1. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 357
2. Evel Marque - 354*
3. Bernie is a hobbit - 339
4. No Vices Now - 315
5= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 310
5= Torque of the Devil - 310
7. The Pitstop Princess - 305
8. Moneyball - 276
9. Slightly Slower Racing - 254
10 Beauty & the F1 Geek - 250
11. BOT-RAI-PER - 245
12= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 240
12= Even More Hopeful - 240
14. Burn After Racing - 216
15. Hippy F1 - 203
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
Monaco GP - "Does it look comfortable?"
*** THE PITSTOP PRINCESS IS CURRENTLY ENJOYING A RESTORATIVE BREAK IN AN NHS HEALTH SPA. IN TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE, THE PART OF ‘THE NARRATOR’ WILL BE PLAYED BY MONEYBALL ***
After being asked to guest-write this blog, I watched the full race and post-race reaction on All4 in the wee small hours of Sunday night. (I skipped the pre-race dinner with royalty, as I object to modern-day slavery…)
After a weekend where competitors spectacularly blew up in other sports (Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup, Chelsea gifting Arsene a new contract instead of the boot, Alonso – literally – in Indy, and ‘everyone else but the eventual winner’ in the PGA Championship), would the Monaco GP have the same drama?
No, of course not. For the most part, it was a procession, punctuated only by pit-stop leap-frogs, ‘optimistic’ passing attempts and some drivers forgetting how cold brakes and tyres work (i.e. they don’t).
Still, it was beautiful weather in a stunning backdrop, and Vettel’s (deserved) victory really sets up the remainder of the season, particularly the next race in Canada. Can we just assume it’ll be Mercedes’ to win? The frequency of their off weekends seems to be increasing…
There were some funny moments in the coverage too, notably:
· Jaw-dropping naivety from a 3-time world champion in qualifying: crashes are inevitable – get a time in, you arrogant idiot!
· Channel 4’s foreshadowing of a controversial winner with the #1984 pre-race segment;
· DC morphing into Donald Trump with his outrageous tan and genuine lines such as "I'm a big fan of beautiful ladies". Oh dear god. (The Sky Sports grid-walker obviously heard it too – she was all actual pointy elbows when DC was trying to steal an interviewee…)
· On the grid-walk, Webber asking Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeene – "What can you do, mate?" Really Mark? The answer is “Disappoint”, as usual;
· Button and Alonso’s radio love-in, which seemed genuinely warm… …like Button’s pee;
· Bottas’s dead-pan response to "Only if you're comfortable, strat6". Well played, sir, well played.
· Max confounding pundits with wit, grace and maturity after the race – "That's racing – today we were unlucky". Bet that’s not what he said in the motorhome, though…
· Beauty and the F1 Geek refusing to take her eyes off the screen and stopping her son from chatting to her with the putdown “Shhh Harry - it's Chris Hemsworth”. True story.
Speaking of the Hemsworth, both DC and Webber identified him as being the star of Thor (ummm, not Rush??) and Chris mentioned it was his first F1 race (ummm, not method then??).
As for the racing?
· Pity poor Perez, who gets caught behind Stroll and Palmer at the same time. Took him another 15-20 laps to eventually get past these duds. How long until they are replaced? Place your bets…
· At one point, the racing was so dull that the commentators start talking about how hard it is to man the pit boards during the Monaco GP. I don’t doubt this, but it’s certainly a new low for topics of discussion.
· However, all of this dullness was overshadowed by the frankly explosive 2 or 3 laps where Vettel and Ricciardo were unleashed and made their moves up the leaderboard. I was stunned and gripped by the on-board footage of these two hammering round such a twisty, tight course, millimetres from the barriers and taking 1 to 2 seconds off their previous times. Wow – just wow.
Actually, I’ll sign off on that theme. Anyone who doubts the talent or commitment of F1 drivers (in particular, ageing ones) should watch those laps and the Race of Champions 2017 highlights, also on All4. Button and DC were very competitive in ROC and Massa was genuinely bossing it, only getting DQ'd from the semis on a technicality...
Until next time!
After being asked to guest-write this blog, I watched the full race and post-race reaction on All4 in the wee small hours of Sunday night. (I skipped the pre-race dinner with royalty, as I object to modern-day slavery…)
After a weekend where competitors spectacularly blew up in other sports (Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup, Chelsea gifting Arsene a new contract instead of the boot, Alonso – literally – in Indy, and ‘everyone else but the eventual winner’ in the PGA Championship), would the Monaco GP have the same drama?
No, of course not. For the most part, it was a procession, punctuated only by pit-stop leap-frogs, ‘optimistic’ passing attempts and some drivers forgetting how cold brakes and tyres work (i.e. they don’t).
Still, it was beautiful weather in a stunning backdrop, and Vettel’s (deserved) victory really sets up the remainder of the season, particularly the next race in Canada. Can we just assume it’ll be Mercedes’ to win? The frequency of their off weekends seems to be increasing…
There were some funny moments in the coverage too, notably:
· Jaw-dropping naivety from a 3-time world champion in qualifying: crashes are inevitable – get a time in, you arrogant idiot!
· Channel 4’s foreshadowing of a controversial winner with the #1984 pre-race segment;
· DC morphing into Donald Trump with his outrageous tan and genuine lines such as "I'm a big fan of beautiful ladies". Oh dear god. (The Sky Sports grid-walker obviously heard it too – she was all actual pointy elbows when DC was trying to steal an interviewee…)
· On the grid-walk, Webber asking Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeene – "What can you do, mate?" Really Mark? The answer is “Disappoint”, as usual;
· Button and Alonso’s radio love-in, which seemed genuinely warm… …like Button’s pee;
· Bottas’s dead-pan response to "Only if you're comfortable, strat6". Well played, sir, well played.
· Max confounding pundits with wit, grace and maturity after the race – "That's racing – today we were unlucky". Bet that’s not what he said in the motorhome, though…
· Beauty and the F1 Geek refusing to take her eyes off the screen and stopping her son from chatting to her with the putdown “Shhh Harry - it's Chris Hemsworth”. True story.
Speaking of the Hemsworth, both DC and Webber identified him as being the star of Thor (ummm, not Rush??) and Chris mentioned it was his first F1 race (ummm, not method then??).
As for the racing?
· Pity poor Perez, who gets caught behind Stroll and Palmer at the same time. Took him another 15-20 laps to eventually get past these duds. How long until they are replaced? Place your bets…
· At one point, the racing was so dull that the commentators start talking about how hard it is to man the pit boards during the Monaco GP. I don’t doubt this, but it’s certainly a new low for topics of discussion.
· However, all of this dullness was overshadowed by the frankly explosive 2 or 3 laps where Vettel and Ricciardo were unleashed and made their moves up the leaderboard. I was stunned and gripped by the on-board footage of these two hammering round such a twisty, tight course, millimetres from the barriers and taking 1 to 2 seconds off their previous times. Wow – just wow.
Actually, I’ll sign off on that theme. Anyone who doubts the talent or commitment of F1 drivers (in particular, ageing ones) should watch those laps and the Race of Champions 2017 highlights, also on All4. Button and DC were very competitive in ROC and Massa was genuinely bossing it, only getting DQ'd from the semis on a technicality...
Until next time!
Spain GP - Results
Now, I did write notes on the Spanish GP but they are incomprehensible at the time of typing. The time of typing follows watching the actual race live as our son had been packed off to his grandparents as I was in labour. Three weeks followed in which we were mainly in hospital with the New Son. Now Son #2 is asleep and #1 is in nursery, so here is my window of opportunity and I can't for the life of me remember what happened in Barca.
1. Evel Marque - 298*
2. No Vices Now - 294
3. Bernie is a hobbit - 280
4= Torque of the Devil - 277
4= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 277
6. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 274
7. The Pitstop Princess - 249
8. Moneyball - 233
9= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 203
9= Slightly Slower Racing - 203
9= Even more hopeful - 203
12. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 199
13. BOT-RAI-PER - 187
14. Burn After Racing - 176
15. Hippy F1 - 166
*Home track played
1. Evel Marque - 298*
2. No Vices Now - 294
3. Bernie is a hobbit - 280
4= Torque of the Devil - 277
4= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 277
6. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 274
7. The Pitstop Princess - 249
8. Moneyball - 233
9= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 203
9= Slightly Slower Racing - 203
9= Even more hopeful - 203
12. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 199
13. BOT-RAI-PER - 187
14. Burn After Racing - 176
15. Hippy F1 - 166
*Home track played
Monday, 1 May 2017
Russia GP - "well worth the wait"
Another race full of retirements, how much longer can this go on for?
Alonso stopped on the warm-up lap. I think in the olden days we would have seen him racing back to the pits to see what can be done. Now he's keeping his head down and checking his online banking.
During the first lap, Grosjean and Palmer collided. I remember a time when we would have automatically put that on Grosjean, now we automatically blame Palmer. How long can he keep his seat? I'm also wondering why it is now so acceptable to have a good swear on team radio, they wouldn't in the press pit. Stroll also spun.
On Lap 5, Ricciardo's brakes caught fire. He was out. So when Hamilton said: "There's something wrong, I'm getting sensations", there was hope. Instead he spent the race radioing over and over about "struggling with his temps".
After those opening laps, nothing happened. At all. Well, on Lap 33 Raikkonen confused Hamilton and Bottas. Massa had a slow puncture on Lap 43. On Lap 44, Bottas requested less radio communications.
Hooray for Bottas, getting his maiden victory, I'm just very disappointed that it wasn't for Williams.
Eddie Jordan then proved he has dementia when he jumped on to the podium shouting: "Sochi, thank you for giving us an unbelievable race!" Perhaps he was worried that he was going to be sent to the gulag.
Alonso stopped on the warm-up lap. I think in the olden days we would have seen him racing back to the pits to see what can be done. Now he's keeping his head down and checking his online banking.
During the first lap, Grosjean and Palmer collided. I remember a time when we would have automatically put that on Grosjean, now we automatically blame Palmer. How long can he keep his seat? I'm also wondering why it is now so acceptable to have a good swear on team radio, they wouldn't in the press pit. Stroll also spun.
On Lap 5, Ricciardo's brakes caught fire. He was out. So when Hamilton said: "There's something wrong, I'm getting sensations", there was hope. Instead he spent the race radioing over and over about "struggling with his temps".
After those opening laps, nothing happened. At all. Well, on Lap 33 Raikkonen confused Hamilton and Bottas. Massa had a slow puncture on Lap 43. On Lap 44, Bottas requested less radio communications.
Hooray for Bottas, getting his maiden victory, I'm just very disappointed that it wasn't for Williams.
Eddie Jordan then proved he has dementia when he jumped on to the podium shouting: "Sochi, thank you for giving us an unbelievable race!" Perhaps he was worried that he was going to be sent to the gulag.
Russia GP - Results
1. Evel Marque - 272*
2. Bernie is a hobbit - 230
3. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 229
4. The Pitstop Princess - 223
5= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 210
5= Torque of the Devil - 210
7. No Vices Now - 195
8. Moneyball - 193
9. BOT-RAI-PER - 178
10. Slightly Slower Racing - 173
11= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 166
11= Even more hopeful - 166
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 162
14. Hippy F1 - 146
15. Burn after racing - 116
2. Bernie is a hobbit - 230
3. Two World Champions, two future World Champions and, um, two other guys - 229
4. The Pitstop Princess - 223
5= Hoping for an Indian Summer - 210
5= Torque of the Devil - 210
7. No Vices Now - 195
8. Moneyball - 193
9. BOT-RAI-PER - 178
10. Slightly Slower Racing - 173
11= Jenson's Whinging Legacy - 166
11= Even more hopeful - 166
13. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 162
14. Hippy F1 - 146
15. Burn after racing - 116
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