Tuesday 25 November 2014

Abu Dhabi GP - "Woo hoo...world champion, I can't believe it"

Hooray

Access all areas - Rosberg was allowed backstage to congratulate Hamilton.  A little moment of love shared.  How unlike FoM.
Contentious doughnuts - from Hamilton
Caterham - made it to Abu Dhabi, now we are waiting for our merch
Bottas - third in the drivers' championship
Not giving up - a lesson from Rosberg to many other drivers
Yachts - yes please
Face cam - especially good showing the moments of radio from Rosberg
The podium - a Williams double and the world champion got a spot too
Double points made no difference
 
Expecting better next year...

Contentious doughnuts - permission denied to Rosberg
Old school fire - from Maldonado
Tweeting - desperate tweets from Mercedes to fix Rosberg's car, I don't think this was the best use of resources in this case
Superimposed graphics - I'm sure Lewis appreciated seeing he was on course to win the championship lap after lap
If the race finishes now... - started 14 laps in
Losing hope - would the start replay show that Hamilton had jumped it?  Will he get a poor pitstop?
Poor starts - Bottas and Rosberg
Alonso/Button battle - we barely saw one move of this battle between champions
Prince Harry on the radio - bizarre?

Lastly, thanks everyone for playing this year.  I'll offer an enormous apology for the erratic and often late posts (I'm not taking any responsibility for this and entirely blaming Baby Pitstop) and look forward to seeing where testing leaves us in February.

Monday 24 November 2014

Update

Banter to follow!

Abu Dhabi & Final Fantasty Formula 1 Results - 2014

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes!! - 1,762
2. No Vices Now - 1,304
3. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 1,282
4. The Hopefuls - 1,236
5. The Pitstop Princess - 1,184
6. The View from the Back of the Grid - 1,156
7. The Mercs - 1,113
8. Hippy F1 - 1,109
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 945
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 944
11. The Baldy Biker - 895
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 646
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 574
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 379

Cheques in the post to the Top 3!

Monday 10 November 2014

Reminder

Baby Pitstop willing - I will be tweeting along to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix...@pitstopprincess

Brazil GP - "Woohoo...charge the battery"

A tense race for those of us in Team Rosberg...

Samba in delight for:

Crowd funding for Caterham - pledges have been made
Renegade behaviour - Kimi skipped the anthem in Texas
Telling it like it us - Hamilton: "I've got blisters [on my tyres]."  Pitwall: "You manage it, don't lock up."
Censorship - bleeping out Massa's swear
The return of blistering tyres - adding a little more interest
Rally driving - as demonstrated by Hamilton
Wrong garage - doh Massa!
Biased coverage - we haven't seen so much of Massa in a long time and no one else this year seems to have received this at their home race
Mucking about - Piquet and Lauder
4 world champions battling
"My Daddy drives for Williams" T-shirt - sported by Felipe Junior
Honest press statements - Raikkonen: "I don't think the team cared which order we finished in"

Accompanied by security:

Button - is he staying at McLaren?  Is he going elsewhere? Not if Sky have anything to do with it.
The three car discussion - tell us when it's over
Speeding in the pit lane - how is it still possible?  Massa?
Williams - managing to sabotage every opportunity they create for themselves - Bottas's seatbelt malfunction (we don't have this problem with Baby Pitstop's seatbelt), Bottas's front wing,  Massa's pitstop...
Front jack failure - Kimi's first decent race ruined
Nelson Piquet - we thought Jordan's podium interviews were the worst - Hamilton didn't even say anything in response to his first question/statement
4th to 6th in the championship - argh, Bottas!
Has there been a spot of engineering trouble or has Ebola broken out in the pitlane? - Horner: "We need to quarantine those parts."

Lastly, is anyone else surprised that the BBC didn't superimpose poppies onto overalls?

Brazil GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes - 1,614
2. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 1,174
3. The Hopefuls - 1,171
4. No Vices Now - 1,152
5. The Pitstop Princess - 1,105
6. The View from the Back of the Grid - 1,038*
7. Hippy F1 - 1,010
8. The Mercs - 995
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 877
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 852
11. The Baldy Biker - 791
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 570
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 500
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 369

* Home track

Monday 3 November 2014

Advance Notice

Baby Pitstop permitting, I am planning a live race tweet-a-long for Abu Dhabi.  If you don't follow me already, it's @pitstopprincess.  I'm hoping it will be a great way for us all to share the disappointment of double points.

US GP - "Get in there, mate"

This week the Pitstop Princess is delighted to have a week off and hand over the banter reins to the League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers.  The views expressed do not represent those of the blogger.

Yee-Ha!
· Sutil’s qually heroics – his first gridwalk interview in years (we’d forgotten he could talk)
· Midfield magic – A ten car squabble that made the race
· Missing the change of lead (on live coverage) – The Alonso/Vettel battle was more interesting overall
· Matt Le Blanc mania – Grosjean’s Le Blanc helmet is the best thing Lotus have done all season
· Radio classics – “stay after those Willies”
Hell No
· Sergio Perez- Ruining races in less than a lap now;
· Vettel starting from the pitlane – Regulations that kill competition and the most pointless qually lap ever;
· Celeb overload – Keanu Reeves, Pamela Anderson, Gordon Ramsey, and the ubiquitous Halliwell;
· Redneck beards – Ricciardo;
· Teams dropping like flies – Caterham, Marussia & Co. could be saved simply by Lewis Hamilton and Bob Fernley selling their chavy necklaces;

US GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes!! - 1,513
2= Mercrari Hulkenassa - 1,098
2= The Hopefuls - 1,098
4. No Vices Now - 1,076
5. The Pitstop Princess - 1,046
6. The Mercs - 954
7. Hippy F1 - 937
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 908
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 824
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 804
11. The Baldy Biker - 754
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 525
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 474
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 347

Sunday 12 October 2014

Russian GP - "history in the making"

Da

The inaugural Russian Grand Prix - say what you like about Putin but he can stage a sporting event
Russian-themed helmets - a la Vettel
Ericcson beating Massa in Q1
McLaren - rising like a phoenix from the ashes

Nyet

Remembering Jules Bianchi - not saying it shouldn't be done but it appears to be mainly using hashtags and standing in a circle
Massa beaten by Ericcson in Q1
Faff for the national anthem - I don't get it, my sense of national pride is clearly not as strong as others
Slow pit lane speed limit - Hamilton had time to take both hands off the wheel mid-race to adjust his gloves
Let the drivers do the driving - message to Vettel: "Respect the beeps"
Grosjean's penalty - a poor decision by the stewards
Putin - have we had so much television coverage of any other state leaders during an F1 race?
Petrov - anyone else completely forgotten about him until this weekend?
Lauder - is taking Lewis Hamilton home in his plane..doesn't Rosberg live in Monaco too?
Sochi - the new Valencia - dull, dull, dull

Russian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!! - 1,415
2. The Hopefuls - 1,040
3. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 1,035
4= The Pitstop Princess - 995
4= No Vices Now - 995
6. The Mercs - 929
7. Hippy F1 - 888
8. The View from the  Back of the Grid - 843
9. League of extraordinary pay drivers - 781
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 759
11. The Baldy Biker - 714
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 501
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 416
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 331

Tuesday 7 October 2014

Japan GP

Kawaii

Breaking news - Vettel to leave Red Bull.  Marussia's gain?
Rise of the teenagers - Kvyat to Red Bull and Verstappen lives out a 17 year old's dream
BFF - Seb and Kimi, who knew? Apparently they hang out in Zurich and travel in the same plane
The return of the gazebos
Moving to inters - inspired move by Button
Suitcases - loving the "Congratulations to 1st place" suitcases in the pre-podium room

No thank you

BBC's video game intro - even the PS addict in the hoose didn't like it
Cagoules - who travels to Japan without a waterproof?  Nige.
DC's grid walk - poor
Needy - Hamilton's calls to get the safety car in
Hair - still Hamilton
Uncertainty - with Bianchi's crash, what is the future of wet races?

Japan GP

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 1,313
2. The Hopefuls - 982
3. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 967
4. The Pitstop Princess - 936
5. No Vices Now - 912
6. The Mercs - 886
7. Hippy F1 - 832
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 783
9. League of extraordinary pay drivers - 736
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 733
11. The Baldy Biker - 657
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 432
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 397
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 313

Monday 22 September 2014

Singapore GP - "Nice work...Great stuff"

Dazzling

Obligatory glitter-added helmets - shiny, shiny
Competitive instinct - Rosberg: "dammit"
Pre-race tension - would Rosberg's and Kvyat's cars be ready for the race?  No and yes.
Sutil - "pointless in 2014"!
Ericson - scoring you 15 points for moving up 17 places
 The result of running on bald tyres - Massa: "driving like a grandma"

Down a dark alley

Hamilton's crotch adjustment - is there nothing better to capture during qualifying?
Hamilton's tattoos - "44" behind the ear
Lack of radio - whether or not it ruins the racing, the race did seem duller without it
No more instructions of the radio - how's it planning out?  Ricciardo was told to avoid corners and Magnussen was told not to drink.  Everyone's scared of the stewards!
The Wrong Tyres - for Maldonado - why not keep going on them?
Williams' tyre strategy - wrong, again!
Bad hair days - Hamilton, Mallya
Breaking looms - what happened inside Rosberg's steering column to end his race - I know plenty of children who could spare one for him
Tantrums - Guittierrez does a Hamilton
Chavvy jewelry - Hamilton's double cherub necklace

Singapore GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 1,220
2. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 914
3. The Hopefuls - 909
4. The Pitstop Princess - 890
5. No Vices Now - 849
6. The Mercs - 835
7. Hippy F1 - 778
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 726
9. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 694
10. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 689
11. The Baldy Biker - 635
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 406
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 368
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 313

Sunday 14 September 2014

Formula E

Just given this exciting new formula a bash.  Was quite excited about the line up of has been drivers - Prost (Nick and Alain), Alguasuari, Buemi, Sam Bird, Senna, Heidfeld...

Had to switch it off half a lap in as the "engines" sound like fingernails being dragged down a chalkboard.

Monday 8 September 2014

Italian GP - "Beautifully recovered"

Si

Re-signing for Williams - yay!  Bottas!
Poor starts - yay!  Hamilton!
Overtaking - a great job done by Bottas
Cute phrases - "Ricciardo's made a monkey of Vettel": Gareth
Massa's first podium - for Williams
Speaking Italian - how to alienate Hamilton
Flags - "Freedom for Lombardi" and "King's Lynn"

No

Re-signing for Williams - oh dear!  Massa!  I assume he pays his way.
Poor starts - boo!  Bottas!  Held up by Hamilton.
Awful tyre/pitstop strategies - Williams
Feeling sorry for Alonso - a rare mechanical DNF for him but in Italy.
Halliwell - the new PCD
Alesi's Eurotrash trainers

Italian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 1,154
2. The Pitstop Princess - 866
3. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 861
4. The Hopefuls - 854
5. No Vices Now - 803
6. Hippy F1 - 759
7. The Mercs - 758
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 687
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 658
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 630
11. The Baldy Biker - 605
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 393
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 340
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 285

Monday 25 August 2014

Belgian GP - "If you can keep your head..."

Oui

Reportage shots of fries and mayo
Magnussen - sporting a loom  band and no cap
Mercedes touch on Lap 2 - grimly inevitable
Hamilton's kevlar revenge on Rosberg
The Raikkonaissance

Non

Bernie's ramblings - is it diplomacy (as EJ suggests) or senility
Hamilton - he wanted to quit the race, they needed a moving billboard.  He doesn't enjoy driving for driving's sake I guess
"Squeezy squeezy" - Bedward
No rain - come on 2014 season, just a few more drips of water please
Finishing 13th - someone should tell Massa that the number 13 is unlucky in Britain
Booing - Rosberg didn't win and he's a nicer chap as Hamilton is at least

On le fence

Horner's beard - surely Halliwell's doing
17 year old drivers - I still worry when I go over 45mph and I'm twice his age

Belgian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 1,047
2. The Pitstop Princess - 828
3. The Hopefuls - 781
4. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 741
5. No Vices Now - 717
6.Hippy F1 - 715
7. The Mercs - 685
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 615
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 613*
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 600
11. The Baldy Biker - 519
12.Magnussen Benz Over Button - 367
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 305
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 281

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Time to pay up!

Calling Magnussen Benz Over Button, The Mercs, Beauty & the F1 Geek, Hippy F1 and Ch-ch-ch-changes!

If you have paid, remind me and I'll blame it on baby brain!

Hungarian GP - "absolutely amazing...sensational"

Yes please

Flame-grilled Lewis - another retro F1 event
Big Heads - did you spot the faux Lewis and Fernando in the pit lane?
First rain of the season - I'm not used to so much crashing
Vettel on the radio - "negative negative" (thinks he's a cop?)
Close finishes
Lovely, elegant trophies

No thanks

Qually upsets - Bianchi takes out Raikkonen
Hamilton wears a rosary - do we call the fashion police or the Swiss Guard?
They don't make 'em like they used to - drivers can no longer cope with a wet qually
Force India - drivers taking each other out
Poor tyre strategies - poor Button
Haliwell - hanging out with Horner

Hungarian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 1,007
2. The Pitstop  Princess - 742
3. The Hopefuls - 733
4. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 689
5. No Vices Now - 684
6. The Mercs - 671
7. Hippy F1 - 654
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 570
9. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 522
10. League of extraordinary pay drivers - 521
11. The Baldy Biker - 459
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 351
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 280
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 257

Monday 21 July 2014

German GP - "G shift 12. Pick up rubber"

Ja

Surprising Quotes - Horner: "Red Bull would take a second row"
Female marshals
Team Radio - To Perez: "Please lift and coast...you can't rely on rain...this is the last time I'm warning you."
Secret codes - To Hamilton: "Menu Magic Button 2."  Hamilton: "I've never heard of it."
Hulkcam - swivels and everything.
"Pooer" - how Grosjean pronounces...
Retro year - can now add Kvyat on fire to V6 engines
0.0 - the time difference between Alonso and Ricciardo's finish time
Mattiacci - Kimi needs to work harder

Nein

Massa - time to retire
No awkward bit before the podium - I love the awkward bit

German GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 943
2. The Pitstop Princess - 670
3. The Hopefuls - 661
4. The Mercs - 641
5. No Vices Now - 633
6. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 626
7. Hippy F1 - 601
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 521
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 486
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 440
11. The Baldy Biker - 407
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 339
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 260
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 213

Wednesday 9 July 2014

GB GP - "You cannot touch this"

Hooray

Qualifying 12th - congrats Marussia
107% rule - it's been a while old friend, brought out for Caterham
Overtaking - Alonso and Bottos enlivening the race
Fighting - Alonso, Vettel and Button all put in a good show

Disappointed

Slebs - Osborne (surprised that Coulthard recognised him given that  none of his money goes that way), Vorderman, Niomi Campbell, Fassbender, boring
Q1 - Williams and Ferrari out, poor show
Slebs - Eric Clapton is Massa's biggest fan - clearly doesn't watch much F1
Schoolboy errors - overshooting the grid slot, Alonso
Snitching - Button, Alonso and Vettel
Hamilton's hair

British GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 862
2. The Pitstop Princess - 595*
3. The Mercs - 581
4. The Hopefuls - 576*
5. No Vices Now - 573*
6. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 570
7. Hippy F1 - 548*
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 463
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 440
10. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 402
11. The Baldy Biker - 361
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 325
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 230
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses no Donkeys - 193

* Home track

Monday 23 June 2014

The Pitstop Princess takes to Facebook

In new technological advances, you can now follow The Pitstop Princess on Facebook.  Let me know if you'd like a "comment along" during a race, results to be published there, more notifications, more competitions.

Austrian GP - "Go strat 1 and pick up rubber"

Ja

Williams 1, 2 grid positions
Cousins - who knew James Dyson was Patrick Head's cousin?
Dirndls - much better than the usual grid girl outfits
Hamilton's radio - "it's hammer time"
Perez radio - "You can press the overtake button for two laps...use it wisely."
Webber's podium interview - stirring up the tension in Mercedes

Nein

Epic Fails - Hamilton's qualifying
The blame game - Rosberg blames Hamilton's spin for not securing pole
Bumps - There was always going to be some bump that knocked William's chances of winning this race.  The first potential bump was receiving a grid penalty - bump avoided.  Second bump could have been losing it all at the start - swerved that one.  Third bump to be missed is poor pit stops - yep, there we go.
Sycophantic superimposed graphics on the circuit

Austrian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 812
2= Mercrari Hulkenassa - 533
2= The Mercs - 533
4= The Pitstop Princess - 475
4= No Vices Now - 475
6. Hippy F1 - 474
7. The Hopefuls - 466
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 420
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 411
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 354
11. The Baldy Biker - 302
12. Magnussen Benz over Button - 283
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 202*
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 177

* Home track

Saturday 21 June 2014

Thursday 12 June 2014

Canadian GP - *sobs*

Yes

Adrian Newey - staying at Red Bull, but not in F1, a chance for everyone else to catch up
Classic race start - lots of excitement
Bottas' pit stop - 2.6 quick seconds, at last Williams pull it off
Massa passes Alonso - schadenfreude
Overtaking - so much of it, best race of the season, I think (please comment if you disagree)
Canadian crowd
Australian national anthem - long time since we've heard it

No

Suzie's yellow boots - a bit Fireman Sam
Button - so gaunt
Adrian Newey - staying at Red Bull, no chance for another team to receive the magic
Massa's pit stop - 7 long seconds
Hoagy?
Williams throw away another race...
Poor Perez - what a shame
Massa/Perez - a Grosjean style incident, if it had been him what would the other drivers be saying?
Button's interview - finding the negative in the positive

Canadian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 661
2. The Mercs - 457
3. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 450
4. The Pitstop Princess - 425
5. The Hopefuls - 423
6. Hippy F1 - 406
7. No Vices Now - 372
8. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 365
9. The View from the Back of the Grid - 349
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 335
11. The Baldy Biker - 248
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 238
13. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 156
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 148

Monday 2 June 2014

Monaco GP - "Mighty job. Mighty"

Oui

Raikkonen's start
Marussia - scoring their first points

Non

Ericsson in Qually - poor, shoddy, ban him.
Ricciardo - looked very, very nervous on the grid
Kvyat - what a shame
Hamilton - back to "toys out the pram" days
Raikkonen's mystery Safety Car stop
Williams' tactics
8 DNF - the most so far, very retro
Benedict Cumberbatch's interview - make him stop
Marussia - can't afford PR training - "I did a really sh*t start"

Monaco GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 610
2. The Mercs - 437
3. The Hopefuls - 390
4. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 383
5. The Pitstop Princess - 367
6. Hippy F1 - 334
7. No Vices Now - 331
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 324
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 321
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 261
11. The Baldy Biker - 226
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 148
13. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 139
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 127

Sunday 11 May 2014

Spanish GP - "Pretty close for comfort"

Not much to write about for this race.  It was a bit of a procession with a couple of exceptions, see below.

Si

Bottas' start - I wasn't sure whether his start just looked great against Grosjean and Ricciardo, who went nowhere but the many replays reassured me that it was excellent.
8th gear - who knew?
Vettel - finally worth watching in races.  Earned you points for fastest lap and most places made up from grid position.
Intra-team racing - as seen at Ferrari and Mercedes.  Without it the procession rolls on.

No

Danny O'Sullivan? - answers on a postcard
Pitlane radio - nowhere near as good as it used to be
Hamilton - what a whingebottom
Massa - put him in a decent car and still he loses places
Baby Pitstop - refusing to show any signs of leaving the garage

Spanish GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 518
2. The Mercs - 399
3. The Hopefuls - 332
4. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 312
5. The Pitstop Princess - 305
6. No Vices Now - 275
7. Hippy F1 - 269
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 260
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 251
10. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 219
11. The Baldy Biker - 193
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 124
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek  - 121
14. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 115

Honourable mention to Magnussen Benz Over Button who scored our first zero of the season!

Monday 21 April 2014

Notice for Spanish GP

As Baby Pitstop is due on the weekend of the Spanish GP, watching the race and posting the FF1 results may be delayed.  Apologies in advance but not sincere ones!

If you find checking the website for results tedious, please remember that I do tweet when the results are announced: @pitstopprincess

China GP - "Absolutely epic"

I think I will disagree with the title for this race.  There wasn't quite enough action to keep me awake for the entire race and it wasn't that early a start.  Talking of starts, I was very impressed with Massa's.  Less impressed with Alonso and Rosberg, who each managed to bash a Williams in the first couple of corners.  I think Rosberg may have learnt a lesson.  Not Alonso though, although he did dedicate his podium to the lovely Stefano Domenicali, who will be much missed.  This Marco chappy seems to be a bit of a Briotore at first glance.

Further on in the race, Massa's poor first pit stop was massively disappointing.  His whole season is turning into "if only...".  Of course, one can always take solace in Vettel being asked for the second race running to move over for his team mate.  My last noteworthy point is that we should all be impressed with the teenage Kvyat, who has scored three points finishes in his first four races.  If that had been Chilton or Kvyat had been British, we'd have been hearing a lot more about him.

China GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 430
2. The Mercs - 351
3. The Hopefuls - 274
4. The Pitstop Princess - 260
5. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 254
6. Hippy F1 - 248
7. No Vices Now - 222
8= League of extraordinary pay drivers - 201
8= The View From the Back of the Grid - 201
9. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 163
11. The Baldy Biker - 153
12. Magnussen Benz Over Button - 124
13. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 93
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 69

Monday 7 April 2014

Bahrain GP - "Nice work there mate....You had us all going for a minute there."

Enjoying

Vettel seems to have learnt Button's post-qually spiel - "the car needs to be quicker...I did what I could...we get to choose our tyre strategy"
The League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers' engine noises
Massa's start
"Daniel is quicker than you"
No team orders at Mercedes - or anywhere else that I could see
Perez back on the podium - 3 previous podium finishes with Sauber and none with McLaren...
Chilton's 13th place finish

Denying

Length of safety car period
Just giving up at the end of the race
Brian Johnson from AC/DC conducting the post-race interview - if he could have settled on one accent it would have been better

Bahrain GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 342
2. The Mercs - 289*
3. The Pitstop Princess - 231
4. Hippy F1 - 205
5. The Hopefuls - 201
6. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 184
7. No Vices Now - 173
8. The View from the Back of the Grid - 148
9. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 146
10= Magnussen Benz Over Button - 118
10= The Baldy Biker - 118
12. Red Bull goes Brazil Nuts!! - 95
13. Hopefully Prancing Horses Not Donkeys - 61
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 53

* Home race

Sunday 30 March 2014

Malaysian GP - "Awesome race...faultless weekend"

I'm not sure how appropriate Hamilton's post-race comment is to the overall spectacle.  One of the more mediocre races I've seen recently.  Although Ricciardo did his best to keep it interesting.

Yes

Rivalry between Massa and Bottas - one team is trying to keep it interesting


No

Rivalry between Massa and Bottas - this will only lose us points
"Stiction" - DC's new word for friction
Avery labels - as used to make the "pray for the lost flight" stickers for drivers' helmets.  Classy.
"The unluckiest man in Formula 1" - I feel the phrase may be making a comeback for Ricciardo
Hoovers - voted the new sound of F1 by you, the readers
Massa - out of the frying pan into the fire - "Bottas is faster than you"
Hamilton's hair - ???
Cumberbatch for interviews - I am a little split on this one as he asked the most insightful questions since Damon Hill but still....
Plugging the sponsor - was there a financial bonus for the number of times Petronas got mentioned by Merc personnel? 

Malaysian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 235*
2. The Pitstop Princess - 151
3. The Hopefuls - 128
4. Hippy F1 - 126
5. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 122
6. No Vices Now - 114
7. Magnussen Benz over Button - 112
8. The Mercs - 109
9. The Baldy Biker - 100
10. The View From the Back of the Grid - 94
11. League of extraordinary pay drivers - 92
12. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 54
13. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 45
14. Beauty and the F1 Geek - 35

Sunday 16 March 2014

Australian GP - "Come on guys, brilliant stuff. What a car you've given me."

Stoked by

Damon Hill - good to see him again and he's clearly done well with the focus groups as we're seeing more of him.
Rookies - Magnussen for his 4th place on the grid, finishing 2nd and overtake around the outside of (an admittedly flailing) Hamilton.  Kvyat for his 7th place on the grid and top 10 finish.
Chilton - for overtaking Vettel
The return of poor reliability - 14 finishers, we're back to the 1990s when you could justifiably will a driver to have an engine failure.
Ricciardo's pit cam
No tyre deg chat
Eloquence - Rosberg (first language: German) was "over the moon", Magnussen (first language: Danish) had a "surreal" race and Ricciardo (first language: English) was "tripping balls".

Gutted by

Drivers choosing their own numbers - I keep thinking Hamilton is running 44th etc.  It will take me a while to adjust.
Cold boiled potatoes - the pre-race snack of winners (Rosberg)
Funny new systems - why was Ricciardo's car shuddering on the grid?
Early penalties - before the season had even started really, Bottas and Grosjean were both penalised.
Kobabashi - nothing exciting about the return of this driver, especially when he took a Williams off with him.
The Hokey Cokey - as performed by Hamilton: in, out, in, out, shake it all about.
The return of poor reliability - when will it strike Williams?

Australian GP Results

Obviously, subject to appeal...

1. The Pitstop Princess - 92
2. Magnussen Benz over Button - 84
3. Hippy F1 - 82
4. The Baldy Biker - 59
5. The Hopefuls - 55
6. No Vices Now - 53
7= Mercrari Hulkenassa - 51
7= Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 51
9. The View from the Back of the Grid - 41
10. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 39
11. The Mercs - 34
12. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 30
13. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 18
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 10 (sorry)

2014 Fantasy F1 Teams

Gareth: League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers:
Raikkonen, Hulkenberg, Mercedes, Ferrari (Marussia), Belgium

Lynn: Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys:
Alonso, Sutil, Ferrari, Ferrari (Sauber), Italy

David: Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!!:
Ricciardo, Maldonado, Red Bull, Ferrari, Brazil

Claire: The Pitstop Princess:
Rosberg, Bottas, Ferrari, Mercedes (Force India), GB

Adam: Magnussen Benz over Button:
Magnussen, Massa, McLaren, Mercedes (McLaren), Canada

Stephen: Mercrari Hulkenassa:
Hulkenberg, Massa, Mercedes, Ferrari, Italy

Sue: The View From the Back of the Grid:
Raikkonen, Kobayashi, Williams, Mercedes, Brazil

Mark: The Mercs:
Hamilton, Perez, Force India, Mercedes (Force India), Bahrain

Laura: Beauty & the F1 Geek:
Vettel, Sutil, Caterham, Renault (Williams), Austria

Joe: Hippy F1:
Rosberg, Massa, McLaren, Mercedes (Force India), GB

Phil: The Hopefuls:
Hamilton, Ricciardo, Sauber, Renault (Caterham), GB

Malcolm: The Baldy Biker:
Raikkonen, Bottas, Ferrari, Mercedes (Williams), Italy

John: No Vices Now:
Magnussen, Massa, Williams, Mercedes, GB

Chris: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!:
Massa, Perez, Mercedes, Mercedes, Malaysia

Sunday 16 February 2014

1. Picking a team

First you must choose a team name.   Anyone who submits a nameless team will not only be allocated a name by me but will score no points for the first race.

You have a whopping and inflated total budget of £50million to choose a team comprising of the following:

2 x Drivers
1 x Constructor/Chassis
1 x Engine

Each driver, constructor and engine is given a value based on previous performances and their potential for success during the 2014 season (i.e. the most expensive drivers, cars and engines will be those predicted to be the most successful).

There are no points for coming in under budget.

Deadline for submitting teams is Thursday 13 March 2014.  Teams can be made up of identical drivers and constructors but must have a different home track (see 2.4).  If you submit a team and home track that has already been chosen you will be invited to pick again (the bonus of entering early is to get the team you wish).

In the event that a constructor withdraws from the 2014 championship, any FF1 team with their chassis or engine will not be reallocated a different constructor and will score no more points for that chassis/engine.  If a constructor is bought out (even after a withdrawal or break from competing) then any FF1 team with that chassis/engine will receive the points scored by the new constructor.  A driver picked by a FF1 team will score points for the team with whichever constructor they drive for or no points if they are not competing, i.e. if they are dropped or their constructor withdraws from the championship.

Only one team may be submitted per human being.

Submission should be by email to the usual address.

1.2 Prizes
To make the league “more interesting” entry is £10, which will be put into a prize money pot.  If fewer than twenty teams are entered, the winner will win 60% of the prize, 2nd place 30% and 3rd place 10%. If twenty or more teams enter then the winner will receive 40%, 2nd place 30%, 3rd place 15%, 4th place 10% and 5th place 5%.

2. How to score points

Scoring starts from the Australian GP onwards. Fantasy points are allocated based on the performance of your drivers, constructor’s cars and engine.

2.1 Drivers
:: The driver who completes the fastest lap in the final qualifying round will receive +15 points.
If a driver receives an engine penalty he will receive points based on his qualifying lap time i.e. we will not penalise FF1 teams for engine changes.

Example, Fernando Alonso sets the fastest time in the 3rd qualifying session but has a ten place grid penalty for changing his engine he will still get +15 points.


:: The driver who completes the fastest lap during the race will receive +15 points.

:: The driver who makes up the most positions from their place on the grid (after penalties) to their finishing place will receive +15 points.

In the event of this being tied the driver finishing in the highest position will receive the points.

:: Drivers that finish the race in the top 10 positions will score points as follows;

1st - 25 points
2nd - 18 points
3rd - 15 points
4th - 12 points
5th - 10 points
6th - 8 points
7th  - 6 points
8th - 4 points

9th – 2 points
10th – 1 point

2.2 Constructors/Chassis
Each Constructor has 2 cars in the race - you will be awarded points based on the performance of both cars, as follows:

1st - 25 points
2nd - 18 points
3rd - 15 points
4th - 12 points
5th - 10 points
6th - 8 points
7th  - 6 points
8th - 4 points

9th – 2 points
10th – 1 point

2.3 Engines
Each Engine supplier has 2 cars in the race - you will be awarded points based on the performance of both cars, as follows:

1st - 25 points
2nd - 18 points
3rd - 15 points
4th - 12 points
5th - 10 points
6th - 8 points
7th  - 6 points
8th - 4 points

9th – 2 points
10th – 1 point

2.4 Final Race

As per the official Formula 1 changes this season, double points will be awarded to drivers, chassis and engines at the final race of the season.

2.5 Home Track
Each team should pick one circuit as their Home Track (see 5. CALENDAR).  The points scored by their team at this race will be doubled.  No team may select the final race of the season for their home track.

3. Communications

A bulletin containing the scores and possibly a little light-hearted banter will be posted on the website as soon as possible after each race.  The blog address is http://thepitstopprincess.blogspot.com

Team listings will be posted on the website.

Notification of results updates by email can be requested.

The website will also contain caption competitions and competitors are invited to post their punditry on the season.

4. Prices

4.1 Drivers

5 Stars – Champions (and sons of)
Vettel - £32m (driving for Red Bull)

Hamilton - £28m (driving for Mercedes)
Alonso - £23m (driving for Ferrari)
Rosberg - £20m (driving for Mercedes)
Raikkonen - £18m (driving for Ferrari)
Button -  £16m (driving for McLaren)

4 Stars - Upper Middle Field or Top Seats, New Drivers
Magnussen - £12m (driving for McLaren)
Ricciardo - £10m (driving for Red Bull)

3 Stars – Mid Field or Still Ploughing Away
Hulkenberg - £8m (driving for Force India)
Grosjean - £7m (driving for Lotus)
Massa - £6m (driving for Williams)

2 Stars – Peddling Hard
Bottas - £5m (driving for Williams)
Perez - £4m (driving for Force India)
Maldonado - £4m (driving for Lotus)
Sutil - £3m (driving for Force India)
Gutierrez - £2m (driving for Sauber)

1 Star – May As Well Be Driving a Ford Fiesta
Vergne - £1m (driving for Toro Rosso)
Kvyat - £1m (driving for Toro Rosso)
Bianchi - £1m (driving for Marussia)
Kobayashi - £1m (driving for Caterham)
Chilton - £1m (driving for Marussia)
Ericsson - £1m (driving for Caterham)

4.2 Chassis

5 Stars - Premium
Mercedes - £20m
Red Bull - £18m
Ferrari - £16m
McLaren - £15m

4 Stars – Close But No Banana
Lotus - £14m

3 Stars - Middle Field
Williams - £11m
Force India - £9m

2 Stars – Trying Very Hard
Sauber - £8m
Toro Rosso - £8m
 
1 Star – Backmarkers
Caterham - £4m
Marussia - £4m
 
4.3 Engines

5 Stars - Premium
Mercedes - £20m
Renault (Red Bull) - £18m
Ferrari - £16m
Mercedes (McLaren) - £15m

4 Stars – Close But No Banana
Renault (Lotus) - £14m

3 Stars - Middle Field
Mercedes (Williams) - £11m

Mercedes (Force India) - £9m

2 Stars – Trying Very Hard
Ferrari (Sauber) - £8m
Renault (Toro Rosso) - £8m

1 Star – Backmarkers
Renault (Caterham) - £4m
Ferrari (Marussia) - £4m

5. Calendar 2014

16th March – Australia
30th March – Malaysia
6th April – Bahrain
20th April – China
11th May – Spain
25th May – Monaco
8th June – Canada
22nd June – Austria
6th July – Great Britain
20th July -- Germany
27th July – Hungary
24th August – Belgium
7th September – Italy
21st September – Singapore
5th October – Japan
12th October – Russia
2nd November - USA
9th November – Brazil
23rd November – Abu Dhabi