China - "We really had that one"

A tale of hero to zero at China. Red Bull pulled out a Williams-style performance taking a front-row lock-out and trashing it. Despite discussion about the Mercedes now being tailored for Schumacher, Rosberg still trounced him - retire, old man.

It was delightful that the volcano kept Eddie Jordan in the UK, Christian Horner felt it was like Ant without Dec. Ah, that perennial question, who is the most annoying?

The weekend had got off to a spectacular start with Buemi losing both front tyres simultaneously: "From the car it was not a problem. I just lost both wheels." Following a reasonably exciting qualifying, the word on the radio from the Red Bull was: "Who needs ride height control anyway?" Answer: the Red Bulls. As the race progressed it was very much, pick a tyre, any tyre. Alonso (and some others) spent most of the race in the pits.

There's 3 long weeks (they'll be shorter for some of us than others) until the next race. It will be in Spain, unless it's in China. And note that the league results might change as I await the stewards' verdicts on the various racing incidents.

China Charts

Chart of Lust


1. (new entry) Papa Button's lucky pink shirt returns - why not? It works
2. (new entry) Low-tech espionage for high-tech design - just stick some engineers around the device in question and no one can take sneaky photos
3. (down 1) Rain - does the business yet again
4. (new entry) Clouds of ash - not convenient for everyone, but kept EJ in the UK
5. (new entry) Rosberg - finally, conclusive proof that Schumi is as poor a driver as I have always claimed, Williams know how to raise them


Chart of Loathing


1. (new entry) Unfortunate facial furniture - see Lewis Hamilton, or try not to
2. (new entry) Voiceovers by DC - so stilted, about as good at reading out loud as my P1s
3. (down 1) Jake and DCs matching bracelets - still?
4. (new entry) Ring of fire trophies - why?
5. (re-entry) The new graphics - still rubbish

China Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 232
2. Blood on the tracks - 199
3. Gurning Rubber - 197
4. The Young and the Restless - 190
5= The Lord of the Wings - 183
5= Liuzzi goes bananas - 183
7. The Pitstop Princess - 179
8. Chew Chew Joe - 177
9= Corpus Christi - Trimble - 171
9= You will never see me in Lederhosen - 171
11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 162
12. Hippy F1 - 156
13. Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 138
14. Birley Chassis - 131
15. Wheely wheely fast - 127
16. The Cake King - 126
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 55

Malaysia Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Adrian Newey - please come back to Williams
2. (up 1) Rain - this time for qualifying, sets up great races
3. (new entry) Newbies First Points - Alguasauri and Hulkenberg, watching them take their first steps
4. (re-entry) Lotus - cheery Tony Fernandes and pretty colours everywhere
5. (new entry) Johnny Herbert - the fourth steward for the race, why didn't I notice in the 90s that he's as camp as Christmas?

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Sweaty Eddie - everyone commented
2. (new entry) Jake and DCs matching bracelets - are they Forever Friends?
3. (new entry) Helmet Dryers - to dry out the sweat - ew
4. (down 2) Bitter Twist of Fate - this time for Webber with a sticking wheelnut
5. (new entry) Coolvests - now with sponsorship but they still look like floating aids for toddlers

Malaysia - "Is that sweet or is that sweet?"

Qualifying set the stage for a race full of overtaking with Massa, Alonso, Button and Hamilton out after the first session and at the back of the grid. As Hamilton said, they're a team and they win together and they lose together and qualifying was losing together. So, yawn, the Red Bulls were 1 and 3 but Rosberg was almost one second faster and six places ahead than his team mate.

Williams qualified well, setting them up to return to their old ways of throwing it all away in the race. The old man stalled on the grid.

So, the race, Bernie said that if it doesn't rain he wants his money back. Well, the Malaysian government will have their chequebook out then. Nevertheless it was still a good race.

Schumi finished the race with a "three wheely car", does this make him the Del Boy of the pitlane? More Mercedes news: how is it possible to change tyres in 3.9 seconds? It took me longer to type that.

At at the end of the race, Massa leads the championship. What? How? 2nd, 5th and 7th. Vettel skipped to the podium but it seems unfair that he's not leading the championship or Webber, who looked fuming in the press conference. A perfect podium? Well other than the flags being wrong - turns out Roberg is Australian and Webber a German.

Rosberg said he was very happy to give Mercedes their first podium. I am very happy it was him too, given the alternative. He seems to be raising a smile on Ross Brawn's face unlike his team mate. If there are no results for Schumacher after China, four races in, what will he do? Here's hoping it's something spectacular.

Malaysia Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 206
2. Gurning Rubber - 142
3= Lord of the Wings - 136
3= Hippy F1 - 136
5. Blood on the tracks - 133
6. The Pitstop Princess - 129
7.Liuzzi goes bananas - 128
8. Corpus Christi - Trimble - 124
9. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 123
10. Birley Chassis - 115
11. The Young and the Restless - 110
12. Chew Chew Joe - 109
13. You will never see me in Lederhosen - 105
14. Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 99
15. The Cake King - 89
16. Wheely wheely fast - 86
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 52