Chart of Lust
1. (re-entry) Barrichello - scored Williams first points of the season and overtook Schumacher
2. (new entry) Alonso's starts - what's not to love if he's on your team?
3. (down 1) Overtaking - always welcome
4. (re-entry) New catchphrases - this week, "lappery" and the long-missed "mobile chicane"
5. (new entry) Alonso's gold helmet - perfect accessory for Monaco
Chart of Loathing
1. (new entry) Post-red flag waiting - wasn't worth it either time
2. (new entry) Poor Red Bull pitstops - people don't spend a small fortune on your awful beverages for you to perform this badly, where were your wings when you needed them?
3. (new entry) Lying and whining - no prizes for who uttered the lines usually heard by petulant teenagers: "I got the penalty, as usual...the other drivers are fricking ridiculous". Why did McLaren PR let him out?
New catchphrases - "floaterhomes"
5. (down 3) McLarens' qualifying overalls - still dreadful