Monday, 23 April 2012

Bahrain Banter - "......................"

Qualifying brought good and bad news for the race. It looked as though Vettel was back in the lead however Schumi fell out in Q1 and there were some good teammate battles in the offing with huge gaps on the grid at some teams (Toro Rosso, Mercedes, Lotus).
Massa finally pulled something out of the bag for this race, he must have been threatened with something. My man of the day though was Raikkonen, looking very unfit and sullenly glancing at the bright side of life. All round it seemed to be an unhappy race for most (leaving aside those allegedly being beaten just outside the track), McLaren taking the biggest beating from it's drivers at the press conference.
Still there's lots of time to practice pitstops, memorize codewords for team radio and recreate Mercedes aerodynamics before the next race.

Bahrain GP Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) No team orders - Raikkonen made it very clear in the post-race press conference that there will be no team orders and that this was going to lead to some great racing this season
2. (new entry) 4 races, 4 different winners - this is what F1 has been missing
3. (new entry) New phrases - my current favourite is "Raikkonen heading for the fridge" meaning, he's out of qualifying/the race
4. (re-entry) Damon Hill - he's so polite, e.g. "minnow teams" not backmarkers
5. (new entry) Ricciardo's braces - ahhhhh

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Jargon and codewords on the team radio - what is "double KERS" or "double yellow D on the straight"?
2. (new entry) Unluckiest man in F1 - why does there always have to be one? This year it seems to be Maldonado.
3. (new entry) Death - no, I'm not getting political (at least on here) but honouring the memory of the bird that flew into Rosberg's helmet during Friday's practice. Apparently he returned to the pits covered in bloody feathers. Not even the fauna is on Schumi's side.
4. (new entry) Jackie Stewart - how fickle, staunch supporter of Williams (and RBS) last year, claiming all the credit for Lotus's success this year
5. (new entry) Ricciardo's braces - soon there'll be drivers still undergoing toilet-training

Bahrain GP Results

1. White Jeans - 288
3= Wyld Stallyns - 216
3= Still Chewing - 212
5= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 209
5= Better the Vettel you know - 209
7. La Pic di Resta - 208
8. Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 196
9. The Pitstop Princess - 193
10. Crash of the Titans - 182
11= Hippy F1 - 180
11= Lord of the Wings - 180
13. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 173
14. Asda Equivalent Energy Drink Racing - 167
15. Push Pete's Button - 164
16. Parke's Winners - 134
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 134
18. AbeFromanRacing - 103

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

China GP - "Great effort"

I'll start with some brief chartage:

Liking: the season's most elegantly-dressed clapping ladies and Webber's trademark Stan Laurel headscratch.
Loathing: BBC's Sex and the City spoof, we were over 4 minutes into their coverage before F1 was mentioned. Also the return of EJ and DC bickering.

Qualifying really shook things up and promised a great race. Firstly, there was the shock of Vettel exiting in Q2. This was followed by the comforting noises of lovely chap Heikki Kovalainen, who was too nice to say that Maldonado was the baddie in their coming together. Whitmarsh looked like he was going to cry when it was all over.

Pre-race the BBC treated us to a special obituary for Sir Frank Williams, to celebrate his 70th birthday. I should clarify that Sir Frank is still alive.

After that, nothing much happened for many many laps. This was made worse by the lack of coverage of the mid-field battles or pit stops and Bedward being incapable of distinguishing between teammates. Once the tedious laps were out of the way, the race was thrilling. Schumi managed magnanimous, which he can definitely add to his emotional wardrobe. I haven't seen the post-race interview with Raikkonen but I am assuming he was not so cheery. There are a couple of interesting FF1 points: Vettel gets the points for most grid places made up and Kobayashi did the fastest race lap. It was a triumph for the underdogs though. Everyone was pleased that Rosberg broke his duck (Hamilton in post-race smile shock) and Webber finally did what was needed and came in ahead of his teammate.

China GP Results

1. White Jeans - 229
2. Wyld Stallyns - 160
3. La Pic Di Resta - 159
4. Asda Equivalent Energy Racing Drink Racing - 155
5. Still Chewing - 153
6. Crash of Titans - 152
7. Push Pete's Button - 139
8= Hippy F1 - 135
8= Lord of the Wings - 135
11. Parkes Winners - 118
12. Better the Vettel You Know - 117
13. The Pitstop Princess - 113
14. Put the Vettel on (push the Button) - 110
15= Sebastian Vettel's High Flying Turds - 106*
15= Beauty & the F1 Geek - 106
17. AbeFromanRacing - 95
18. Ferrari Fanatic - 89