Sunday, 31 July 2011

Hungary GP - "Perfect going into the Summer break, let's come back and win them all."

Well I am going to keep this brief, I enjoyed the race for many reasons, so here is one huge Chart of Lust:

  • Massa finally outqualifying Alonso, badly needed for the also-ran Brazilian

  • Cake, Button eulogised about the three he received to celebrate his 200th race, a man after my own heart

  • Umbrella holders, with one arm in a sling and a rainy forecast, it's something I really covet

  • Wet race, so much more exciting, I think I am beginning to agree with Bernie, bring on the sprinklers

  • Fireworks from Heidfeld, continuing the old-school revival

  • No team orders at McLaren, thank you Whitmarsh

  • 88 pit stops, a new record, not sure whether this is good or bad, please post your thoughts

  • Unusual trophy, a nice break from the usual Santander promo merch

  • Hamilton wasn't sulky or bitter, he must have been sent on a PR refresher course

Lastly, I must add a thought on Sky buying the rights to the coverage. Jake opened the qualifying coverage with a joke about pink shirts, as if to say "What do we care about imminent job loss?". If only they'd charged Shell for that extended advert then they could have afforded the complete rights.

Hungary GP Results

1. Glock, Stock and Two Smoking Constructors - 715
2. Still Chewing - 698
3. Besta di Resta - 654
4. Gurning Rubber - 616
5. Lord of the Wings - 583
6= The Pitstop Princess - 565
6= Trulli Scrumptious - 565
8. The Best Team - 558
9. Fuelled by Tiger Blood - 543
10. Must Do Better... - 526
11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 441
12. Ferrari Fanatic - 347
13. Hippy F1 - 306
14. Wheelie Wheelie Fast - 284

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

German GP - "Great job....keep pushing"

I'm going to keep this posting brief, as I am typing with my left hand owing to right shoulder breakage at the weekend. Sorry to disappoint as I am sure you were expecting some half way trough the season report.
First key point to note is that the last non-Red Bell pole was a Williams. Secondly, why no mention of the Renault deal? Thirdly, why did it take the Beeb so many laps to realise that Barrichello had retired?
Quote of the weekend goes to Alguasauri who, on the grid, told Brundle "This is one of those races where you need to stay on the track."
All in all it seemed to be a bad day at the office for most. Being in Germany gave DC and Brundle the chance to reminisce about all of DC's past failings and to constantly correct how DC is pronouncing "Vettel". WITH ONE L. The Germans did noy fare well at thheir home track. Webber and Massa continue to show that it doesn't matter what they or anyone else does, they are going to be also-rans.
Post-race shennigans were also enjoyablw with Webber giving Alonso a lift old-style and Hamilton hugging people who clearly did not want him in their personal space.

German GP Results

1. Glock, Stock and Two Smoking Constructors - 664
2. Still Chewing - 647
3. Besta di Resta - 587
4. Gurning Rubber - 563
5. The Best Team - 528
6. Lord of the Wings - 524
7= The Pitstop Princess - 517
7= Trulli Scrumptious - 517
9. Fuelled by Tiger Blood - 500
10. Must do better... - 475
11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 379
12. Ferrari Fanatic - 301
13. Hippy F1 - 281
14. Wheelie Wheelie Fast - 261

Sunday, 10 July 2011

Silverstone GP - "It's a fantastic day Fernando"

Murray Walker introduced the race weekend commenting that Hamilton was ever more "despondant and depressed", well if he chose those words for Hamilton, what is left to describe how Webber is feeling now? FoM TV need to develop a split-screen for times like the last laps where we needed to see both the Massa-Hamilton battle and and Vettel-Webber one. After the winner's team radio was aired, for some reason the director felt we should hear the fourth placed driver too, which was a pep talk to the team from Pipsqueak, who may finally be getting the hang of PR.

I hope everyone did better than I with the new layout of Silverstone: "the back is now the front" and so on. Perhaps that is why the old men of F1 couldn't come to grips with the changes and their younger teammates outshone them again. I don't know how the pundits could call that a great race for Schumi when his teammate finished three places ahead of him. I hear it's all relative. Perhaps the layout was also responsible for Button being unable to tell left from right (I know, pot calling the kettle black), I have started knitting him some special L and R gloves.

It all finished with the most excited champagne spraying of the season. Special mention must go to Prince Harry for his costume changes. Lastly, Alonso promises that they will be aggressive and go for the win at every race, so the season looks like it can only get better.

I hope you are all proud that I managed this post without once mentioning hot or cold blown exhausts?

Silverstone Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Wet (ish) qualifying - three good reasons: Hamilton 10th, Maldonado 7th, Webber 1st
2. (new entry) Vettel's helmet design incorporating the faces of his enginneers - noble
3. (new entry) Damon Hill - everywhere, all credit due and looking more and more like George Harrison every day
4. (new entry) Flasks of tea - ah, our home grand prix
5. (new entry) Nice cardi - Murray Walker

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Team orders - "Maintain the gap Mark" - they might be legal but they're not loved
2. (new entry) Old men - naming no names, retire, your whippersnapper teammates are showing you up
3. (new entry) BBC's futuristic Silverstone package - fundamentally failing to understand the appeal of Silverstone and it's heritage
4. (re-entry) McLaren's qualifying outfits - still look like jesters
5. (re-entry) Clapping ladies - this time dressed as building society cashiers, I thought they were supposed to be sexily attired or is this Moseley's other fetish?

Silverstone GP Results

1. Glock, Stock and Two Smoking Constructors - 609
2. Still Chewing - 591
3. Gurning Rubber - 516
4. Besta di Resta - 507
5. The Best Team - 474
6= The Pitstop Princess - 472
6= Trulli Scrumptious - 472
8. Lord of the Wings - 461
9. Fuelled by Tiger Blood - 455
10. Must do better... - 438
11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 354
12. Hippy F1 - 280
13. Ferrari Fanatic - 259
14. Wheelie Wheelie Fast - 225

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Goodwood Festival of Speed 2011 Notes

Aside from perusing beautiful cars old and new, the Festival of Speed provides insights into the world of motor racing. Here is what I gleaned from this year's visit.

Still Chewing pointed out that there is nothing new in F1, this 1900-type Lohner-Porsche has electric motors on it's front wheels.

I think I've found the design flaw that has led to Williams poor performance this year. As suspected the radical three-wheel concept was the wrong way to go.

Still, they feel they're on to a winner with next year's design:

As ever, Red Bull say "What regulations?"

Lotus unveilled a new driving strategy to keep themselves from earning any serious points this season:

I've found out how former F1 commentators earn a few meagre pennies to keep themselves afloat. Can you name either of the two below (add a comment to do so)?

Lastly, if anyone would like to show their appreciation of the site by way of a small token, I would like one of these please:

A Morgan Aero

Guess which lucky former F1 world champion got to meet the Pitstop Princess at Goodwood?

Here's a clue...he drove this car...


Nigel Mansell. I was quick to blame him for my long-suffering ordeal as a Williams supporter and he assures me *BIG NEWS* that Williams is going to make an announcement on Monday that is great news and will make everyone happy. Following discussion, I have decided this could be one of three things:

1. They will announce who is replacing Sam Michael (this is the most-likely).

2. A new engine supplier (this is my favourite).

3. A Mansell Jr. is going to drive for them!

I'll keep you all updated on this space.