- Bring back refuelling
- Change the tyres again
- 1 in every 200 tyres is pre-punctured
- Release an actual red bull on to the track
- The Safety Car Randomiser - a computer-generated lottery triggers a safety car situation
Monday 8 July 2013
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How about drivers are randomly given a pit slot, so they are only allowed to change tires (and or refuel) in the lap number drawn out a hat - Mr Hamilton, pit in lap 1; Mr Alonso, pit in lap 60.... Bald tires, tough luck!
ReplyDeleteExtreme team orders, where Massa style mischief (out and out blocking in Brazil)and Pique Jr crashing is their only role.
Or Super Mario Kart style weapon like banana skins and turtle shells.
Whilst the race is in progress Michael Schumacher must dress up in a clowns outfit and drive out onto the track in an ice cream van. He must complete 3 laps on 3 separate occasions during the race with the van song playing. At the end of each such occasion he must subsequently park in the pit lane where then each driver must at least once during the race pit to buy a random flavour of ice cream (correct change only) (sprinkles/nuts are mandatory). The drivers must then eat said ice cream whilst racing with their visor up.
ReplyDeleteThere is a joker in the pack: Whichever driver receives the 'tutti frutti' flavour of ice cream - they must pause at some point during the race in the home straight and then perform a 'doughnut'. If said doughnut is not performed to the satisfaction of the stewards - the driver must pit again to buy an ice cream for his whole team (correct change only).
'What up...'
Inspired by the Michael Schumacher idea above:
ReplyDeleteLeave the racing exactly as it is but tie Schumacher to a gate post in the paddock. Charge £100 a pop to Hill, Barricello, Irvine, Coulthard, common decency etc fans to rain blows down on him until dragged off by the next impatient person in the queue.
Properly advertised this should generate enough takers to provide dull-race-fill-in footage for at least a whole season.
Perhaps on the red button it could be an option, like the driver-tracker, to have live footage of MS being beaten up constantly displayed in the corner of the screen.
Actually, it could be a dedicated TV channel - I would record it.
Wouldn't that make us all feel just a little better. ;-)
Everyone gets a shot in the vacant Red Bull seat but only if their denial that they are interested in it is sincere.
ReplyDelete