Sunday, 28 July 2013

Hungary Extra

Our guest blogger would like to draw your attention to this cringeworthy offering from Hamilton:

Surely there must be other people/institutions that he could dedicate his race win to?  Post your ideas as a comment below and we'll see if we can provide him with some inspiration.

Hungarian GP - Banter By Invite

With the Pitstop Princess taking her summer holidays a week before the rest of the paddock, the FF1 championship leader has stepped in to provide your blogging for this event……..
On the face of it, events at the 2013 Hungarian Grand Prix panned out to a very familiar script:
Qually ends as ever with a Mercedes taking pole and Webber and Di Resta whinging about the car their teams have given them; tyre strategy dominates the majority of the pre-race chat; Vettel ignores team instructions to back off and nearly costs himself points (in this case, tailgating Button); Grosjean looks phenomenal and a potential challenger to the big boys, only to smack into someone (Button) and ruin his podium chances; Alonso is anonymous in the midfield in a below-par, 2011-style Ferrari; one of the Mercedes has a meltdown; and Raikkonen is Mr Consistent, but spends the last laps in a dog fight…..
However, this well-worn script is a gripping one (qually aside) and the wheel-to-wheel racing on display by messrs Vettel, Grosjean, Raikkonen, Webber and the ubiquitous Button provided a great spectacle. Sure, Hamilton was never really in any danger of losing the lead short of technical issues, but the top ten order was a dynamic affair. An eventful first lap and ad-hoc tyre strategies meant positions changed hands a fair bit, though with short enough gaps to allow for a contest. There were few lulls and plenty of battles.
So, in spite of pole = win and the aforementioned usual patten of event, the last race before summer shutdown served to whet the appetite for the remaining nine rounds. Whilst the finishing order did little to change the championship table, you have to hope that some use this race as a point to reignite their championship hopes (Hamilton and Raikkonen) and other see it as signal for the need to improve when they return at Spa (Alonso/Ferrari).

"Hey man, I'm trying to focus" - Lewis Hamilton fights back against information overload;
"Kimi, it's Dave" - Lotus appear to now be sending formation lap messages from a Midlands garage;
The magnificent Magyars really know how to reward a winner, presenting hand-me-down china being to the victors…… This year's 'trophy' will be in a charity shop near you soon!
BOX, BOX, BOX (and don't let back out the garage):
Sky's David 'Crofty' Croft's woeful commentary ("Don't reach for the ice creams yet, there's still a race on");
Paul Di Resta blaming everyone but himself ("Where did that go?!?");
The return of McLaren's 'Tooned' animations, with their borderline racist caricatures….. Maybe the team wouldn't be under performing if they didn't have Whitmarsh, Perez and Co. wasting their time drawing.
Note from editor - I'm afraid that despite some excellent writing, our guest blogger has fundamentally failed to provide a true picture of the excitement and overwhelming sense of glorious triumph and revival experienced during the race.  I am, of course, referring to Williams scoring their first point of the season.

Hungarian GP Results

1. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 740
2. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 698
3. What Up Bianchi? - 691
4. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 623
5. Rowntree's Randoms - 616
6. The Winner Takes Vet Tel - 613
7. Still Chewing - 609
8. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 507
9= The Sutil Knife - 497
9= Hippy F1 - 497
11. The Pitstop Princess - 489
12. Schumacher's Ghost - 477
13. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 421
14. Superstars - 411
15. The Baldy Biker - 338
16. 100% British Beef Horsepower - 323
17. The Dark Button - 307
18. Year of the Tifosi - 293

Monday, 8 July 2013

Suggestions for making Formula 1 more fun

Please submit your ideas by comment, so far...
  • Bring back refuelling
  • Change the tyres again
  • 1 in every 200 tyres is pre-punctured
  • Release an actual red bull on to the track
  • The Safety Car Randomiser - a computer-generated lottery triggers a safety car situation

German GP - "That was a tough one. They gave me a run for the money"


Starting grid photos - it's nice to reflect on those start-of-the-school-year haircuts
Split strategies
Webber's wingcam, mounted sideways - more of it please and more Bottas helmet cam too
Rollercoaster between grandstands
Old School action - an engine blow-out, Alonso hitching a lift back on a scooter
Diplomacy - "A good result for the team" - Grosjean


Double piano national anthem - full of gravitas
Hamilton's start
Massa - when did he last finish race?  Why did he spin off?  Wasn't Smedley furious?
Pit lane disasters
Team orders - "Kimi is stronger than you.   Kimi is stronger than you"
The drawing of a watch on Hamilton's gloves
Bianchi forgetting to put the handbreak on
Vettel's never won in July before - we are scraping the barrell for stats now
Williams wheelgun/nut problems

German GP Results

1. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 670
2. What Up Bianchi? - 649
3. I have Vettel but I want his points - 632
4= The Winner Takes Vet Tel - 571
4= Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 571
6. Rowntree's Randoms - 534
7. Still Chewing - 530
8. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 465
9. The Sutil Knife - 460
10. Hippy F1 - 459
11. The Pitstop Princess - 451
12. Schumacher's Ghost - 420
13. Superstars - 390
14. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 375
15. The Baldy Biker - 289
16. Year of the Tifosi - 279
17. 100% British Beef Horsepower - 274
18. The Dark Button - 259