  Hamilton and Russell take each other out?  Verstappen suffers a drive shaft failure?  Will Alonso win the race he's predicted to win at last?

Australian GP Qualifying & Race Report

It was a doozy of a weekend for Aston Martin, who seem to have attracted a number of headlines.  There was the Free Practice sessions with crashes for both drivers (one of whom doesn't seem quite right after his bought of Co-Vid) with Vettel then getting a fine for driving back to the pits on a moped, on the race track.  Then Stroll ran into Latifi in his freshly rebuilt car in Qualifying.  A triumph of Daddy's money over driving ability.  

The biggest scalp in Q1 was Magnussen, no longer the comeback backmarker magician.  There were no big surprises in Q2.  The final Qualifying session was slightly disastrous.  Alonso pushed too hard and had problems with his hydraulics and gears and DNF.  There were 2 red flags (without Latifi even being on track).  As Sainz was only able to take 9th, his Ferrari team mate LeClerc snatched pole from Verstappen.

The race promised excitement with the two rivals lined up next to each other on the grid.  Hamilton made up 3 places off the grid, unfortunately Sainz spun on Lap 2 bringing out the Virtual Safety Car and then the real Safety Car.  Albon did not pit under Safety Car conditions.  I watched this race on Channel 4 and it speaks volume about the quality of the race that in a highlights format they chose to show the replay of the start 5 times from different driver perspectives rather than action on track.  Verstappen was reminded that he is not allowed to draw alongside the leader of the Safety Car crocodile, very much a primary teacher shouting to walk single file in the corridor.

16 laps later, Vettel drove off the road bringing out another Safety Car, in the middle of a great battle between Hamilton and Perez.  Albon did not pit under Safety Car conditions.

The battle between Verstappen and LeClerc simmered away throughout until weird noises and strange smells brought the Red Bull to a stop.  A Virtual Safety Car was called again.  The Dutchman is not going to keep his world title if Red Bull cannot achieve better than 1 in 3 race reliability.  Albon did not pit.  By this point I was very worried/confused.  Albon was running in 7th, brilliant.  Why hadn't he pitted?  Is running two different tire compounds no longer a requirement?  Is he waiting for another Safety Car?  Surely his team mate, Latifi, could bring out another Safety Car?  A startling brilliant strategy from Williams played out, earning them one point, as Albon pitted during the final lap to comply with regulations.  Is Latifi's daddy going to start asking the team if the two men are driving the same car?

Hamilton appeared to blame Mercedes for putting him in a "really bad position" with Russell able to put under the Safety Car and Hamilton having unfortunately pitted just before the incident.  He needs to find some way of driving a poor car well, as his team mate is second in the championship.  Which, whilst being mathematically correct, does seem inherently wrong.  Red Bull seem in danger of handing points over to Mercedes too often.  Everyone was pleased to be in the Australian sun again, although questions were asked about the sustainability of travelling there and back for just one race and not stopping in somewhere local as well.  With three races confirmed in America next year, I think we can see a winning sustainable format ahead...hold all the races in different states of America and call it a world championship.  Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

Australia GP - "How about that?"

A different kind of Formula 1 seems promised this year (or Hamilton will romp it - one or other).  Some big names have changed shop and there are lots of rookies.  Now, Lando Norris - anyone else envision a John Major accent?  Alonso will be kicking himself with the results this newbie has achieved so far.

Qualifying was bewildering, I kept forgetting that Red Bull is now powered by Honda (is that Alonso's swinging boot, I can hear?)  Returning to same old same old, I have started my "this is the greatest crowd" tally from Hamilton.

A new feature of the championship this year, is the point for the fastest lap (21 points available over the course of the year, which could be a championship clincher.  Clearly copied from the original and best fantasy Formula 1 league though). Although, if I understand correctly, you must be in the top ten to score it, which I think sucks.

The race left us with many questions.  Why was Sainz on fire?  Why does the Melbourne circuit always, literally, attack Ricciardo?  Was the Lap 30 battle between Vettel and Verstappen a hint of a potential three horse race for the title?  And upon the finish, will it really be a four horse race or will Toto have to step in?  Why didn't the drastic aero changes lead to closer racing?  How well did ASOS do out of my race viewing?  (The greater the spend, the duller the race.)  Did my eyes deceive me or was there a 21 second gap between Bottas and Hamilton in a straight fight?  Why did no commentator mention that both Williams were still running at the end?

But the question we all need answered is: why did Vettel change his beard to a moustache between press day and qually?

Australia GP - Results

1. Evel Marque - 90*
2. BottHaas - 76
3. Je suis Charlie - 45
4= PickedInAHurry - 41
4= Hippy F1 - 41
6. The Pitstop Princess - 35
7. Jack the Lad - 33
8. Ferrari Rocher - 22
9. Francesco Bernoulli's Fan Club - 18

*Home track played

Australia GP - "Bella stragegia"

It was a poor start to the season.  Whilst still in recovery from viewing Hamilton and Vettel's back to school haircuts and Hamilton's encroaching American accent, Halo, Baby! and I found ourselves cheering on Vettel to take pole.  How times change.

The subsequent press conference between Hamilton, Raikkonen and Vettel promises an interesting year ahead and some good battles to come.

Much was made of Mercedes' "party mode" but it seems that the top teams are closer than they have been for a while.  Elsewhere on the pitlane, the cars dropped like flies, Sirotkin, then the Haas's to door-slamming frustration.  At least Alonso made 5th, let's hope he spices up the racing.

Vettel bounded up the stairs after the race, hoping to show that 58 laps is nothing to him.  Hamilton claimed he was "saving the engine" in the face of the track not allowing overtaking.  Despite Webber's pleas the crowd still booed Hamilton.  I think this is the year that panto arrives at F1, what will the Americans make of that?

So what will the season ahead bring?  And will I ever be able to distinguish between Sauber and Williams' liveries?

Now I'm looking for a volunteer for the commentary next race...let me know if you're up for it.

Australian GP - Results

UPDATED!  Thanks, Hippy F1, there was a spelling error in the spreadsheet....now fixed

1= Give it some Gasly! - 60
1= Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 60
3. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 59
4. Spa Day with a Shooey - 54
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 47
6. The Hopefulls - 45
7= Halo, Baby! - 35
7= The Pitstop Princess - 35
9. No Vices Now - 34
10= Evel Marque - 30
10= Maximum attack! - 30
10= Hippy F1 - 30
13. Jack Johnson - 28
14. Wheels on Fire - 9

Australia GP - "That's the way to do it"

Ricciardo put a new spin on the phrase "out lap" to start our season, well with Hulkenberg we had to wait one more lap for the season to start..  It wasn't a bad start and there was overtaking, which is positive.  I just wonder how long I will take to stop thinking the McLarens are Force Indias.
When I came to look at the results to type this up, I was surprised by how long the list of retirees was.  All I've noted is that it was a shame for Grosjean and Palmer.  And to think the FIA wanted to improve reliability!
What does the season hold for us?  Vettel seems to have taken some extra Italian language tuition over the break and can now say more than "Forza Ferrari".  I think it will be a while before anyone who speaks Italian as well as Rosberg will show him up on the podium though.  We also have the phrase "overcut" to hear more of...

Australia GP - Results

1. Bernie is a Hobbit - 68
2= The Pitstop Princess - 60
2= Evel Marque - 60
4. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 53
5. Slightly Slower Racing - 50
6. BOT-RAI-PER - 48
7. No Vices Now - 46
8. Moneyball - 43
9= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 35
9= Hippy F1 - 35
11= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 32
11= Even more hopeful - 32
13=Hoping for an Indian Summer - 17
13= Torque of the Devil - 17
13= Burn After Racing - 17

*I am doing the sums in my head this year, so please send all maths corrections to the usual address.

Driver of the Day

Following the Australia GP, the fans voted for Grosjean to be Driver of the Day.  Lets keep our eyes on this work...I sense a new points system for 2017...

25 topics of radio conversation

Any idea what they could be?

Comments below.

Australia - "Great tyres. Great start to the season"

Bonza

Glittery helmets - Wehrlein
Going on the B in bang - amazing starts from the Ferrari drivers
Cockpits - amazing safety.  Alonso's crash was heart-stopping
Tyre strategy - nearly made the race interesting
Timmy Mallet - the best celeb McLaren could muster
Angus commentary - comments included "big cash" (way before the Alonso event), "working", "racey cars gone" and "funny" (seeing the fire extinguisher from Raikkonen's on board cam)
Haas - excellent result for the newcomer
Intra-team scraps - Verstappen vs. Sainz is shaping up nicely
Booing - Ozzies booing Hamilton on the podium, not sure why

Naw

New qualifying format - I think everyone is in agreement...
15 week gap - between the 2015 and 2016 seasons.  Really?  It was much longer than that.

Australian GP Results

1. Three teams, one dream - 114*
2. Merc-redible Hulk - 62
3. Claire has to type out this sentence each time as my team name - 59
4= The Pitstop Princess - 57
4= BogOffBernie - 57
6. Halo, it's me - 50
7. Weak end of Bernie - 47
8. British Racing Green - 42
9= The Hopefuls - 39
9= No Vices Now - 39
11. Hippy F1 - 37
12. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 32
13. Put out to Pastor - 27
14. Marian's Marvels - 25
15. Indiana Walker and the Tyres of Doom - 24
16. The Maranello Marvels - 15

* Home track

Australia GP - "nice work...excellently managed...solid race"

Bonza

Hope - Button thinks the McLaren Honda package "will challenge Mercedes".  Granted he said this before he didn't score points in a race where only 11 cars finished.
Blue and yellow - congrats Sauber and Banco de Brazil for a lovely looking car.
New graphics - cleaned up for the new season.  I am appreciating the clear pit stop times and removal of driver numbers
Penalties - where were they?  This feels like a bygone era.
Adrian Newey - back in the pitlane?  Must be desperate times for Red Bull.
Debuts - amazing rookie races by Sainz and Nasr (5th!)
Mamma mia! - Vettel sucks up to the tifosi with some bella Italian
Arnie's interview plan - spend a long time chatting with the eloquent Germans and no time at all with Hamilton

In the dunny

Engine failure - Kvyat changed one before qualifying had even started, that's failing before you've even written your name at the top of the paper.
Van der Farce - Guido came to his senses and realised that if he wanted a team manager to take him on board ever again, suing the lovely Monisha Kaltenborn for a drive was not the way forwards.   We saw why he took desperate measures once the race was over and the points were tallied.
Manor Marussia - staying put in the garage.  What happened to money-saving measures?
Too young for leg hair - Mehri
Return of Ron - hmmmmm
#44 - why would you not use #1 when you have earnt it?  Heritage too fuddy duddy for you?  You don't have a tattoo of it?  44 nets you more merch money?
Not making it to the grid - Bottas does his back in.  Magnussen and Kvyat's cars don't get them round their out laps.  Bring back reserve cars.
Poor starts - Raikkonen - come on, please, get it together.
Missing out on easy points - Lotus, I'm looking at you
Radio silence - how boring now all the team radio chat is tyre chat and fuel saving
Poor pitstops - never happen to the right person.  I think Sainz's was meant for Hamilton
Unlucky - Verstappen had a great inaugral race, marred only by some poor parking when his car failed
Unreliability - more pre-season testing is needed

Finally, who knew Arnie was so short!

Australian GP Results

1. Lots of Trouble Usually Serious - 110*
2= HamBerg from McCedes drive through please - 105
2= DC's Tighty Whiteys - 105
4= Sharks have no bones :) - 96
4= Teutonic Titans, Titanic Twits - 96
6. The F1 Flumps - 74
7. Hippy F1 - 65
8. Go Fast and Prosper - 65
9. Baby on Board - 62
10. Double Mercedes is Boring! - 61
11= Muppet Racing - 55
11= Mike and the Mechanics - 55
13. I blame Clarkson - 45
14. The Hopefuls - 43
15. The Pitstop Princess - 38
16= No Vices Now - 30
16= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 30
16= The Very Good Value - 30
19. Juan Angus Fangio C.I. - 26
20. Baby Pitstop's Change Crew - 23
21. I Monza Brink of Insanity - 17
22. 10CC - 12

*Home track

ps. please let me know if you notice any indescrepencies, it was a mammoth spreadsheet this year.