Korean GP - "tricky but very well done"

Firstly, apologies for the late posting - away in London visiting Still Chewing.

Going Up

Sauber - where have they got this pace from?  And can they give some to Williams?
Great race - if you ignore Vettel, obviously
Grosjean's accent - Red Booll

Going Down

People telling you the result before you've seen the race
Di Resta - 5 races, 5 crashes - and everyone wondered why Sauber took Hulkenberg?
Heat cam - I don't understand the point anymore, this race they showed us that fire is hot
Webber - 2 races, 2 fires - Brundle: "If Mark Webber didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all."
Rosberg's nose failure - the worst I've seen since Michael Jackson
No points for Williams
Geeky pre-podium chat - if in doubt talk about tyres
The Herbert Dilemma - what do you ask Vettel about on the podium?  That tricky overtake?  Fighting his way up from down the grid?  His battle with another driver?
Right Front Tyres

Korean GP Results

1. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 1,111
2. What up Bianchi? - 1,009
3. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 1,003
4. The Winner Takes Vet Tel - 931
5. Still Chewing - 844
6. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 816
7. Rowntree's Randoms - 790
8. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 772
9. The Sutil Knife - 691
10. Hippy F1 - 684
11. The Pitstop Princess - 676
12. Superstars - 630
13. Schumacher's Ghost - 627
14. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 564
15. The Baldy Biker - 432
16. The Dark Button - 425
17. 100% British Beef Horsepower - 414
18. Year of the Tifosi - 410

Korean GP Banter - "woohoo"

As Jake said when closing the BBC coverage, not a classic race but jiggles up the championship.

It kicked off with Grosjean eating a hefty slice of humble pie but he managed to keep his slate clean during this race.  To keep the crashes coming, Kobabashi returned to old form.  Unfortunately, he took out a couple of drivers who could have made the race interesting.  Instead the only thing that made it interesting was Hulkenberg and feral astroturf.

Going in to the last five races, things have become sadly predictable Schumacher-style, Vettel is going to dominate and everyone else will process along behind him.  Let's home that Webber finally cracks and disobeys team orders, some miraculous new part sends Alonso's Ferrari into warp speed or it rains a lot.

Korean GP - Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Monisha Kaltenborn - first female team principal
2. (new entry) Hulkenberg - my driver of the day for that double overtake round the outside of Hamilton and Grosjean
3. (new entry) Vettel's water-bottle carrier - would be very useful when I'm teaching to have someone on hand to pass me my water

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Bedward - unable to recognise cars, which I would have thought would have been an "essential" on the job description:  "Senna's on a lap, what can he achieve" - on the screen he's driving in the pits
2. (new entry) Gangyam Style - please no more, a peculiarly Asian-style of torture
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su1mVnhIDrM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qOcFmQhttU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igmZUnqH258 - the most painful....stick with it
3. (new entry) Beeb build-up - a poor combination of the above, a compilation of Grosjean's Greatest Hits and Coulthard informing us that to be quick a driver needs to take the racing line
4. (new entry) Johnny Herbert - the barrel continues to be scraped for podium interviewers
5. (new entry) Rubber in slotgaps - enough already

Korean GP Results

1. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 854
2. The Pitstop Princess - 818
3. Wyld Stallyns - 807
4. Better the Vettel you know - 801
5. White Jeans - 788
6. KAMIKAZE KOBAYASHI! - 782
7. Still Chewing - 777
8. La Pic di Resta - 769
9. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 740
10. Crash of the Titans - 650
11. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 642
12. Hippy F1 - 634
13. Ferrari Fanatic - 619
14. Parke's Winners - 614
15. Push Pete's Button - 599
16. The Lord of the Wings - 593
17. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 559

Korean GP - "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes"

Or no.

Firstly, can someone tell me what are all these "difficulties" that Hamilton is suffering from? As far as I can see, he has a supportive network of family, friends and colleagues. He is driving the second best car in F1. He is loaded. Is it because he is......No. Is it because Button has had his contract renewed? Is it because whinge is his default state?

Changes to the build-up this race included no Eddie Jordan, which meant Jake had to find a different person to play with and Karun Chandock always talks sense. Approved. Unusually for this time of the year, there was no "whose going where" chat. Apparantly 20 drivers are lined up for the two seats at Williams, that must make us the most popular choice in the pit lane. Yay. I have decided that I prefer races that go down to the wire. It means we don't get endless "Vettel is champion" packages. Then, having seen far too much of him before the race, we saw nothing of him during the race.

My closing question to you all is what did Alonso's "I give up. I give up." message mean?

Until the next race, never mind the bollards.

Korean GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Vettel praising the Renault engine - if Red Bull can achieve so much with it, just imagine what Williams will do!

2. (new entry) Hamilton on pole - just because he's not driving a Red Bull.

3.(new entry) Top 5 times - so close, makes it that wee bit more exciting.

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Korea - why? Bring back one of the classic European races.

2. (re-entry) Tyre chat - booooooring

3. (re-entry) Clapping ladies - this time, nearly naked, enough now Bernie.

4. (re-entry) Trophy - or weapon?

5. (new entry) Red Bull's awful choice of music - money can't buy you taste.

Korean GP Results

1. Glock, Stock and Two Smoking Constructors - 985

2. Besta di Resta - 982

3. Still Chewing - 972

4. The Pitstop Princess - 889

5. Gurning Rubber - 886

6. Trulli Scrumptious - 877

7. Lord of the Wings - 847

8. The Best Team - 846

9. Fuelled by Tiger Blood - 785

10. Must do better... - 730

11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 712

12. Ferrari Fanatic - 554

13. Hippy F1 - 431

14. Wheelie Wheelie Fast - 421

Korea Charts

Chart of Lust

1. Stewards bank of television screens - that's where I'd like to watch the race from.
2. Rubber galoshes - very practical.
3. FIA announcer - "Well done gentlemen", maintaining that cool, hip vibe the marketing folk have spent so long garnering.
4. (re-entry) Rain - I got a lot of knitting done today.
5. (down 2) Comebacks - Schumacher, at last, there's no fun in despising him when he just keeps proving the point.

Chart of Loathing

1. Bunch of jesse's - get out there and race. Some of us live in Scotland, where this is the norm.
2. Mission Control - really? It's a room with no window,s full of geeks in grey who aren't important enough to spend the money shipping them to the race.
3. Ozzies - Rosberg was doing so well!
4. Rain - it's raining, it's poring, the audience is snoring.
5. Shots of cute Korean kids - would like to see some racing please, TV director. Oh no, there isn't any of that to show is there?

Korea GP Banter - "Beautiful. Beautiful. Avanti Ferrari avanti."

Well I hope you didn't get up at crazy o'clock to watch a lot of not-racing? Even DC thought it was embarrassing that the best drivers in the world, in the most sophisticated cars were following around a modified road car through a spot of precipitation. And it's not often you'll catch me agreeing with The Jaw. Perhaps weather forecasting should be banned, that way they'd all go out and just see what happened.


In an effort to stop the EJ-DC bickering, the two had been separated by thousands of miles by sending DC to Woking to sit in "Mission Control" at McLaren HQ. Did this make coverage any better? Nope. We just had DC on a time delay despite the fact that he was in the same country as us. I assume he is no longer a Red Bull employee and this was all an elaborate way to get an mole inside their rival's offices.


Overall the BBC's coverage was particularly disappointing, what with the endless, uninspired footage about the 5 championship contenders, DC starting every sentence with "It's fascinating..." and Ledgard mistaking Rosberg (in a yellow helmet and white suit) for Webber (in a blue helmet and blue suit). There was no explanation of Petrov's retirement or of Hulkenberg overtaking Alguasauri for points.


At the close of the race Red Bull had failed to win the constructor's championship and Williams failed to overtake Force India, despite running 5th and 6th until very nearly the nail-biting end. Webber also confirmed just how poor his driving is in wet conditions. A fact that those of us who sat in the rain watching him spin in front of us over and over again at Silverstone in 2008 will confirm. Certain people will also be pleased that Schumacher finally delivered the goods with a solid points finish. One of only 15 drivers that did finish.

Korea Caption Competition

Please post your entry as a comment...

Korea GP Results - Revised

1. Liuzzi goes bananas - 915
2. Que Senna Senna - 906
3. Blood on the tracks - 825
4. The Lord of the Wings - 785
5. Chew Chew Joe - 754
6. Corpus Christi - Trimble - 737
7. Hippy F1 - 714
8. The Young and the Restless - 683
9. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 674
10. Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 648
11= You will never see me in Lederhosen - 645
11= The Pitstop Princess - 645
13. Wheely wheely fast - 534
14. Ferrari Fanatic - 278

Sorry. If children could teach themselves, then I'd have brainspace for this malarky.