Monaco GP Race Report

The big day at Monte Carlo got off to a shaky start: Lawson's car almost wasn't ready, Bortoleto's was but it stalled and was pushed back into the pit lane and Brundle couldn't interview the Kardashians.  The grid was rammed with people and Martin got more and more irate as people either shoved him or refused to talk to him.

Antonelli made a great start but it might have been an optical illusion as Verstappen, who was alongside him, lost power.  It was well done by everyone that he was not hit as he was stationary in his grid spot.  The only driver to overtake off the start was Gasly, who got past Norris, helped that he was avoiding the Red Bull  As we got over that excitement, we saw that Russell was being investigated for a false start.  Norris had grassed on reported him being outside his box but it was dismissed.  Perez was given a drive through penalty for a false start; he did make a flying one.  

After the stewards had finished their duties, there was nothing to report until we were a third of the way through the race.  Hadjar's car was slowly breaking, losing different elements each lap.  Russell had caught right up behind him and his car was jumping about wildly; I'm not sure if that is how the Mercedes are running or if that is the effect of turbulent air.  Finally, it was the undercut at his pit stop nearly halfway through the race that got Russell past.  As the drivers started making their one and only pit stop, Hamilton sped in the pit lane and received a five second penalty.  He must have wanted the race over quickly so he could whisk Kim back to his Monaco pad.

Norris was the next driver to start to lose function in his car.  David Croft speculated that the bumps on the track were knocking the cars apart: Norris, Hadjar, Verstappen had all lost power.  Bearman and Bottas had also quietly retired.  Russell also then got a five second penalty too for speeding in the pit lane.  As the phrase goes, if he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all.  The gremlins were serious and Norris had to retire.  Piastri joined the speeding in the pit lane club.  If it wasn't one thing it was another.

Both Williams were in the points then they were asked to swap places.  Albon wasn't happy but did it and then we waited to see what would happen.  After Sainz' stop they swapped back and Sainz was left to defend against Hulkenberg for a while.   The strategy didn't work out because Linblad in front of them got a cheap pit stop...

Just as I was wondering whether we would get all the way through Qualifying and the Race without a Safety Car and only one Red Flag and whether Stroll would bring this about, Stroll went nose first into the wall at the chicane.  Not all drivers came in for fresh tyres.

 

At the start, Hamilton got fairly close to race leader Antonelli but not enough for the pass.  Leclerc behind his team mate had cold brakes and couldn't get them working at the restart and went into the tyre wall and out came the Safety Car again.

Gasly then sped in the pit lane.  But Russell forgot to take his penalty so there would be more coming to him.

The crane and operators were well-practised and moved quick and Leclerc was almost immediately back in the garage and his car lifted off the track.  The cars were going around the track behind the Safety Car and then the race was Red Flagged and suspended.  Finally, we were shown what had happened: the tarmac on one corner was coming up in chunks.

Hamilton was investigated for some infringement but it was dismissed.  Russell had a drive through penalty for not taking his penalty at his pit stop.  Then the long wait was over and I have no idea what they actually did to the track to fix the problem.  Antonelli's engineer thought they just swept it up and the problem would continue for the final eight laps of the race.

The Safety Car led the cars around to the grid for a standing start sprint shoot-out to end the Monaco GP.  Antontelli kept his lead, with Hamilton right behind.  Hulkenberg, who had been giving Williams grief all afternoon, tagged Sainz and put him out of the race as he was then tapped by Colapinto to seal the deal.  The Audi then overtook Albon very naughtily.  The German should not get any points for that race and those final laps.  He gave the place back.  He did get a ten second penalty in the end which did indeed put him out of the points.

As they raced close together, yet more infringements were reviewed by the stewards.  Hadjar would be investigated after the race.  Russell took his drive through and Gasly still had a second penalty to take.  Hadjar was battling to get onto the podium but kept losing power in his Red Bull.  Perez was also out of position at the restart and to be looked into.

The commentators effusive words during Antonelli's last lap made it seem fateful that he would crash during it.  Hamilton took a great second place, which may feel like a win.  Hadjar would stand on third place on the podium but might lose it later, which would be unfair on Piastri who needed a stand on the podium for his confidence.  Hulkenberg's drop down the order meant that Cadillac scored their first ever point with Perez (even though he was still under investigation).  It would be Alonso and Aston Martin who would get it if he were demoted.

Hamilton was the first to congratulate Antonelli before he was even out of the car.  It was a good haul for Racing Bull in (potentially) sixth and seventh.  Only fifteen cars finished the race.  The top ten were Antonelli, Hamilton, Hadjar (who was cleared by the stewards in the end), Piastri, Lawson, Linblad, Gasly, Albon, Ocon and Perez.

With five races won in a row, Antonelli is firmly in the lead in the championship.  There is only one week's gap before racing in Barcelona so he has the momentum and Russell is now behind Hamilton as well in the championship.  When does George become a desperate man?

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

The drivers were already to take on this great challenge...sorry, no Kim Kardashian was ready to walk the pit lane as though it was the world's greatest catwalk.  The sun was shining in the province.  The cars' restrictions had been lessened and drivers were looking forward to the best Saturday on the season's calendar.

Antonelli was a little all-over-the-shop in the first Qualifying session.  The near-rookie who made the mistake though was Bortoleto who clipped a curb and nearly managed to stop in time but broke his suspension instead.  He was stranded on the track and the session was stopped with a red flag.  Some drivers appeared safe and in the pit lane, others went out to try and secure a spot in the top sixteen.  The Williams' put in great laps for ninth and tenth.  Bortoleto was through in fifteenth, which felt unfair.  Out went Ocon, Perez, Bearman, Bottas, Alonso and Stroll.  Is this the start of another awful weekend for Aston Martin?  Where is the Newey magic we (and Fernando) were promised?  It seems like Monaco is not a good track for the Haas as well.

The second session was uneventful.  Williams had peaked and finished in eleventh and twelfth; they pushed too hard.  Behind them were Hulkenberg, Colapinto, Linblad and Bortoleto.  Fastest was Max Verstappen who suddenly was much quicker and Russell could only manage eighth.

With a couple of seconds to go, having not put in a particularly good lap so far, Leclerc took provisional pole.  Up until then Antonelli and Verstappen had been quickest and there was still some time for them to do some good work.  The Ferrari driver needed a crash.  Verstappen did indeed get pole and then Hamilton took second place.  The Mercedes drivers were still going...Just as Antonelli did take pole, Leclerc was pushing again but bumped the wall and gained a puncture.  The top ten line-up would be Antonelli, Verstappen, Hamilton, Leclerc, Hadjar, Russell, Piastri, Norris, Gasly and Lawson.

The teenager was over the moon.  Could he sustain focus and keep it on the black stuff for a whole Monaco race?  Russell's response would also be interesting.

Monaco GP Race Report

There were a few shifts about on the grid due to penalties and whatnot but no one really cared as all concern was directed to how the teams would cope with having to stop twice.  

The first few corners would be crucial as well.  In F2 and the Porsche Supercup races earlier in the day, there were big crashes.  In F2, there was an 11 car pile up (which was not replayed despite no one being hurt) and the Porsche that spun meant all the cars behind them had to stop, like a massive Monegasque traffic jam.

Everyone was away clearly and in grid order, at the end of the first lap though, Bortoleto was into the wall, as he was caught out by Antonelli overtaking him.  It was a heart-stopping moment: was this the early Safety Car that had been predicted?  A green flag replaced the yellow as Bortoleto reversed his Sauber to keep going.  Those who were ready to pit immediately stood down.  The barrier needed to be inspected though, so a Virtual Safety Car was instigated.  Tsunoda, Gasly, Bearman and Bortoleto pitted with the Haas experiencing problems.

The race went on for a further eight laps, until Gasly went into the back of his old chum Tsunoda and lost a front wheel.  Piastri slowed as there were waved yellow flags for the debris on the track but Verstappen right behind him did not.  Gasly had no brakes and could not stop; he couldn't park the car at the side and he couldn't stop when he got into the pit lane either.  Eventually he stopped but pretty much in the Williams garage, the pit lane was closed.  However, Gasly could have gone down an escape road much earlier but chose to keep going and nearly took off his team mate as he careered across the corner.

Hulkenberg was the first driver to take a proper stop.  This triggered others.  Hadjar had been running well and pitted from fifth, exiting ahead of his team mate in eighth, a good result for the Racing Bulls.  Norris pitted on lap 20 of 78 and came out in fourth behind LeClerc, Piastri and Verstappen.  Bearman and Hadjar did a quick change of tyres so that they had their stops all done.  Piastri's stop was very slow but would not be able to jump LeClerc.  Despite putting in the fastest lap of the race, he didn't.

It seemed everything had calmed down.  The front runners were complaining that the marshals were not waving blue flags to tell the backmarkers to let them through.  It felt like there should have been ten laps to go but, remarkably, there were forty laps to go and Alonso's engine gave out with a puff of smoke from sixth position.  He would have scored some good points.  The Aston Martin was parked neatly off the track by the ever-professional Spaniard.

With two thirds of the race gone, neither Mercedes had taken any of their mandatory pit stops.  Russell got more and more frustrated behind Albon, who was deliberately holding up the pack for his team mate Sainz.  Following closely, he cut the corner and refused to give the place back.  The team asked him to again and he told them that he would take the five second penalty rather than concede.  The stewards didn't like that and gave him a drive through penalty instead, which meant he would have to go slowly through the pit lane rather than take the pit straight on track as normal.  This was very costly.

Then we waited for drivers to make their stops.  Verstappen made his final one on the last lap, giving Norris the lead back.  His finished there with LeClerc and Piastri behind him.  Also in the points positions were Verstappen, Hamilton, Hadjar, Ocon (an excellent finish for the Haas), Lawson, Albon and Sainz.  The Racing Bulls and Williams' did well to get some points and will keep their battle going.

There was general agreement that the two stop rule did not work. There's little time to party before heading to Barcelona.  Piastri was still leading the championship and there's still plenty of time in his career to win at Monte Carlo.

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

During the Practice sessions both Hamilton and Piastri crashed which gave a sense that anything could happen in Qualifying.  Ferrari just managed to rebuild the car in time.  Bearman would have a ten place grid penalty for overtaking under a Red Flag.  All eyes were on Williams to see if they could qualify high up, continuing their revival and potentially score lots of points in the race.

LeClerc was fastest in the first Qualifying session, the man who knows the track better than anyone.  Out went Bortoleto, Bearman, Gasly, Stroll (who was in everyone's way all the time) and Colapinto.  Piastri was the only driver to kiss the wall but Antonelli brought a sour end to the session, preventing those at the back having any chance at getting through with a final minute smash into the barrier.  This brought out the Red Flag.  He was through in 15th and would stay there.

A few minutes into the second session Russell came to a stop in the tunnel, after turning his car off and on again.  It would be a very hard place to extract it from and George got the marshals pushing it to a safer place.  It was an awful Qualifying for Mercedes.  With both of them out, there were only three more spaces to fill in the bottom five.  It looked likely it would be Hulkenberg (it was in 13th) and then Ocon or the Racing Bulls.  Unfortunately it was Sainz and Tsunoda, whose team mates finished 3rd and 5th.  Here was Williams outperforming the Red Bulls.  Norris took the fastest time with LeClerc hot on his heels.

At the last gasp in the final session, LeClerc took pole.  Verstappen could only manage 5th.  Then Piastri was on a quick lap but could not get higher than 3rd.  Norris put together a great lap and did take pole; it could be his comeback lap.  Disappointingly, Albon was 10th.  Between them was Hamilton in 4th, Hadjar in 6th, then Alonso, Ocon and Lawson.

Everyone seems pretty defeated by their position on the grid, even Norris.  So if the mandatory two stops don't make the race exciting enough for you, don't forget that you can play spot the difference with the new McLaren livery.  It's very tricky.

Monaco GP Race Report

In a pre-race interview, Sainz told Naomi Schiff that we "would know soon" which team is he headed to for the 2025 season.  This still didn't touch the clamour around pole-sitter LeClerc, who was racing around his home town.  The grid was properly filled with celebrities; of all the races around the world, this is probably the closest to a "money can't buy" experience.

We thought Sainz would overtake Piastri off the start but contact was made and he was immediately off and out.  LeClerc was chased by the McLaren instead.  A Red Flag was called, which seemed extreme for a puncture.  We then cut to a huge collision with Perez and both Haas, the blame wholly at Magnussen's door.  The Red Bull was left as just a cockpit, no front wing, almost no wheels.  Sainz limped back to the pits.  It was a shame that it was so early in the race, first lap, which wouldn't shake things up much.  

Whilst we watched lots of replays, the TV director found more footage of a third first lap incident where Ocon put an overly aggressive pass on his team mate, being propelled over and into him.  Some team principals were going to have some heavy discussions with their drivers after the race.

There was some drama over whether the race would restart in the order it finished or in the order they started as it was a first lap incident.  Those who started on the hard tyres would be massively disadvantaged as they would need to either run the whole race on medium tyres or make a pit stop, compared to those who started on the medium and could try to run the rest of the race on hards.  It was eventually decided that they would restart in grid order minus those who didn't make it back to the pits unaided.

On the restart, everyone got away cleanly; in all fairness most of the liabilities were no longer racing (all eyes on Sargeant and Stroll!).  From there on, everyone stayed in their order, whilst the commentators wondered if and how pit stops might affect things.  Stroll was the first to pit but did not bring any excitement to the race until he got a puncture and the rubber completely came away.

Ocon meanwhile was causing some drama.  He had been awarded a 5 place grid drop at the next race but his boss spoke to the press early and stated that strong words would be had, there would be consequences and a difficult decision would be made.

LeClerc and his radio went back and forth over which pace he should be sticking to and it was all about managing the race of other drivers.  Hamilton asked his team why they didn't tell him the outlap after his stop was critical, I think, as a driver, you should consider each lap of a race critical.  

We did see an overtake from Bottas on Sargeant, ironically he might be in that seat next year...if Sainz doesn't want it.  Stroll was able to make two passes with soft tyres.

With four laps to go, LeClerc made a very cocky comment to his team, which seemed to doom him to a hard coming together with a wall.  It then seemed entirely plausible that they would find Ferrari to have used the wrong fuel or a sprocket had been replaced incorrectly and he would be disqualified.

It was a great race for Ferrari, taking third two.  And a great race for McLaren with 2nd and 4th.  Leaving aside Perez, as normal, Verstappen held his 6th place, making it a bad race for Red Bull.  Mercedes also held position and probably won't be happy with 5th and 7th.  The final three points scorers will be feeling very pleased with themselves, Gasly, Albon and Tsunoda.

I'm really looking forward to replicating these vibes with Stroll in Canada next.

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

With Sainz being linked to a drive for several different teams next season, you would think all eyes would be on him but they were actually on the home track racer, LeClerc.  Rivalling him for coverage was McLaren who were unidentifiable in their Senna tribute colours on car, uniforms and everything else possible.

Everyone struggled in the first Qualifying session because different teams chose to go out in an entirely random order, which meant that traffic was awful, with huge queues forming.  There were big scalps: Alonso ahead of Sargeant, then Perez behind him and ahead of both Saubers.  Perez commented that this was a "joke", not sure who he thought was laughing.  If people were questioning his position at Red Bull before the race, he will be facing it far louder now.

With Perez and Alonso out, there were a couple of free passes into the final Qualifying session from the second.  Gasly knocked out team mate Ocon.  Hulkenberg qualified in 12th, once again ahead of his team mate Magnussen in 15th.  Between them was a struggling Ricciardo and Stroll.

Verstappen struggled throughout Qualifying and hit the wall in the last few laps and had to take his foot off the pedal.  Piastri brought the fight to LeClerc but he held it and took pole.  We can only assume that Ferrari had turned everything up to deliver the car for him.  Sainz was third, so the car is looking good, will it be able to hold everyone off during the race?  After them is Norris, Russell, Verstappen, Hamilton, Tsunoda, Albon and Gasly.  It's a great position for the Williams and Alpine cars.

After the session, both Haas cars were disqualified because their rear wings were not the correct size.

There are a few issues to look out for during the race: Ferrari cocking things up as usual, can Perez or Alonso make up some places, how bad will the graining be, will there be rain?

It was all sunshine and smiles on the cramped grid walk.  LeClerc had been awarded a 3 place grid penalty for impeding Norris during Qualifying.  All the former driver pundits agree that there is a gentlemen's agreement that you don't go slow in the tunnel.  I fail to understand how the stewards can penalise for breaking an agreement rather than a rule.

The first take of the hairpin saw the drivers get bunched up to a stand still; resulting in Hulkenberg in the pits and damage for Stroll.  The Canadian went for a gap where there was no gap twice.  George Russell was also in trouble for starting in the wrong place; this was later judged to be not of sufficient interest.

Once the first lap was all done, everyone settled into a routine.  On Lap 12, Sainz went into the back of Ocon, just as he was trying to force the man ahead to push his tires too hard.  With a bit of wing hanging off, he should have been called into the pit lane but didn't.  The bit fell off and Ferrari no longer felt any need at all to bring Sainz in as driving to optimum speed around Monte Carlo isn't necessary.  

Magnussen managed an overtake on Sargeant.  The Williams were sitting ducks as others followed through and Albon pitted.  But was it tactical for one driver to hold up others to give the team mate more of a gap to pit?  At this point, there was much talk of tires graining as this was the only hope of the race spicing up.  Or perhaps rain?

Stroll had more coming-togethers, this time with Perez, who had to get a new nose when he pitted, ruining his already ruined race.  I don't think Alonso will be able to say what a great driver the boss's son is after this race.

Sainz did a LeClerc and was furious on the radio with his team for poor strategy.  It felt like there was only a matter of time before his rage distracted him from due care and he crashed.  We were treated to a shot of Antonio Giovannazi looking worried in the Ferrari garage but also much more dishy for having a hair cut.  If only he'd reduced his weight earlier...

By Lap 45 of 78, everyone had been playing chicken with their pit stops waiting for either a Safety Car or rain.  LeClerc broke first, pitting from 3rd and exiting in 8th.

With 26 laps to go, the rain arrived.  Sainz continued to battle Ocon and it seemed no one other than Verstappen was worried.  Alonso was the first driver to be called to the pits and chose dry weather tires, which threw his race as the rain suddenly came down much heavier and he came straight back in, luckily back out in 2nd  Verstappen nudged a barrier.  They were stacking at Ferrari.  Mercedes beat them at the strategy, with both cars out in front.  Stroll lost his wing running into the barrier.  Then Magnessen.  Then Sargeant (who also sped in the pits, rounding off a particularly lacklustre weekend for Williams).  As if the rain wasn't enough, Russell had a time penalty for rejoining the track unsafely (indeed into Perez).  There were numerous other incidents and Hamilton came on to the radio saying the track conditions were unsafe.  The first driver to actually retire was Stroll.  Russell put in a bid for Hamilton to let him past to maximise the points but was told no.

Despite everyone willing Alonso to win, Verstappen held on to his premier position.  It wasn't a good day for overtaking with Ocon holding on to his third position.  As the circus moves on to Spain, all hopes will be back with the Spaniard; I think we're going to keep on like this until he either wins or retires.

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

There were a few bumps in Monaco prior to Qualifying and the most talked about was Hamilton's bump in Free Practice 3 that morning, which meant a quick turnaround for the team.  The first big incident of the weekend though was for Perez who brought out the Red Flag after less than 10 minutes into the first Qualifying session.  With a barrier broken and a hole in the side of his car, he was beached in the middle of the track.  From being King of the Circuit last year, this was abysmal.

We were treated to another amazing shot of a car suspended high above Monte Carlo, against the azure blue sky.  All week there had been mentions of rain, would this come for race day?

The track warmed up with every second that passed and drivers kept shooting up to the top of the timetable.  At the end Hamilton and Sainz were under pressure to put in a good lap to get them through and just made it, putting out Sargeant (who, only moments earlier looked very safe), Magnussen, Hulkenberg (a poor showing all round from Haas), Zhou (who had held the top spot) and Perez last.  It proved that you need to get an amazing lap in as you don't know what flags might come out and the track kept evolving.

The next bump came in the next Qualifying session and it was a bottom wallop by Norris to his McLaren, right at the very end of the session.  The mechanics worked furiously on the car as he was still through to the final Qualifying session, just knocking out his team mate.  Race Control put the start time back for this session, which would benefit the team.  Out went Albon, Bottas, Stroll, Piastri and de Vries.

The final session saw championship-leader Verstappen looking a little shaky but still caught pole position in the final moments.  It looked spicy though with Alonso in second.  He had held pole, with LeClerc in third position having held pole briefly prior.  Ocon also put in a great lap to be first before the top drivers put in their last laps.

The first 100 metres of the race would be electric as Alonso is definitely in it to win it this weekend, possible being one his best chances to take a win this season.  I think LeClerc will play it cautiously as he will at least want a finish first before considering a podium; he first had to survive an inquiry.

Monaco GP Race Report

The grey clouds were looming over the moneyed cliffs of Monte Carlo and a wet race seemed our only chance of an enjoyable race.  Be careful what you wish for.  Before the race, Sainz commented that he wouldn't be racing LeClerc as this isn't a track you can actually race at.  It's a race where the tires and the pit stop strategy and teamwork therein is going to make or break it as entertainment.

Just as the race was due to start the heavens opened and the race start was a little delayed.  The drivers tried a few formation laps behind the Safety Car then the race was red flagged and stopped.  So much for rain bringing electric racing.

Behind the Safety Car,  Latifi  drove his Williams straight into the wall at the hairpin, then Stroll hit the barriers side on.  Next the Canadians nearly collided in the pit lane.  Gasly was also in on the first racing lap for the Intermediate tire.  I know wet conditions, living in Glasgow, and I wouldn't have said it was Inters o'clock.  But as the laps went by it was Gasly on those tires that brought the racing to Monaco.  It looked like the other drivers would go straight from Wet tires to Slick, dry weather, tires.  Hamilton pitted, would it be him to lead the way?  No, Intermediate tires.  Perez playing the same strategy as the Red Bull guinea pig after him.   Hamilton and Ocon started battling.

LeClerc and his rival Verstappen pitted at the same time for a cautious Wets to Intermediate tire change, which allowed Perez to take overtake them.  Albon took slick tires alongside Schumacher, rolling the dice as they pass the casino.

Sainz came in for dry tires too and Ferrari double-stacked him with LeClerc behind.  The team had radioed him to come in, then to stay out but it was too late.  Once again Ferrari Ferraried their race up.  Red Bull then also double-stacked.  Perez overtook Sainz in the pits; with Verstappen overtaking LeClerc too.

A third of the way in to the race, Mick Schumacher managed a typical Monaco, dramatic spin and crash which led to the Safety Car being deployed.  A few laps later the Red Flag was flown to stop the race and there was so much car to sweep up, both the nose and the back end came off.  A key safety point though: no tires ran free.

After another rolling start, the laps ticked by in a processional format.  The lap counter switched to a clock.  With 10 minutes to go the top 4 (2 Red Bulls and 2 Ferraris) were nose to tail.  It did all come down to tires and pit stop strategy and Red Bull won it with Perez with an old skool over cut.   After all that effort Gasly didn't even get points.  LeClerc commented that this was "abysmal".

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

Not much to say about the first Qualifying session.  Firstly because I didn't see it through an administrative recording error and secondly because it appeared only usual suspects went out: the Williams, Zhou, Gasly (maybe a surprise here) and Stroll.

Again, no huge surprises in Q2.  Ricciardo continues to have abysmal form and was 14th.  Vettel was delighted to be through and Bottas was astonished to be out.  Russell and Alonso just edged it through.

Also there didn't seem to have been any accidents so far (although did something happen with Gasly and a marshall with an errant red flag?).  Then Q3 happened.  All 10 cars were out for a final push, it didn't look like there would be any major changes from the earlier fast laps.  Then Perez slid into the barrier, Sainz didn't see the Yellow Flag and crashed into him.  The drivers came up along the pair and couldn't get past.  Would Sainz get a penalty for going through these flags?  It gave LeClerc the pole, Sainz second and Perez third, costing his team mate any chance of starting the race ahead of him.  Will Perez have to change some car part to move Verstappen up the grid?  It seems team orders are on now for the second driver at Red Bull.  Further back around the grid, Alonso also put his car nose-first in to the wall.  The pressure at Monaco to qualify well showed.  Shall we just award the points now?

Rain was predicted for race day.  A little bit of spice added to the bouillabaisse.  

Monaco GP Race Report

 After a year off, the only year without a Monaco GP other than 1954, this race felt so nostalgic.  The track looks exactly the same as it did throughout my childhood, as it did in all the VT of races from the olden days.  The jewel in F1's crown sparkled brighter this year as a beacon of hope that the world restarts life post-covid, even watched from a lousy Level 3 postcode.

The main talking point before lights out was whether LeClerc's gearbox was definitely undamaged from the Qualifying incident.  Ferrari Team Principal Bennoto assured everyone as much as he could that they were as certain as they could be that it did not need replacing (and thus giving LeClerc a grid penalty).  He seemed to be pretty much ignored by everyone.  As it turned out, the gearbox failed on the way from the pitlane to the grid.  Ferrari rolled the die (despite insisting that they were not gambling) and lost everything at the casino that is Monte Carlo.  The pundits did a 180 and starting insisting it was probably a software problem, having willed him out of the race, they were willing him back in and back to the fairy tale.

As the mechanics struggled to fix the stricken car, the FIA-Team radio made a new appearance and we're all enjoying this new feature.  Ferrari confirmed a pit lane start for the home track prince.  Verstappen therefore got his pole and Bottas second.  Sainz and Norris behind them, given an extra boost.  In the end the damage was terminal and the dream for LeClerc finally fizzled out.  His team mate Sainz went on to drive an anonymous, heads-down race and finish second.

Bottas got a good launch at the start but Verstappen had firmly, nay aggressively, pointed his car across the track to cut off any ambitions he had to lead the race.  We then watched the drivers manage their tires and try not to clip the wall.  For 30 laps.  Then Hamilton pitted.  With no incident.  He got back out on track ahead of Giovanizzi.  Breaking News.  2.2 second stop for Hamilton.  This opened the floodgates.  Bottas came in right after Hamilton and never came out again.  Like many a particularly amateur DIY aficionado, the nut would not come off the tire.

Hamilton was cross to come out of the pits still behind Gasly's Alpha Tauri, then Vettel came out of the pits and something happened, we don't know what as the editor cut to a replay of Stroll doing a corner badly.  At this point, it was business as usual for Lewis, world champion moaning.  

For once, Red Bull pulled an excellent strategy out of the bag, whereas it's usually Mercedes who master the tactics.  Perez came from the back of the Q3 set up to 4th after the first (and usually only) pitstops.  A position he held until the flag fell, despite putting up a good chase after Norris.

Another sad moment of the race was Norris waving at his new teammate Ricciardo as he lapped him.  Karma came back to bite him as his tires started to give way, leaving him vulnerable to losing his podium place.  He was able to keep his track position, no surprise given the circuit.

Ten laps from the end, Hamilton came in for new tires to get the point for fastest lap, at 7th he wasn't far from being outside the top 10 and able to claim it.  (Once again, I state vehemently that I think this caveat sucks.)

Just outside the top ten point-scorers were world champion, Raikkonen, former Monaco winner Ricciardo and twice world champion Alonso.   How the mighty have fallen.

When Verstappen crossed the line to win the race, he also took the lead in the world championship.  A might moment for him and career defining.  A nice young podium, signally exciting racing for years to come.  

And no safety car!

What I want for every race is basically a wider Monaco.  No room for error.  Heartstopping laps.  A short lap keeping the cars together.  But with overtaking.  But no DRS.  This is what I want.

Monaco GP Qualifying Report

Prior to the race Nico Rosberg declared that Mercedes didn't stand a chance of pole on the Riviera, they were too far behind Ferrari and Red Bull at this glittering track.  And he was right.

Immediately prior to Qualifying, both Latifi and Schumacher crashed in FP3.  Haas couldn't/wouldn't fix the car in time, given a penalty identified for a gearbox change.  Williams worked hard, whilst celebrating 750 grand prix, and had the second Williams ready.  If being Mr Saturday was ever important, being so in Monaco is it, so all eyes were watching his team mate Russell.

Would Ferrari do a Monza and pull out all the stops to give Monegasque LeClerc the best chance on race day?  He had the fastest lap in Q2 to set this up.  Will Ferrari prove to be quick at other street and street-style circuits?  Giving us the thrilling excitement of three teams competing at some races this season.  Hard to believe we're only four races in.

At the end of Q1, Mazepin outqualified his team mate for the first time ever...I get the feeling he will be celebrating and bragging to all those who wouldn't know it was because his team mate couldn't go out in his car.  In all fairness, this was because Mazepin didn't crash his car prior to the most important Qualifying session on the calendar.

The surprise exit was two-times world champion Fernando Alonso, which will be a real low for him. He could't get the tires to work.  At this point Mr Saturday, George Russell was ahead of three world champions, Alonso, Vettel and Raikkonen.  Russell did go out in Q2 and was last in the session, did he save tires?  Not sure why he wasn't out for a final push at the end.

The big scalp in Q2 was Ricciardo, finishing 12th to Norris's final grid position of 5th.  Up until this point, it looked like it could go either way for Mercedes, who are infamous for "sandbagging".

It was tense half way through Q3, with three different teams in the top three after their first run.  The Sky commentary team were watching a dark cloud up on the hills, that didn't seem to be moving at all, in case it brought a rainy end to qualifying.  There is always the danger of a yellow flag slowing you down at Monaco too.  Would everyone make it safely through to the end?

Perez was caught out by kerbs and traffic.  Hamilton touched the barrier.  Ultimately LeClerc brought the session to an abrupt red-flag ending, 18 seconds from the end, with a crash, touching the barrier, taking off over the kerb and into the armco.  Rosberg, always the voice of gloom, wondered if there would be any damage to his gearbox which would give him a grid penalty.

Bottas took the safe opportunity of commenting that he was gutted not to have be given his final shot at pole as he felt confident, however we'll never know will we?  Verstappen's times looked more promising to take the pole from LeClerc, he didn't seem too disappointed with how it ended (perhaps relieved it wasn't him in the barrier?).  Understandably, LeClerc was very happy, he felt he had it after Q2 and found it difficult to focus going into Q3.  He says that he has been unlucky here before and not to count his winning chick before it's hatched (my translation), he should be worried, will one crash lead to another when it really counts?

Monaco GP - "That one was for Niki"

Again, hope for an interesting race/outcome rested on LeClerc doing well.  He didn't.  Ferrari made a complacent mistake by not sending him to put in a lap that would qualify.  He said he would risk a crash in order to move up the field during the race.  Lap 10 gave him a puncture and by lap 19 he was out.

The only other interest came from: Verstappen being given a penalty for an unsafe release in the pit lane, six cars coming to gentlemanly stop at a bend and the ongoing discussion between Hamilton and Bono over his tyres.

Has this race had it's day?

What did we learn this week?  Not everyone suits a red baseball cap.

Monaco GP - Results

1. Evel Marque - 330*
2. The Hope Fulls - 313
3. BottHaas - 310
4. Je suis Charlie - 276
5. PickedInAHurry - 275
6. The Pitstop Princess - 210
7. Jack the Lad - 208
8. Hippy F1 - 204
9. Ferrari Rocher - 149
10. Francesco Bernoulli - 147*

* Home track played

Let’s finish this sh*t tomorrow…

Two truths to this statement.

Ricciardo survived an MGU-K failure to register a deserved win…  

…but, unfortunately, at a snail’s pace.  What a sh*t race. 

I’m normally the first to look for the positives in F1.  But in this case, the six-minute highlights video genuinely captured everything notable in the race.  Pfffffffft...

Ricciardo did have an amazing Saturday, though.  His first lap in Q3 was a cool 0.4sec ahead of anyone else and 1.3sec quicker than last year’s pole lap, both of which are astonishing on such a short and twisty track.  Saturday at Monaco is generally much more exciting these days – last year it was Hamilton forgetting to put in a banker, this year it was Mad Max deciding to kiss the walls.  (Glasgow kiss, that is.)

So, let’s ignore all of the other suggestions for how to improve Monaco and go with the only one that will work:  ditch the race, decide the points based on qualy and start the party on the Saturday night.  This would also mean that any F1 drivers (including Alonso) would be able to take part in the Indy 500 from now on.  No more seat-wetting for Button.

And so, on to Canada.  Renault and Honda will both be bringing upgrades, but who are we kidding?  Montreal is Hamilton’s house.  He owns it.  Still, though, I’d love to see Ocon, Gasly, Hulkenberg, Perez and Sainz being able to actually overtake each other in the midfield.  Which one will be getting a seat in one of the top three teams next year?  (Frustratingly, the answer could be ‘none’)

‘til next time…

p.s. “Give Prince Albert a shuey” says Horner.  I heard “Give Schumi a Prince Albert”.  Cue me snorting my tea through my nose.

p.p.s.  Ricciardo’s first ever F1 win was Canada 2014.  Surely he couldn’t…?

And thanks Maximum Attack!

‘Like riding a motorbike round your apartment’: Nelson Piquet Sr

The Monaco Grand Prix – billed as the most glamorous event on the calendar, full of beautiful people, big yachts and massed showing off.  Yet this is half the story (the small half): no one ever mentions the incessant noise and lack of sleep due to Armco being erected all night long and music banging out from apartments all over town as the beautiful people party those nights away.  There is the embarrassment of bringing your vessel to town but not being able to moor it near enough to actually see the track; and worse, knowing that you’ve got to go to Nice to shop at Lidl. 

Sirotkin gave us hope by trying to do the job on a 3 wheeler before getting the message ‘Novichok gotov’ so had to ooze back to Zizzi to serve out his penalty.  We hoped for the best but knew that it was going to be same old, same old – Tigger Riccardo bounced away at the beginning with the wind in his tail trying very hard to pretend that he had problems with his car to fool us into thinking that he might break down.  But we knew it was hopeless – deja vue all over again. 

To be fair, Max V ‘scythed his way through’ (© Muddley Talker) from the rear giving hope that he might have his usual crash along the way and – and – just when we had given up hope of any real action LeClerc forgot he shouldn’t run into the back of people and did.  Even then, no appearance of the safety car to mix up the order a little. 

Who noticed a change in the podium arrangements this year?  We are used to getting a glimpse of the Monegasque Prince Albert in the gloom of a bunker but this year He and his entourage bravely risked a spraying – and got one – on a proper podium.  But was it better? 

Usual excuses from the teams, the commentators, the drivers and ‘celebrities’ (who?) 

The highlight was of course the Shoey; we hoped it might happen and he didn’t let us down.  It made the endurance of 2 hours’ dull racing worth it.

Thanks to Wheels on Fire!

Monaco GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly - 375*
2. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 297
3. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 285
4. Halo, baby! - 267*
5= Evel Marque - 263
5= Maximum Attack! - 263
7. Hasstag#FaceBull - 262
8. Spa Day with a Shooey - 236
9. No Vices Now - 227
10. The Pitstop Princess - 226
11. The Hopefulls - 100
12. Hippy F1 - 178
13. Jack Johnson - 151
14. Wheels on Fire - 130

* Home track played

Monaco GP - Results

1. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 357
2. Evel Marque - 354*
3. Bernie is a hobbit - 339
4. No Vices Now - 315
5= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 310
5= Torque of the Devil - 310
7. The Pitstop Princess - 305
8. Moneyball - 276
9. Slightly Slower Racing - 254
10 Beauty & the F1 Geek - 250
11. BOT-RAI-PER - 245
12= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 240
12= Even More Hopeful - 240
14. Burn After Racing - 216
15. Hippy F1 - 203

Monaco GP - "Does it look comfortable?"

*** THE PITSTOP PRINCESS IS CURRENTLY ENJOYING A RESTORATIVE BREAK IN AN NHS HEALTH SPA. IN TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE, THE PART OF ‘THE NARRATOR’ WILL BE PLAYED BY MONEYBALL ***

After being asked to guest-write this blog, I watched the full race and post-race reaction on All4 in the wee small hours of Sunday night. (I skipped the pre-race dinner with royalty, as I object to modern-day slavery…)

After a weekend where competitors spectacularly blew up in other sports (Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup, Chelsea gifting Arsene a new contract instead of the boot, Alonso – literally – in Indy, and ‘everyone else but the eventual winner’ in the PGA Championship), would the Monaco GP have the same drama?
No, of course not. For the most part, it was a procession, punctuated only by pit-stop leap-frogs, ‘optimistic’ passing attempts and some drivers forgetting how cold brakes and tyres work (i.e. they don’t).
Still, it was beautiful weather in a stunning backdrop, and Vettel’s (deserved) victory really sets up the remainder of the season, particularly the next race in Canada. Can we just assume it’ll be Mercedes’ to win? The frequency of their off weekends seems to be increasing…

There were some funny moments in the coverage too, notably:
· Jaw-dropping naivety from a 3-time world champion in qualifying: crashes are inevitable – get a time in, you arrogant idiot!
· Channel 4’s foreshadowing of a controversial winner with the #1984 pre-race segment;
· DC morphing into Donald Trump with his outrageous tan and genuine lines such as "I'm a big fan of beautiful ladies". Oh dear god. (The Sky Sports grid-walker obviously heard it too – she was all actual pointy elbows when DC was trying to steal an interviewee…)
· On the grid-walk, Webber asking Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeene – "What can you do, mate?" Really Mark? The answer is “Disappoint”, as usual;
· Button and Alonso’s radio love-in, which seemed genuinely warm… …like Button’s pee;
· Bottas’s dead-pan response to "Only if you're comfortable, strat6". Well played, sir, well played.
· Max confounding pundits with wit, grace and maturity after the race – "That's racing – today we were unlucky". Bet that’s not what he said in the motorhome, though…
· Beauty and the F1 Geek refusing to take her eyes off the screen and stopping her son from chatting to her with the putdown “Shhh Harry - it's Chris Hemsworth”. True story.
Speaking of the Hemsworth, both DC and Webber identified him as being the star of Thor (ummm, not Rush??) and Chris mentioned it was his first F1 race (ummm, not method then??).

As for the racing?
· Pity poor Perez, who gets caught behind Stroll and Palmer at the same time. Took him another 15-20 laps to eventually get past these duds. How long until they are replaced? Place your bets…
· At one point, the racing was so dull that the commentators start talking about how hard it is to man the pit boards during the Monaco GP. I don’t doubt this, but it’s certainly a new low for topics of discussion.
· However, all of this dullness was overshadowed by the frankly explosive 2 or 3 laps where Vettel and Ricciardo were unleashed and made their moves up the leaderboard. I was stunned and gripped by the on-board footage of these two hammering round such a twisty, tight course, millimetres from the barriers and taking 1 to 2 seconds off their previous times. Wow – just wow.

Actually, I’ll sign off on that theme. Anyone who doubts the talent or commitment of F1 drivers (in particular, ageing ones) should watch those laps and the Race of Champions 2017 highlights, also on All4. Button and DC were very competitive in ROC and Massa was genuinely bossing it, only getting DQ'd from the semis on a technicality...
Until next time!

Monaco GP - "Just save it...nothing youse can say can make that any better"

Gambling big

Ricciardo - was that really his first pole?
Engine failure in Qualifying 3 - a glimmer of hope from Hamilton
Wet race - promised such a lot...
"He flies through the air with the greatest of ease..." - Verstappen mounts the kerb
Clever strategy - Hamilton's team did a great job
Force India - brought a strong race, Perez third and Hulkenberg sixth
Ricciardo - using the Scottish vernacular

Losing it all

Safety car start - what are these drivers paid for?
Palmer - crashing to bring out another safety car just as we'd got rid of the first one
Raikkonen - taking a good driver [himself] out of the race
More bad luck for Ricciardo - a 13.5 second pit stop.  Just seems impossible for Red Bull.
Brundle looking for a jacket to wear for the podium interviews - who dropped out during the race?  Bieber?
Team orders - worked out well for Sauber
4 Monte Carlo wins in a row - not for Rosberg
Bieber??? - rocking the Angus hair cut though!