Sunday, 25 November 2012

Brazilian GP - "Oh my God guys"

The season finishes with a lot of uncertainty, many drivers and unsigned and seats are empty.  Schumi drove his last race in F1 (fingers crossed) having celebrated by driving round his outlap with a chequered flag and delivering a radio message to his supporters: "get ready to rumble".

Before Hamilton fills his seat at Mercedes, he told DC that McLaren is the best team.  Onwards and upwards, eh? 

Then the lights went out.  Vettel's poor start meant he was in the pack and ripe for a collision.  Whilst Massa and Alonso went out front, both Williams went out in lap one.  There was lots teammate-on-teammate action during the race, McLarens, Red Bulls and Ferraris running close together and the Torro Rossos running in to each other.

The rain and poor pitstops through added spice into the mix.  No two forecasts were the same or even informing of the same amount of rain currently falling.  The thrills and spills kept coming so we were never sure who would win the drivers championship: Hulkenberg taking out Hamilton, Hulkenberg getting a drive-through penalty, drivers moving over.  Ultimately Alonso couldn't have done more and why was Massa so upset on the podium?

It was a great race, a classic, ending the most competitive and tense seasons for a long, long while.  Expectations are high for next year.

Brazilian GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Rain - not enough to have us watch a stopped race but enough to make it very exciting
2. (new entry) Massa - absolutely stunning driving on 1st and 2nd lap, which continued throughout the race as he demonstrated why he is the best teammate  in F1
3. (new entry) Hamilton's helmet - another beauty
4. (new entry) Rallying - Raikkonen's excursion (and subsequent points finish) played a part in this unique race
5. (new entry) Hulkenberg - spiced up the championship race by taking Hamilton out

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Exciting races - I didn't get any knitting done
2. (new entry) Hulkenberg - hero to zero and a real shame that he took out Hamilton
3. (re-entry) Schumacher - giving his place to Vettel.  Seb - it's only unfair if you have more than one driver who will make way for you (no mentioning of the Torro Rossos too)
4. (new entry) Piquet - more vetting is needed for the on-podium interviewer.  To Alonso: "I'm sorry about you."  To Massa: "You start the year not very good."
5. (re-entry) Schumacher - milling about at the end and claiming all the glory, well, I suppose if he hadn't inspired Vettel to drive...

Brazilian GP & Championship Results

1. Better the Vettel you know - 1,132
2. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 1,061
4. Still Chewing - 1,042
5. White Jeans - 1,038
6. Wyld Stallyns - 1,002
7. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 990
8. The Pitstop Princess - 959
9. La Pic di Resta - 951
10. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 875
11. Crash of the Titans - 852
12. Parkes Winners - 822
13. The Lord of the Wings - 814
14. Hippy F1 - 806
15. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 745
16. Push Pete's Button - 699
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 681

Poll results

60% of you thought Horner was 49 last week.  Well, the shocking truth is he was 39.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

US GP - "We definitely deserved that one"

Race morning did not hold a promising outlook.  Button had said that overtaking was unlikely and Alonso was far down the grid on the dirty side.  Then Ferrari gave pundits an early Christmas present by deliberately breaking the seal on Massa's gear box to move him five places down the grid.  Ferrari's spokesman said that: "Felipe is a strong part of the team.  His decision reflects the spirit of the team."  Yes, he's very much part of the team and not the teamleader.  Felipe said they had made the decision in order to have both cars on the clean side of the grid.  He is very gullible.  He was asked if Alonso had spoken with him: "Yes".

On to the race.  As Mr Pitstop Princess commented: "It's so easy to pass Schumacher these days".  Indeed, he finished 16th, having started 5th.  Ferrari possibly lost the drivers championship with a poor pitstop, especially when you compare it to the amazing stops of Vettel and Raikkonen.

As much as it pains me to say it, I'm glad Hamilton won as it keeps the championship alive.  Roll on Sunday.

ps. apologies for the delay in posting the results but our internet connection has been Grosjean (great occasionally but usually crashes).

US GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) The Circuit of the Americas - delivered a great race
2. (new entry) Winnebago's - to watch the race from the top of, what a wonderful idea
3. (new entry) Texan head wear - Vettel's helmet design and the winner's stetsons
4. (new entry) Sky's coverage - notably the shot of two Americans missing a high 5
5. (new entry) Showers forecast - for Interlagos, promises to be one of those great showdowns

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Texan head wear - again - lampshades in China and cork hats in Australia to follow
2. (new entry) Panoramic shots of the car parking facilities - indicative of the lack of inspiration by the television directors for this race
3. (new entry) Pitstop replays - see above
4. (new entry) Andretti - all statement and no questions
5. (new entry) Not knowing - would Massa have won if he hadn't taken the penalty?

US GP Results

1. Better the Vettel you know - 1,100
2. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 1,050
3. Still Chewing - 1,009
4. White Jeans - 999
6. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 962
7. Wyld Stallyns - 957
8. The Pitstop Princess - 938
9. La Pic di Resta - 891
10. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 832
11. Crash of the Titans - 776
12. Hippy F1 - 757
13. Parkes Winners - 754
14. The Lord of the Wings - 716
15. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 685
16. Push Pete's Button - 668
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 666

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Abu Dhabi GP - "Yeehah, woohoo" "Thanks guys. Great job."

The BBC F1 trio were sent out the desert for this race's build-up.  Instead of being covered in jam and buried in the sand, as hoped, they sat on a tree trunk wearing keffiyehs.  I expect we will see Stetsons in Texas, bowl of fruit hats for Brazil and lampshades in China.

Despite this there was a lot to look forward to in the race with seven different teams in the top 8 grid positions and Vettel being sent to start from the pit lane.  It didn't disappoint, although there must have been a lot of disappointment in the paddock post-race.  With Vettel's astonishing finish, Alonso has no luck (but still not taking the position of unluckiest driver which sits with Webber).  The shunt of the season was delivered by Rosberg and Karthikeyan.  It was joyous to hear the Finnish national anthem again and Schumacher is now the only world champion currently racing not to have won a race this year.  Why was there so many mistakes for what should have been a processional race?

Finally, does the pit exit remind anyone else of the Funhouse circuit?

Abu Dhabi GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Vettel - even though we wish he hadn't even scored points, he drove an outstanding race
2. (new entry) Strops - normally featuring in the Chart of Loathing demonstrated by Hamilton but Raikkonen delivered some outstanding ones over the radio today
3. (new entry) Anything you can do, I can do better - swearing on the podium
4. (static) Glittery helmets
5. (re-entry) Bacon rolls - thank you Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) DC's interview technique - "Statement.  Statement.  Statement.  Tell me about it."
2. (new entry) Eddie Jordan's shirts
3. (new entry) DC's cringy Texan accent (take note Beeb, he struggles with Scottish)
4. (new entry) Lotus crotch-arrow overalls

Abu Dhabi GP Results

1. Better the Vettel you know - 1,032
2. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 982
4. Still Chewing - 921
5. White Jeans - 916
6. The Pitstop Princess - 906
7. Wyld Stallyns - 898
8. Sebastian Vettel's High-Flying Turds - 873
9. La Pic di Resta - 838
10. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 770
11= Crash of the Titans - 729
11= Hippy F1 - 729
13. Parkes Winners - 712
14. The Lord of the Wings - 688
15. Ferrari Fanatic - 658
16. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 636
17. Push Pete's Button - 633