Monday, 11 June 2018

Canada GP - "Grande vittoria, bravissima...and other Italianish"

Brundle: "It wasn't an all time classic, was it?"  Were you glad the chequered flag was waved early?

Grosjean's engine blowing in the pit lane as he left for Q1 was a sign that this race was to be all smoke.

There was suffering in the first lap as Hartley took Canadian Stroll out and brought out the safety car too early in the race for it spice it up.   Will Kvyat be back in a Toro Rosso seat soon?  Sainz and Perez meeting did nothing to alter the race either.  The commentators tried to bring out the old "how many stops?" chat to add suspense but Pirelli had said one stop was the way to go and no one was going to do any different no matter how many times pundits mentioned that you could make two stops.  I was also disappointed that Hammertime worked this race and Lewis overtook Raikkonen in the pits.  More pain when the driver we all want to see really racing, Alonso, retired on his three hundreded race, five years since he last won a race.  Will Kvyat be back in a McLaren seat soon?

I am also disliking the Live Points graphic.  Anyone else thought it was the order of the race a few times?

Brundle thinks it's the rest of the season is going to be all about who makes the fewest mistakes.  Sounds riveting.

Canada GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly - 450*
2. Evel Marque - 383*
3. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 360
4. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 351
5. Maximum Attack! - 323
6. Halo, baby! - 307*
7. Hasstag#FaceBull - 301
8. The Pitstop Princess - 266
9. No Vices Now - 257
10. Spa Day with a Shooey - 256
11. The Hopefulls - 213
12. Hippy F1 - 210
13. Jack Johnson - 175
14. Wheels on fire - 166

* Home track played

Thursday, 31 May 2018

Let’s finish this sh*t tomorrow…

Two truths to this statement.

Ricciardo survived an MGU-K failure to register a deserved win…  

…but, unfortunately, at a snail’s pace.  What a sh*t race. 

I’m normally the first to look for the positives in F1.  But in this case, the six-minute highlights video genuinely captured everything notable in the race.  Pfffffffft...

Ricciardo did have an amazing Saturday, though.  His first lap in Q3 was a cool 0.4sec ahead of anyone else and 1.3sec quicker than last year’s pole lap, both of which are astonishing on such a short and twisty track.  Saturday at Monaco is generally much more exciting these days – last year it was Hamilton forgetting to put in a banker, this year it was Mad Max deciding to kiss the walls.  (Glasgow kiss, that is.)

So, let’s ignore all of the other suggestions for how to improve Monaco and go with the only one that will work:  ditch the race, decide the points based on qualy and start the party on the Saturday night.  This would also mean that any F1 drivers (including Alonso) would be able to take part in the Indy 500 from now on.  No more seat-wetting for Button.

And so, on to Canada.  Renault and Honda will both be bringing upgrades, but who are we kidding?  Montreal is Hamilton’s house.  He owns it.  Still, though, I’d love to see Ocon, Gasly, Hulkenberg, Perez and Sainz being able to actually overtake each other in the midfield.  Which one will be getting a seat in one of the top three teams next year?  (Frustratingly, the answer could be ‘none’)

‘til next time…

p.s. “Give Prince Albert a shuey” says Horner.  I heard “Give Schumi a Prince Albert”.  Cue me snorting my tea through my nose.

p.p.s.  Ricciardo’s first ever F1 win was Canada 2014.  Surely he couldn’t…?

And thanks Maximum Attack!

‘Like riding a motorbike round your apartment’: Nelson Piquet Sr

The Monaco Grand Prix – billed as the most glamorous event on the calendar, full of beautiful people, big yachts and massed showing off.  Yet this is half the story (the small half): no one ever mentions the incessant noise and lack of sleep due to Armco being erected all night long and music banging out from apartments all over town as the beautiful people party those nights away.  There is the embarrassment of bringing your vessel to town but not being able to moor it near enough to actually see the track; and worse, knowing that you’ve got to go to Nice to shop at Lidl. 

Sirotkin gave us hope by trying to do the job on a 3 wheeler before getting the message ‘Novichok gotov’ so had to ooze back to Zizzi to serve out his penalty.  We hoped for the best but knew that it was going to be same old, same old – Tigger Riccardo bounced away at the beginning with the wind in his tail trying very hard to pretend that he had problems with his car to fool us into thinking that he might break down.  But we knew it was hopeless – deja vue all over again. 

To be fair, Max V ‘scythed his way through’ (© Muddley Talker) from the rear giving hope that he might have his usual crash along the way and – and – just when we had given up hope of any real action LeClerc forgot he shouldn’t run into the back of people and did.  Even then, no appearance of the safety car to mix up the order a little. 

Who noticed a change in the podium arrangements this year?  We are used to getting a glimpse of the Monegasque Prince Albert in the gloom of a bunker but this year He and his entourage bravely risked a spraying – and got one – on a proper podium.  But was it better? 

Usual excuses from the teams, the commentators, the drivers and ‘celebrities’ (who?) 

The highlight was of course the Shoey; we hoped it might happen and he didn’t let us down.  It made the endurance of 2 hours’ dull racing worth it.

Thanks to Wheels on Fire!

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

Monaco GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly - 375*
2. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 297
3. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 285
4. Halo, baby! - 267*
5= Evel Marque - 263
5= Maximum Attack! - 263
7. Hasstag#FaceBull - 262
8. Spa Day with a Shooey - 236
9. No Vices Now - 227
10. The Pitstop Princess - 226
11. The Hopefulls - 100
12. Hippy F1 - 178
13. Jack Johnson - 151
14. Wheels on Fire - 130

* Home track played