Not much to write about this race. Our highlight was watching The Winner Takes Vet Tel Junior's nappy pitstop. The race was mercifully short. Having not watched the BBC coverage in a while, it really is suffering. EJ and DC snipe at each other and the team could not get an interview with anyone worthwhile.
Oui
Watching the Qualifying build-up after Qualifying. It makes you realise that there is no real insight given during these interviews. Whitmarsh gave a long chat about making sure you go out at the right time...
Scuderia Principe Pitstop's Wall of Champions - I'll put a photo up when I can
Bottas' helmet cam - but more of it please
Non
The Sky Patented Punditry Method - squinting your eyes and nodding = sage understanding and Active Listening
Di Resta - an angry man who perhaps should take a greater leadership role in the team
The "disorderly queue" putting Raikkonen and Ricciardo back one place on the grid
Eddie Jordan - the ravings of a lunatic, stream of consciousness drivel from a pensioner who thinks he's a rock star
Bottas descent from 3rd
Awkward pre-podium room. The tactic is that the winner talks to their team representative, one driver looks out of the window and the other studies the results.
Monday, 10 June 2013
Canadian GP Results
1. What up Bianchi? - 567
2. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 544
3. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 515
4. The Winner Take Vet Tel - 489
5. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 427
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 391
7. Still Chewing - 388
8. Hippy F1 - 368
9. The Sutil Knife - 365
10. Rowntree's Randoms - 360
11. Superstars - 333
12. The Pitstop Princess - 327
13. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 279
14. Schumacher's Ghost - 273
15. Year of the Tifosi - 219
16. 100 % BritishBeef Horsepower - 193
17. The Dark Button - 185
18. The Baldy Biker - 180
2. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 544
3. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 515
4. The Winner Take Vet Tel - 489
5. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 427
6. Beauty & the F1 Geek - 391
7. Still Chewing - 388
8. Hippy F1 - 368
9. The Sutil Knife - 365
10. Rowntree's Randoms - 360
11. Superstars - 333
12. The Pitstop Princess - 327
13. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 279
14. Schumacher's Ghost - 273
15. Year of the Tifosi - 219
16. 100 % British
17. The Dark Button - 185
18. The Baldy Biker - 180
Monday, 27 May 2013
Monaco GP - "We couldn't imagine you driving it better today"
Oui
Brave stewards - it would have been a long race otherwise
News phrases - "rubber-shod centipede of speed" from Croft
Return to the classic interview - and Prost ditched!
Non
Natalie Pinkham in a bikini - what next? Damon in trunks? Herbert in a mankini?
Scandal - it's now testgate, have Mercedes received an unfair advantage from an extra 1,000km on track? Has it really made a difference?
Broken lap times - or was Bottas really in the pits for most of the race?
Whinging - step forward Button, perhaps it only happens when you're McLaren's No1 driver?
Mind the gap - it's not about the tyres, it's about the gap, oh no, that's the gap you come out into when you've changed your tyres
Waiting until Lap 26 for the first overtake - and that was Di Resta on Massa with DRS. Then we had to wait until Lap 41 when Hamilton nearly overtook Webber
Groundhog Day - for Massa, just hitting his head repeatedly on the same wall
More rule-reading needed - Grosjean especially needs to review the safety car procedures
Hamilton's hair/beard - just weird
Button/Perez helmets - both look the same in the cockpit
Safety car - usually re-starts the race with dramatic consequences, not today
Brave stewards - it would have been a long race otherwise
News phrases - "rubber-shod centipede of speed" from Croft
Return to the classic interview - and Prost ditched!
Non
Natalie Pinkham in a bikini - what next? Damon in trunks? Herbert in a mankini?
Scandal - it's now testgate, have Mercedes received an unfair advantage from an extra 1,000km on track? Has it really made a difference?
Broken lap times - or was Bottas really in the pits for most of the race?
Whinging - step forward Button, perhaps it only happens when you're McLaren's No1 driver?
Mind the gap - it's not about the tyres, it's about the gap, oh no, that's the gap you come out into when you've changed your tyres
Waiting until Lap 26 for the first overtake - and that was Di Resta on Massa with DRS. Then we had to wait until Lap 41 when Hamilton nearly overtook Webber
Groundhog Day - for Massa, just hitting his head repeatedly on the same wall
More rule-reading needed - Grosjean especially needs to review the safety car procedures
Hamilton's hair/beard - just weird
Button/Perez helmets - both look the same in the cockpit
Safety car - usually re-starts the race with dramatic consequences, not today
Monaco GP Results
1. What Up Bianchi? - 483
2. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 480
3. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 448
4. The Winner Takes Vet Tel - 405
5. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 367
6. Harry Morton's Mum - 326
7. Still Chewing - 325
8. Hippy F1 - 313
9. Rowntree's Randoms - 308
10. The Sutil Knife - 302
11. Superstars - 278
12. The Pitstop Princess - 272
13. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 252
14. Schumacher's Ghost - 246
15. Year of the Tifosi - 190
16. The Dark Button - 163
17. The Baldy Biker - 158
18. 100% BritishBeef Horsepower - 157
2. Scuderia Principe Pitstop - 480
3. I hate Vettel but I want his points - 448
4. The Winner Takes Vet Tel - 405
5. Rosberg Benz Over Hamilton - 367
6. Harry Morton's Mum - 326
7. Still Chewing - 325
8. Hippy F1 - 313
9. Rowntree's Randoms - 308
10. The Sutil Knife - 302
11. Superstars - 278
12. The Pitstop Princess - 272
13. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! - 252
14. Schumacher's Ghost - 246
15. Year of the Tifosi - 190
16. The Dark Button - 163
17. The Baldy Biker - 158
18. 100% British
Sunday, 12 May 2013
Spanish GP - "I'm happy for all us"
I well remember how happy I was last year after the Spanish Grand Prix, with a joyful Williams win. As Jordan said: "Mircales don't happen twice in the same place." How wrong, there was a miracle. Guitierrez finally came good and scored both fastest lap and climbed the most places from his grid position. It was a funny old podium, Big Boss Montezemolo spoke to top Ferrari driver Alonso, Ferrari Monkey Massa but not Former Ferrari Star, Raikkonen. Massa was delighted with his third place and Raikkonen was disappointed with second.
Si
Amazing pit stops - 2.5 seconds for Vettel and 2.6 seconds for Alonso, they barely seem to stop
Maldonado over takes Hamilton
Pit lane feed, still very much enjoyed in the King Crossword household
No
Cryptic radio messages: "Magic diff"..."Improve braking 4 5 6"..."Charlie level ten ten"..."Wheels, chicken, booster, target two"
What race? Let's just watch the start
Maldonado not hitting the pit lane speed limiter in time
Caterhams - should be penalised for not stopping VDG on track when his wheel was about to come off
Hamilton whinging about a Williams overtaking him
Jordan's jewellry
Si
Amazing pit stops - 2.5 seconds for Vettel and 2.6 seconds for Alonso, they barely seem to stop
Maldonado over takes Hamilton
Pit lane feed, still very much enjoyed in the King Crossword household
No
Cryptic radio messages: "Magic diff"..."Improve braking 4 5 6"..."Charlie level ten ten"..."Wheels, chicken, booster, target two"
What race? Let's just watch the start
Maldonado not hitting the pit lane speed limiter in time
Caterhams - should be penalised for not stopping VDG on track when his wheel was about to come off
Hamilton whinging about a Williams overtaking him
Jordan's jewellry
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