Singapore Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Kubica - supplying the most exciting action on track.
2. (new entry) Sparkly helmets - Vettel sported a holographic design to put the floodlighting to best use.
3. (new entry) Comebacks - hello Heidfeld, F1's best lisp.
4. (new entry) Joy - brought on by watching Schumi battle with a Lotus as a backmarker.
5. (new entry) Portable air conditioning - although when would I use it in Scotland?

Chart of Loathing

1. (re-entry) Comebacks - hello Pussycat Doll, you flew 20 hours to surprise Hamilton and brought lots of bad luck with you.
2. (new entry) Brundle - for saying "Obviously Barrichello will be easy meat for Webber".
3. (new entry) BBC's choice of music - top of the pops this week is Thriller.
4. (up 1) Matching shirts- sartorially Jake and DC went for lilac this week.
5. (down 2) Clapping ladies - I am bored of you, be gone, with your red tennis dress and knee high boots.

Singapore Slinging - "We will get them, don't you worry."

For the third time, F1 returned to the most stunning race on the calendar. Sign me up for a space on the skypark next year please. It was a hairy race weekend in parts, Massa and Kovalainen both spending time outside of the car on track when they shouldn't. A frustrating weekend for some, Hamilton getting a second DNF in two races and the Hulk slamming his helmet into a cupboard like a stropping teenager. Others came out smiling knowing their team mate might now have to support them for the rest of the year (Button) or that they recovered a poor qualifying well (Webber). Ferrari topped and tailed the grid and do not seem to care about Massa at all anymore. We haven't had a race with such a high drop-out rate for a while, I felt most sorry for Glock, who is lovely and was doing so so well in his Virgin. Hypocrisy continues to reign in F1 too, team orders cost me a point, with Kubica overtaking his teammate Petrov very easily. I demand an investigation.

ps. anyone concerned (Trimble!) that I have got the scores wrong, should note that Hulkenberg and Sutil were demoted by the stewards after the race for missing the chicane.

Singapore Caption Competition

Please post your caption on Heikki Kovalainen acting as a fire marshall as a comment. Look forward to reading them and thanks to those who submitted something last week.

Singapore Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 808
2. Liuzzi goes bananas - 796
3. Blood on the tracks - 730
4. Gurning Rubber - 722*
5. The Lord of the Wings - 711
6. Chew Chew Joe - 693
7. Hippy F1 - 645
8. Corpus Christi - Trimble - 637*
9. The Young and the Restless - 623
10. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 598*
11. You will never see me in Lederhosen - 590*
12. The Pitstop Princess - 582
13= Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 525
13= Birley Chassis - 525*
15. The Cake King - 513*
16. Wheely wheely fast - 493
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 241

* Result provisional until registration paid.

Italy Caption Competition - because we always like to poke fun at Lewis Hamilton

Italian Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Hulkenberg - just brilliant for Williams, outshone Barrichello all weekend
2. (new entry) Proper podium champagne battle - the first for a long time
3. (re-entry) Italian sunshine - send some our way please
4. (re-entry) Ray Bans - sported by one and all
5. (re-entry) Papa Button's lucky pink shirt - works it's magic once again

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Bad conspiracy theories - mostly from Eddie: Schumi's going to retire, Vettel's engine is remotely switched off
2. (re-entry) Santander trophies - no more, too corporate and too soulless
3. (new entry) Clapping ladies - badly dressed and getting boring
4. (re-entry) Reluctant hugs - Massa and Alonso once again
5. (re-entry) Matching shirts - DC and Jake offend again

Italian Analysis - "Fantastica. Pit Stop Stupende."

The Italian grand prix didn't provide the most exciting weekend of the season. Lots of disappointed drivers but a couple of favourites doing well and putting a smile on peoples faces. Hamilton learnt that you gain no points by having the fastest car on the grid if you crash it into another vehicle on the first lap. We also heard Vettel crying into his radio when his engine had a moment. Spare a pitiful thought too for Trulli, whose car blew up at his home race. At his last home race? Massa looked gutted on the podium that he had not delivered a Ferrari win at Monza. To finish, Alonso took at bow, very fitting.

ps. a word of advice for Stefano Domenicali from Mr PP: trim Alonso's eyebrows and you'll have some more weight to play with in the car.

Italy Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 744
2. Liuzzi goes bananas - 729
3. Blood on the tracks - 700
4. The Lord of the Wings - 655
5. Hippy F1 - 610
6. The Young and the Restless - 601
7. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 568
8. The Pitstop Princess - 541
9. Wheely wheely fast - 463
10. Ferrari Fanatic - 222

Italy saw the highest points haul of the season with Liuzzi really delivering for Liuzzi goes bananas.

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