Malaysian GP - "Awesome race...faultless weekend"

I'm not sure how appropriate Hamilton's post-race comment is to the overall spectacle.  One of the more mediocre races I've seen recently.  Although Ricciardo did his best to keep it interesting.

Yes

Rivalry between Massa and Bottas - one team is trying to keep it interesting


No

Rivalry between Massa and Bottas - this will only lose us points
"Stiction" - DC's new word for friction
Avery labels - as used to make the "pray for the lost flight" stickers for drivers' helmets.  Classy.
"The unluckiest man in Formula 1" - I feel the phrase may be making a comeback for Ricciardo
Hoovers - voted the new sound of F1 by you, the readers
Massa - out of the frying pan into the fire - "Bottas is faster than you"
Hamilton's hair - ???
Cumberbatch for interviews - I am a little split on this one as he asked the most insightful questions since Damon Hill but still....
Plugging the sponsor - was there a financial bonus for the number of times Petronas got mentioned by Merc personnel? 

Malaysian GP Results

1. Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes - 235*
2. The Pitstop Princess - 151
3. The Hopefuls - 128
4. Hippy F1 - 126
5. Mercrari Hulkenassa - 122
6. No Vices Now - 114
7. Magnussen Benz over Button - 112
8. The Mercs - 109
9. The Baldy Biker - 100
10. The View From the Back of the Grid - 94
11. League of extraordinary pay drivers - 92
12. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 54
13. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 45
14. Beauty and the F1 Geek - 35

Australian GP - "Come on guys, brilliant stuff. What a car you've given me."

Stoked by

Damon Hill - good to see him again and he's clearly done well with the focus groups as we're seeing more of him.
Rookies - Magnussen for his 4th place on the grid, finishing 2nd and overtake around the outside of (an admittedly flailing) Hamilton.  Kvyat for his 7th place on the grid and top 10 finish.
Chilton - for overtaking Vettel
The return of poor reliability - 14 finishers, we're back to the 1990s when you could justifiably will a driver to have an engine failure.
Ricciardo's pit cam
No tyre deg chat
Eloquence - Rosberg (first language: German) was "over the moon", Magnussen (first language: Danish) had a "surreal" race and Ricciardo (first language: English) was "tripping balls".

Gutted by

Drivers choosing their own numbers - I keep thinking Hamilton is running 44th etc.  It will take me a while to adjust.
Cold boiled potatoes - the pre-race snack of winners (Rosberg)
Funny new systems - why was Ricciardo's car shuddering on the grid?
Early penalties - before the season had even started really, Bottas and Grosjean were both penalised.
Kobabashi - nothing exciting about the return of this driver, especially when he took a Williams off with him.
The Hokey Cokey - as performed by Hamilton: in, out, in, out, shake it all about.
The return of poor reliability - when will it strike Williams?

Australian GP Results

Obviously, subject to appeal...

1. The Pitstop Princess - 92
2. Magnussen Benz over Button - 84
3. Hippy F1 - 82
4. The Baldy Biker - 59
5. The Hopefuls - 55
6. No Vices Now - 53
7= Mercrari Hulkenassa - 51
7= Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes! - 51
9. The View from the Back of the Grid - 41
10. League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers - 39
11. The Mercs - 34
12. Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys - 30
13. Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!! - 18
14. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 10 (sorry)

2014 Fantasy F1 Teams

Gareth: League of Extraordinary Pay Drivers:
Raikkonen, Hulkenberg, Mercedes, Ferrari (Marussia), Belgium

Lynn: Hopefully Prancing Horses not Donkeys:
Alonso, Sutil, Ferrari, Ferrari (Sauber), Italy

David: Red Bull goes Brazil nuts!!:
Ricciardo, Maldonado, Red Bull, Ferrari, Brazil

Claire: The Pitstop Princess:
Rosberg, Bottas, Ferrari, Mercedes (Force India), GB

Adam: Magnussen Benz over Button:
Magnussen, Massa, McLaren, Mercedes (McLaren), Canada

Stephen: Mercrari Hulkenassa:
Hulkenberg, Massa, Mercedes, Ferrari, Italy

Sue: The View From the Back of the Grid:
Raikkonen, Kobayashi, Williams, Mercedes, Brazil

Mark: The Mercs:
Hamilton, Perez, Force India, Mercedes (Force India), Bahrain

Laura: Beauty & the F1 Geek:
Vettel, Sutil, Caterham, Renault (Williams), Austria

Joe: Hippy F1:
Rosberg, Massa, McLaren, Mercedes (Force India), GB

Phil: The Hopefuls:
Hamilton, Ricciardo, Sauber, Renault (Caterham), GB

Malcolm: The Baldy Biker:
Raikkonen, Bottas, Ferrari, Mercedes (Williams), Italy

John: No Vices Now:
Magnussen, Massa, Williams, Mercedes, GB

Chris: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!:
Massa, Perez, Mercedes, Mercedes, Malaysia