Monday 30 July 2012

Hungarian GP - "Let's try and keep this up, right"

I started off feeling very positive about this race weekend.  I hadn't realised that Senna had not made Q3 yet.  I finished feeling that this was the worst race yet this season (saying much in a season where Valencia has already occured).  All the tyre and pit stop chat contributed nothing.  McLaren's Plan A/Plan B seemed to spice things up a little.  McLaren would do well reading Aesop's Fables.  Slow and steady wins the race, these super-speedy pit stops only help win a race when all 4 tyres go on to the car.

Maldonado received his 6th penalty of the year.  What can Williams do when he pays so much to balls up?  And why is Sam Michael shown on TV more now he is in a lesser role at McLaren than in his leading role at Williams?

What are you most looking forward to when the season starts back up?  Post your answer in a comment.  For me, Raikkonen and Goujon seem desperate to win and I'm highly anticipating watching them taking the fight to Alonso, McLaren and Red Bull in September.  I'm also planning to reclaiming the top spot in the Fantasy league.

Be warned though, I'm taking advantage of the break to claim all the unpaid subs.

Hungarian GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Lotus - definitely no team orders
2. (re-entry) Senna - able to rise to the occasion unlike a certain (ex?) Ferrari driver
3. (new entry) Hamilton admits to a season of poor starts - jaw to floor
4. (new entry) Hamilton compliments to the Renault - more positive about the team than either driver
5. (new entry) Summer breaks - definitely enjoyed mine

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Tension - admittedly the best small talk available to view on television
2. (new entry) Placido Domingo - huh?
3. (new entry) In-car strops - Vettel in a case of the terrible twos (championships)
4. (new entry) Not reading the rules - even seven-times champions should do make the time
5. (re-entry) Clapping ladies - please no more

Jury's Out

Olympics - "Charles OlymPIC", special helmets....
McLaren animation

Hungarian GP - Results

1. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 590
2. The Pitstop Princess - 588
3. Wyld Stallyns - 583
4. White Jeans - 542
5. Still Chewing - 539
6. Better the Vettel you know - 523
7. KAMIKAZE KOBAYASHI! - 521
8. La Pic di Resta - 515
9. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 483
10. Crash of the Titans - 448
11. Push Pete's Button - 432
12. Ferrari Fanatic - 421
13. Hippy F1 - 411
14. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 406
15. Parkes Winners - 384
16. The Lord of the Wings - 370
17. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 355
18. AbeFromanRacing - 280

Sunday 22 July 2012

German GP - "Tonight we will party"

It seems where one driver triumphed this race, his team mate disappointed.  Massa continues his concerted efforts to lose his seat at Ferrari, holding up Alonso during qualifying and finishing 12th.  Grosjean felt that the rain came quicker on his car than any other, Raikkonen beginning to show little glimpses of his former self.  Hamilton drove his 100th grand prix and celebrated in his traditional manner of throwing his toys out of the pram, whinging and then finally remembering his PR training for when his helmet comes off.

There was a five second spread over the top ten on the grid, which seems so unusual now.  It didn't seem to make for a topsy turvy race though.  It finished with some on-podium tension between Vettel and Button badly masked through champagne japes and glitter.

German GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Head to head pitstops - some more old-fashioned F1 excitement
2. (new entry) Platitudes - enjoying "coulda, woulda, shoulda doesn't count" from Webber
3. (new entry) Jubilee chic - a Union Jack tacked on to Webber's helmet design and a half Vodaphone, half flag offering on Jenson's cap
4. (new entry) HRT cream and gold overalls - 70s classic styling for the boys at the back
5. (new entry) Rosberg - for his "go faster tablets" quip during Brundle's track guide.  Try that at the Olympics and they'll have you urinating in a cup faster than McLaren can change a set of tyres.

Chart of Loathing

1. (re-entry) Whinging - displayed firstly by Schumi about the rain (!) then the usual "tyres not working" from Button then Hamilton in-car about his puncture
2. (new entry) Sky race guide with the McLaren drivers - like the Virgin media ads for those that haven't seen it, lots of pointing and swiping at nothing.  Pretty much like their driving.
3. (new entry) Fan blowers - cooling the drivers.  I think they should return to using large palm leaves.
4. (new entry) Jubilee chic - ubiquitous, enough already
5. (new entry) Not-quite-pink-enough - a la Papa Button's shirt.  Not quite lucky enough for a win.

German GP Results

1. The Pitstop Princess - 538
2. Wyld Stallyns - 519
3. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 515
4. White Jeans - 482
5. Better the Vettel you know - 480
6. KAMIKAZE KOBAYASHI! - 478
7. Still Chewing - 473
8. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 421
9. La Pic di Resta - 417
10. Push Pete's Button - 397
11= Hippy F1 - 387
11= Ferrari Fanatic - 387
13. Crash of the Titans - 382
14. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 371
15. Parkes Winners - 358
16. The Lord of the Wings - 346
17. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 314
18. AbeFromanRacing - 260

Nb. These results are now altered following Vettel's penalty.

Monday 9 July 2012

GB GP - "Great stuff. Another great day for us"

On the Saturday it looked like the race was going to be an cracker: wet weather forecast and Button qualified 18th, going out in Q1, so will be overtaking through the pack.  And didn't we go on and on about the weather.  I would like to point out that Wyld Stallyns and myself sat through a whole race of that weather!  Did anyone give us a medal?

It turned out to be my most disappointing race of the season, which is fairly damning criticism when you consider we have had Valencia.  All you folk who thought Petrov was a bargain, if it looks to good to be true and it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Maldonado is turning into the bullied child of this year's class.  I was going to say that he is the new Kobabashi...And Lee MacKenzie, what a stirrer! 

Ultimately McLaren were nowhere and I'm not fully sold that Red Bull deserved that victory.  Webber is definitely being ditched by Red Bull though.  If Ferrari had a better second driver, where would they be right now?

The only person who truly triumphed out of the race is The Pitstop Princess!  I've never led the FF1 league before, although I feel like Alonso, out front right now but for how long can I hold the pack off?

British GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Wet qualifying - God's sprinkler system works again
2. (new entry) Ferrari's revival - all looking good at long last for Fernando
3. (new entry) Fall of the Regenmeister - the old has-been proves he is just that in qualifying
4. (new entry) New podium format - I think I liked it - what do you think?
5. (new entry) Senna - putting in some overtaking moves at last

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Austrian national anthem - for the team based down the road in Milton Keynes
2. (new entry) DRS - the biggest player in this race
3. (new entry) The new Muddly Talkers - Eddie Jordan: "He is absolutely up there on his ability".  Alonso: "professionality".  Alonso gets lets off as he is making up words in a different language, Eddie's Colmanballs have no excuse.
4. (new entry) Wet qualifying - let them race
5. (new entry) Clapping ladies - freshley recruited from your nearest Santander branch

British GP Results

1. The Pitstop Princess - 508
2. Wyld Stallyns - 487
3. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 470
4. Better the Vettel you know - 456
5. Still Chewing - 445
6= White Jeans - 442
6= KAMIKAZE KOBAYASHI! - 442
8. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 396
9. La Pic di Resta - 385
10. Push Pete's Button - 371
11. Hippy F1 - 355
12. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 341
13. Crash of the Titans - 335
14. Ferrari Fanatic - 324
15. The Lord of the Wings - 314
16. Parkes Winners - 313
17. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 276
18. AbeFromanRacing - 217