Azerbaijan GP - Lewis wins despite horrendous haircut

Editor - Thanks to twctfwcautog for this - although with baby Pitstop waking up a I cut and pasted, I have yet to read!

Not that everyone kept going on about it, but apparently it was quite windy in Baku.  Does that explain why we had so many crashes and incidents this year (as in previous years)?  Baku's nickname anybody?  "City of winds".

The chaos was mostly at the start and the end of the race with some also in the middle.  The only predictable moment of the weekend - Vettel's third pole position in a row.

There was first lap chaos - Sirotkin punted Perez into Ocon (just in case those two weren't going to tango again under their own steam), then got caught in a Renault/MacLaren sandwich.  The MacLaren piece of bread (Alonso) managed to limp his two-wheeled wagon back to the pits.  Raikkonen then punted Ocon into the wall to make sure the two Force Indias definitely couldn't tango again (at least in this race).  Cue the much-predicted safety car.

Verstappen re-defined "letting another car past" after cutting the inside of the corner and gaining an advantage, by immediately re-passing Hulkenberg to re-take that briefly negated advantage.  Hulkenberg later put himself into the wall in protest (maybe).  Verstappen moved Ricciardo aggressively aside and caused him to lose a place to Hulkenberg.  Hulkenberg later put himself into the wall in celebration (maybe).  

The main scrap was the continuing fight between the two Red Bull boys.  Ricciardo eventually passed Verstappen after multiple attempts and even contact at turn one only to immediately lose the place in pitstops as the overcut(?) worked for Verstappen.  Ricciardo was told "go on, do him again" and duly did, smashing into him in the turn one breaking zone.  My first reaction was that Verstappen had moved twice but maybe Helmut Marko was right and it was 50/50.  Anyone?  Either way, no points for Red Bull.  After the race, they both gave interviews that tried to appear contrite, not assigning blame and apologising to the team.  Both clearly better drivers than liars.  Let's hope they do better at the factory in front of everyone.  Christian Horner was both angry *and* disappointed.  DC was pleased he wouldn't be sharing a plane home with both of them in the end.

The safety car was deployed for the Red Bull clean-up, meaning pitstops for the leaders, and favouring Bottas who had not yet pitted.  Allowing lapped cars to pass was taking too long for Alonso who clearly relished the idea of a ten lap run to the flag.  As did we all.  Then Grosjean inexplicably binned his Haas under the safety car.  He said that he hit a switch on his steering wheel while warming the tyres which changed the braking, then a massive gust of wind caught him out.  Try "my dog ate my homework" next time, Romain.

Eventually the safety car was withdrawn and we had a quick blast to the flag.  Vettel went for glory from second and lost out a bit.  Bottas was unlucky to hit debris and lose out a lot.  At least it gave us three different cars on the podium for the second race in a row.

Some great drives and great results:

Sergio Perez in third - now the most successful Mexican driver ever.

Carlos Sainz in fifth - his best result since joining Renault.

Charles LeClerc in sixth - in a Sauber!  Eh?

Lance Stroll in eighth - first points of the season for Williams.

Brendon Hartley in tenth - his first points for Toro Rosso.

twctfwcautog

Azerbaijan GP - Results

1. Halo, baby! - 225*
2. Give it some Gasly! - 197
3. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 185
4. The Pitstop  Princess - 178
5. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 170
6. Spa Day with a Shooey - 155
7. No Vices Now - 147
8= Evel Marque - 146
8= Maximum Attack! - 146
10. Hasstag #FaceBull - 137
11. The Hopefulls - 132
12. Jack Johnson - 116
13. Hippy F1 - 113
14. Wheels on Fire - 58

* Home track played

China GP - "Clinical moves, cut throat, scary"

The two Rs have looked promising for a while.  Raikkonen keeps showing his teeth and then lowering his tail when it comes to actually racing.  It looks like he's pedaling for the money.  Red Bull even told Verstappen to do the opposite of whatever he does (turns out that is crashing into cars rather than letting them overtake you).  Ricciardo however, brought everything to this race.  He gains 15 points for fastest lap and 15 points for making up the most places.

For a long time, I thought I would have nothing to write about this race other than I'm not sure whether pit stops should be called stops any more as they barely seem to brake.  The mind boggles.

Then, half way through, the Toro Rossos collided, sending Gasly from hero to zero as he crashed into his team mate, drove through his own litter, brought out the safety car, had a massive stop and then a 10 second penalty.  The race was wide open. With ten laps to go, Verstappen damaged Vettel and my points haul disappeared altogether and brought out the now traditional world champion whinging.

I think three races in, we can safely say that Mercedes aren't dominant this year...and neither are Ferrari...

Any volunteers for a guest blog for Azerbaijan?  Email me please.

China GP - Results

1. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 177
2. Halo, baby! - 173*
3= Give it some Gasly! - 151
3= Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 151
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 148
6. Spa Day with a Shooey - 140
7. The Pitstop Princess - 129
8. No Vices Now - 114
9= Evel Marque - 105
9= Maximum Attack! - 105
11. The Hopefulls - 91
12. Jack Johnson - 88
13. Hippy F1 - 69
14. Wheels on Fire - 33

*Home track played

Bahrain GP - guest blog!

Editor: please welcome Wheels on Fire for this race's commentary.  I'm assuming that it is for Bahrain and not very very late.

It was at Abu Dhabi: Oh, yes, it was!


Once again the circus rolled into town with its baggage train, its barkers and grinders proffering for our entertainment a spectacle which not even No Vices Now­* could sleep through. The first Act consisted of Verstappen (stupid boy!) giving us his polished performance of trying to bully the other contestants into giving way to him, with the usual consequences of damaging his car and whingeing about it afterwards to anyone who would listen. Shame Hamilton has learned how to parry his thrusts.

Several novelty acts entertained us as the show rolled along, but surely the most thrilling was the high wire act starring Pierre Gasley who not only started from a good grid position but managed to hang on as others tried to put him off and finished his turn with a startling 4th place. We would in future prefer not to see any more mechanics damaged in the course of their duties and we hope that Ferrari give their employees private healthcare to make being off sick bearable.

The tightrope walk at the end of the performance kept us all awake to the end, the Ringmaster shouting to Vettel: he’s behind you! (Oh no, wrong type of show, sorry.) But he was and lucky, lucky Vettel managed to bluff his way through to the end and hang on to his prime billing, the highest step on the podium and a nice big trophy to show for his trouble.

*A new comparison has been born to add to the area of Wales, the length of London buses and size of the blue whale: how long it takes No Vices Now to drop off to sleep during a Grand Prix.

Bahrain GP - Results

1. Halo, baby! - 147*
2. The Pitstop Princess - 103
3= Give it some Gasly - 97
3= Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 97
5. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 81
6. No Vices Now - 78
7. The Hopefulls - 73
8= Evel Marque - 65
8= Maximum Attack! - 65
10. Spa Day with a Shooey - 64
11. HassTag#FaceBull - 57
12. Jack Johnson - 54
13. Hippy F1 - 47
14. Wheels on Fire - 20

* Home track played