Mexico GP - a champion is crowned

Another guest post this week - from Halo, Baby!

Due to baby pitstop making the most of the extra hour of night to scream all night long, we were not in a fit enough state to produce a full race review. And as Hamilton haters, we weren’t in celebratory mood.

Granadors (winners)

ê   The man in the ‘Day of The Dead’ costume who started the formation lap – Excellent puppetry with his mask... I loves a puppet;

ê   Lewis Hamilton – Awesome start and won a world championship (though he didn’t seem to think so  as he p**sed and moaned about the whole day until the chequered flag appeared);

ê   Stoffel (Vandoorne) – Despite being rank last every time I looked at the positions, he seemed to get a top-ten points finish. Good on him, the wee rascal;

ê   Williams – Finally beating Haas in the ‘don’t be last’ stakes;

ê   Max Verstappen – He and his Red Bull seem to have mastered this track, what with the back-to-back wins. Maybe he loves the thin air, maybe he loves burritos. He’s the first driver to win five races without even having been on pole though and he won this with his engine “turned down”;

Perdedors (losers)

ê   Danny Ric – Slow start (though he did called it pre-race on slip-streaming front) then just no luck with the engine front (not sure what “Fail 38” technically is, but it presents itself as smoke billowing out the back and no power);

ê   The guy SkyF1 interviewed in the build-up with the McLaren tattoo on his back – He was even mocked for the F1 logo having changed;

ê   Folk with stadium section ‘seats’ – There didn’t appear to be an seats, just concrete with numbers painted on it..... I’ve been asked not to turn this into a stadium blog;

ê   Fernando Alonso – Inadvertently, this week’s (first) victim of the Force India wrecking crew;

ê   Sergio Perez – Going out with a whimper;

Frases Divertidas (Funny things said)

ê   “Slower than a slow thing” – Martin Brundle describing Kimi’s Ferrari going through a corner;

ê   “Just Focus” – Ghoulish Gasly put in his place by his engineer;

ê   “Vettel just past Hamilton. Hamilton isn’t happy” – Red Bull update Daniel Ricciardo with a touch of mirth

ê   “Hey Lewis, congrats man. That’s how you do it, baby! Just like I taught you” – Will Smith ruins Hamilton’s championship party by talking guff

Mexico GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly - 1,063*
2.

Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys

 - 1,025
3. Maximum Attack - 1,000*
4. Evel Marque - 999*
5. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 789*
6. Hasstag#FaceBull - 783*
7. The Hopefulls - 743*
8. No Vices Now - 737*
9. The Pitstop Princess - 633*
10. Halo, baby! - 626*
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 601*
12. Hippy F1 - 554*
13. Jack Johnson - 548*
14. Wheels on Fire - 526

*Home track played

I have no idea who has paid and not - so if you haven't please get your dough in as soon as possible.

US GP - "...finally"

I didn't make any notes for this race...and I watched it over two days...and I'm typing this on the third.

Thrilled that Kimi won a race.  Thrilled that Hamilton isn't world champion.  Very aware that Vettel would be a really poor world champion.

Next stop Mexico!

US GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly! - 989*
2. Two world champions, two future world champions, and um, two other guys - 951*
3. Evel Marque - 938*
4. Maximum Attack! - 878
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 743*
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 729*
7. The Hopefulls - 719*
8. No Vices Now - 711*
9. The Pitstop Princess - 614*
10. Halo, baby! - 608*
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 567*
12. Hippy F1 - 525*
13. Jack Johnson - 517*
14. Wheels on Fire - 501

* Home track

Japan GP - "Absolutely perfect"

Japan always delivers and this year it delivered overtaking in the midfield.  Leclerc featured in lots of this despite a run in with Ericcson: "He's stupid.  It's a fact"

A five second penalty was handed out to Verstappen and it began to feel like Liberty really want Mercedes (and Hamilton) to win at any cost.  The five second penalties came thick and fast after that; ruthless Japanese efficiency.

It was so busy midfield that if Hamilton and Bottas hadn't pitted, we wouldn't have seen them all race.  Vettel we did see as he lost it completely and seems to be desperate and under a lot of pressure; although he did post the fastest lap.

Will Hamilton clinch the championship at the next race?  Yes.

Japan GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly! - 932*
2.

Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys

- 896*

3. Evel Marque - 879*

4. Maximum Attack! - 819

5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 725*

6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 711*

7. No Vices Now - 686*

8. The Hopefulls - 673*

9. The Pitstop Princess - 600*

10. Halo, Baby! - 596*

11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 542*

12. Hippy F1 - 488*

13. Jack Johnson - 470*

14. Wheels on Fire - 458

* Home track played

Russia GP - Results

1. Give it some Gasly! - 887*
2. Two World Champions, Two Future World Champions, and um, Two Other Guys - 851*
3. Evel Marque - 821*
4. Maximum Attack! - 761
5. Hasstag#FaceBull - 667*
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 657*
7. No Vices Now - 641*
8. The Hopefulls - 631*
9. The Pitstop Princess - 573*
10. Halo, Baby! - 569*
11. Spa Day with a Shooey - 505*
12. Hippy F1 - 465*
13. Jack Johnson - 440
14. Wheels on Fire - 430

* Home track played

Russia GP - "We'll talk about it later"

Guest blog this week from Halo, Baby!

It was already shaping up to be a poor race weekend on Saturday when it was announced that dirty Di Resta would be co-commentator for Sky, when Sirotkin killed-off Q1 by spinning out to cause a yellow flag and when Q2 became the most pointless 12 minutes of the season so far (as 3 of the 15 drivers had massive penalties and 2 were not running due to tyre tactics).

At the risk of pissing in the wind, I’m getting so sick of SkyF1’s infatuation with Lewis Hamilton, who I will never stop despising. I mean, why did the grid-walk have to be interrupted to show a fluff piece where Hamilton, dressed like a holidaying Rupert the bear, was interviewed in Borneo by Anthony Davidson about eco stuff (no mention of irony in terms of the carbon footprint caused by the F1 circuit killing the Borneon rain forrest). 

The lovely folk at Liberty Media have brought in a mixed bag audiovisual stylings to F1, summed up in a race where 37 laps in we witnessed a “the Pit Window is OPEN” flashing graphic. And then there’s Hamilton’s “gangsta” F1 profile pic where he does the pointy gun thing.... Though the slow-mo internal graphic of a Sauber’s brakes was pretty damn cool.

So, what did we learn from this race? 

- No one notices Toro Rosso anymore (it escaped us that they both went out within the first half-dozen laps);

- That Williams and McLaren have forgotten who they were and should be and have entered into a race to become the new Marussia [Ed. Make that Minardi];

- That Carlos Sainz has a long memory and a strong sense of justice (“remember the 5 second penalty I got two years ago for...”)

- That Force India are no longer prepared allow Perez to write-off cars for our entertainment;

- That Vettel has resigned himself to runner up this year, as displayed by blowing within a few corners his position ahead of Hamilton;

- That Max Verstappen has an “ultimate objective” (according to early team radio) and that he’s so freaking fast he’ll probably achieve it;

- That the (not) podium interviewers think up their own questions.... and that this is a very poor idea;

- That Di Resta thinks Hamilton is “a very special human being”;

- That it’s OK to shaft Bottas for a couple of (ultimately unnecessary) driver points for Hamilton;

- That Toto Wolfe is crap at apologies;

- Oh, and that beards are officially no longer hip (as demonstrated by Putin’s wee buddy, Bernie E)