Monday, 30 August 2010

Belgium Caption Competition

You have two weeks to submit your bestest, wittiest captions by commenting below.

Belgium Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 684 *
2. Blood on the tracks - 670
3. The Lord of the Wings - 623
4. Chew Chew Joe - 617 *
5. Hippy F1 - 589 *
6. The Young and the Restless - 571
7. Gurning Rubber - 567 *
8. Liuzzi goes bananas - 553
9. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 544
10. Corpus Christi - Trimble - 539
11. You will never see me in Lederhosen - 526 *
12. The Pitstop Princess - 491
13. Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 485 *
14. Wheely wheely fast - 432
15. Birley Chassis - 374 *
16. The Cake King - 373 *
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 188

There are a few teams that haven't paid there fees yet this year (I've asterisked you). Drop me an email to let me know about receiving payment, otherwise I'll drop you from the next race.

Belgian Banter

Another exciting race yet fairly fruitless for the Pitstop Princess. It followed a heart-stopping qualifying where Williams pipped Mercedes into the top 10. Then to the race, following Webber's atrocious start, one Williams was lost on lap 2. Barrichello celebrated 300 race starts by proving that starting is easy, finishing is much harder and you hamper your chances if you drive into other competitors.

Conspiracy theorists may wonder whether Massa missing his starting box on the grid and potentially getting penalised was a canny way for Ferrari to get Alonso ahead of him without any media wrath.

Williams went on to have a drivesomething problem with the Hulk's car, ruining another promising race weekend. Other lowlights include Vettel's (or Baby Schumi) attempts to prove that there is only one German on the grid that can really pull dangerous driving manoeuvres and poor Kubica overshooting his pitbox and losing 2nd place.

What did I enjoy in the race? Petrov's rise through the pack. Senna's super spins. Lucky Lewis holding it all together through the gravel trap. Mr Pitstop Princess's comments during the race. As a newbie he wondered if the pitlane is where Power Rangers retire to when they are too fat to fight evil and whether the Belgian clapping ladies were wearing sashes to collect badges on.

Forgive the omission of the charts this week, school is too busy for such trifles but I would have included post-holiday tans on the Chart of Lust and Ledgard being on a time-delay on the Chart of Loathing.

Sunday, 1 August 2010

Hungary Charts

Chart of Lust

1. (re-entry) Newbies - The Hulk outqualifies Barrichello, Petrov outqualified Kubica and Rosberg 6, Schumacher 14. Retire old men.
2. (new entry) Bernie - for saying about team orders/tactics: "They're all dressed the same.
3. (new entry) Ledgard - for saying: "Michael Schumacher's gone soft." Obviously he was referring to his tyre choice not his driving style.
4. (new entry) Barrichello - for finally speaking out
5. (new entry) Anniversaries - 150 races for Webber, 100 for Red Bull

Chart of Loathing

1. (new entry) Sabotage - what's the betting Schumacher fixed it so that the mechanics didn't properly attached all of Rosberg's wheels.
2. (new entry) Sulking - Massa last weekend, Vettel this weekend.
3. (up 1) Reluctant hugs - Seb doesn't want a hug, Mark, it won't make it better.
4. (new entry) The trophy - a wooden animal carcass? Just what I wanted.
5. (new entry) Whitmarsh's Ray Bans - I don't care if Jenson gets you them for free, take them off.

Hungary Hectoring - "Black flag, black flag, that was terrible"

An odd editorial decision by the BBC this week led to the coverage being a obituary of Sir Frank and the Williams team. They kept referring to Sir Frank in the past tense and pointing out that the last win was in 2004. Very cheery. With Force India struggling again this weekend, it was actually a big opportunity for Williams, which they capitalised upon brilliantly. The BBC also, finally, used the Abba song "Fernando" to illustrate the Massa/Alonso battle. I have waited many years for some producer to succumb.

Qualifying was quite exciting with Schumacher and Button struggling to get in to Q3 and Whitmarsh commenting that, in 5th position, McLaren were: "the best of the fixed-wing vehicles". The genius of Adrian Newey strikes again.

The race had it's ups and downs, where a procession had been predicted. Alguasaumi and Hamilton both retired. Hamilton looking sadly at his car thinking: "Can I have a blue one now please?". I had to rewind the coverage to understand what was happening during the pit lane chaos during the safety car period. Then Vettel demonstrated that not all drivers have a photographic memory and can remember every rule in that BIG rulebook. This left him very upset and even "took his hands off the wheel" during his drive-through. The climax of the race was Barrichello's (in a Williams!) overtaking of Schumacher. Didn't he punish the poor Brazilian enough during the Ferrari years? Ruebens commented: "Luckily the wall finished there" in response to being drive into it. The unluckiest man in F1, Webber, seems to be turning his fate around this year. His win: "was a gift but I haven't had many of them, so I'll take this one now".

It's very very close points-wise (20) between the top five drivers in the championship. At some point the teams are going to have to promote one driver above the other, if they haven't already. Watch this space for fireworks but in the meantime happy holidays.

Hungary Results

1. Que Senna Senna - 644
2. Blood on the tracks - 620
3. Chew Chew Joe - 592
4. The Lord of the Wings - 565
5. Gurning Rubber - 541
6. Hippy F1 - 531
7. The Young and the Restless - 530
8. Liuzzi goes bananas - 527
9. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 520
10. Corpus Christi - Trimble - 487
11. Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars - 464
12. The Pitstop Princess - 458
13. You will never see me in Lederhosen - 448
14. Wheely wheely fast - 418
15. The Cake King - 373
16. Birley Chassis - 350
17. Ferrari Fanatic - 155