Belgian Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (new entry) Getting an F1 fix - it's been a long three weeks, let me tell you.

2. (re-entry) Overtaking - with and without DRS

3. (re-entry) New phrases - both courtesy of 5 Live; "absolutely hosing it down" and "the radars look like Nick Clegg, a smattering of blue".

4. (new entry) Scandal - I like this one, did Maldonado deliberately neuf Pipsqueak?

5. (new entry) Chinking champagne bottles - saying "cheers" on the podium

Chart of Loathing

1. (re-entry) Eddie Jordan - for saying that Williams are an "epic fail" thi year. You're not in the Inbetweeners.

2. (re-entry) DC - for wearing Schumi's Eurotrash 20 years in F1 T-shirt.

3. (new entry) 21-carat gold helmet - made for Schumi, too much

4. (static) McLaren's qualifying overalls - designed, it turns out, by Hugo Boss.

5. (new entry) Barrichello - I don't think he knows that he has been hired to score points for Williams

Belgian Banter (no lap of honour, no comment!)

As is traditional at Spa, it was a race of heroes and zeroes. Some people achieved both. Maldonado instigated what I am going to call "toddlergate" during Qualifying (zero) but scored his first point in Formula 1, for Williams (hero). Torro Rosso had an amazing Qualifying especially Alguasauri (hero) but both drivers were out of the race early doors (zero). Rosberg had an incredible start, I don't think anyone could believe their eyes when he went from 5th to 1st (hero) and was then overtaken by his team mate at the end of the race (zero). Schumacher takes the trophy for this though, with a wheel falling off his car in Q1, leaving him starting last on the grid during his 20th anniversary race (zero) and finishing 5th (hero).

Belgian GP Results

1. Glock, Stock and Two Smoking Constructors - 774

2. Still Chewing - 759

3. Besta di Resta - 710

4. Gurning Rubber - 681

5. The Best Team - 680

6. Trulli Scrumptious - 675

7. Lord of the Wings - 637

8. The Pitstop Princess - 620

9. Fuelled by Tiger Blood - 598

10. Must do better... - 574

11. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 471

12. Ferrari Fanatic - 392

13. Hippy F1 - 324

Wheelie Wheelie Fast - 320

Can you name this driver?

Leave your answer in a comment below. I will reveal who it is on Sunday.

Driver line-up changes

Mr Semi-Reliable Heidfeld has been dropped for the Belgium Grand Prix this weekend. He is being replaced by Lotus Renault's third driver Bruno Senna. I'll take this opportunity to remind FF1 participants that you don't score points for the drive/seat, it's the points scored by the individual.

Button is not "just a lazy playboy"

Click on the title for exhibit #2.

JB would choose James Hunt for his team mate. If further evidence were required, he appears to have resigned as a playboy to become the ambassador to Japan.

Cheer Up!

Hey, it's Tuesday, we're not even half way through the week. I know that most of you will need cheering up. (Me? I've had good news on the arm front from the hospital today. Which does it for me.) So my suggestion is to watch Button's Head & Shoulders ad and have a good chortle. And even if it doesn't make you laugh, you can consider yourself lucky that you don't feel the need to do such demeaning things for money. Go ahead, click on the title.

The Effect of Pay-to-View F1 Around the World

James Allen posted this article on his website today. He sites the move of live race coverage to a pay channel as a contributing factor to the demise of the popularity of F1 in Japan. If you can uninspire a people as fanatical as the Japanese, what might the Sky/BBC deal result in the UK F1 following, who are fickle and only tune in when times are good anyway?

New 2011 Race Announced

Formula 1 is going to....(drum roll)....Manchester! Okay, okay, it's a Vodafone promo stunt, so only Jenson Button will driving along Deansgate, down John Dalton Street and into Albert Square. It takes place on 29 August. We all know that JB and McLaren prefer one (non-prancing) horse races. The other obvious joke this gives us the chance to make is whether he'll get in the car only to find the tyres have been replaced by bricks.

The Pitstop Princess Tweets

If it's good enough for HRH The Queen, then perhaps I should consider it. One can "follow" me at @PitstopPrincess.

F1 Film News

Has there ever been a time when there weren't rumours about a Formula 1 film being produced? Here's an interview with Apollo 13 and The Da Vinci Code director, Ron Howard about his project. He "expects" it to be about the 1976 championship battle between Nikki Lauda and James Hunt. This really implies he hasn't actually read the script that has already been written by Frost/Nixon writer Peter Morgan. It will have a "European budget", which I am translating as: "The cars are going to made out of papier mache and any wideshots will be of a Scaletrix track." I am also anticipating an Allo Allo style German accent from the actor playing Lauda. Best guesses for the actor to play Hunt posted as a comment will win a pat on the back.

Conspiracy Theories

We all know F1 fans like scandal, intrigue, spy stories and conspiracy theories more than most. Top of the pile at the moment is how Red Bull can promote Vettel over Webber without appearing to show any favouritism. My latest theory is that all the other Red Bull "daredevil" sports are just a cunning way to assassinate Mark through "extreme sports accidents".

Here is their latest effort.

Announcing a new thread

Proving Jenson Button is not just a playboy.

Flavio Briatore once famously declared that "JB" is "just a lazy playboy". The Pitstop Princess feels this is unjust and would like to exonerate the gent as he is one of the UK's top three favourite current F1 drivers. Please bring any evidence you find to refute the allegation to my attention.

Click here for exhibit #1.