Germany Gibber - "You've been bloody fast all weekend"

Two teams really stood out in this race. Ferrari for their resurgence (both in winning and cheating) and Williams for a fabulous masterclass in travelling backwards. Both cars qualified in the top 10 and then raced to see how low they could finish and how far outside the points, failing to capitalise on a shoddy race by rivals Force India. Although full marks for the 2.9 second pitstop.


The first Schumimove of the race came when Vettel (or Baby Schumi to the German press) concentrated so hard on pushing Alonso into the wall at the start he didn't notice the other Ferrari take full advantage of the open road he was leaving clear.


Then the second Schumimove came from his old team: through gritted teeth "Fernando is faster than you. Can you confirm that you understand the message?" It was a decision that was applauded by Schumacher in post-race interviews. It must be bad.


It was a great race for team radio, playing a key part in Ordersgate as well as letting us hear Petrov getting a ticking off for not reducing his revs.


At the end of the day, Alonso gets 25 points and Massa gets a Yorkshire man on the radio: "Good lad, mate. Felipe Massa is back in business. You were very very magnanimous. You won't have any idea what that word means, so I'll explain it to you later." Massa's German haul is a small, rubbish trophy, a thesaurus and a whippet. If Vettel was not already feeling down in the mouth about finishing third at his home race, he then had to deal with a very awkward situation on the podium. Followed by an BAFTA-winning performance by Alonso describing how his opportunity to overtake came at Turn 6, the hairpin. Aside from "no comment", Massa monosyllabically described how he was not overtaken but passed.


Roll on Hungary, let's see which partnership is next to explode. Will Schumacher finally nobble Rosberg? Will Button put a brick in a custard pie, surely a clown fight is the next PR stunt for the chirpy Brits? Or will Trulli get so sick of Kovalainen's chipper "hey, I love being at the back of the grid" demeanour that he runs him off the road?